07/15/2025
When my husband smugly announced he was going on a resort vacation without me because I "don't work," I smiled sweetly and let him go. But behind that smile? A storm was brewing. He thought I did nothing all day. He was about to find out exactly how wrong he was.
Keith strutted into the house like he’d just won the lottery. Smug. Too smug.
"Guess what?" he said, dropping his keys in the bowl and plopping down on the couch like he hadn’t just left me pacing the hallway with our screaming 12-week-old. "Mom and Dad are going to a resort. They invited me. I'm going next week."
I blinked. Lily in my arms was red-faced and wailing, and I was running on two hours of sleep, a granola bar, and the last remnants of lukewarm coffee.
"Wait… what?" I said, my voice hoarse.
Keith shrugged. “I NEED a break.”
A pause. Just long enough for me to hear the sound of my blood boiling.
"And me?" I asked quietly, patting the baby’s back while rocking slightly on my feet.
He gave me that look — the one that made my eye twitch. “Babe, you don't work. You’re on maternity leave. It’s not like you’re in an office all day.”
I nearly choked on air.
“You mean… taking care of a newborn around the clock isn’t work?”
Keith laughed, actually laughed. “I mean, come on. It’s not the same. You nap when the baby naps, right? It's like a long vacation. Besides, I’m the only breadwinner right now. I deserve this.”
Oh. Oh no.
I laughed too. Not because it was funny. But because I was dangerously close to launching the baby bottle at his head. Instead, I inhaled slowly, counted to three, and smiled sweetly — the way only a truly pissed-off wife can.
“Of course, dear. You're the ONLY breadwinner. Go have fun.”
Keith smirked, fully convinced he’d just won the lottery of oblivious husbands.
Oh, sweetheart. You have no idea.
The day he left for his little "well-deserved vacation," I kissed him on the cheek and waved from the porch with our baby in one arm, a diaper bag on the other, and m.u.r.der in my eyes.
As soon as his car disappeared down the street, I sprang into action.... (continue reading in the 1st comment)