Weekly Humorist

Weekly Humorist The Standard In American Immaturity! The best in satire, cartoons, pop culture, lists and humor fiction. Check out our comedy events and digital magazine!

The Satire Magazine. The standard in American immaturity. Editor-in-Chief Marty Dundics - A division of Humorist Media

MERCH ALERT! ☕ 🏆World's Best Mug Mug. Let everyone know how proud of your fav mug you are. It deserves it! #mugshot...
05/15/2019
World's Best Mug Mug

MERCH ALERT! ☕ 🏆World's Best Mug Mug. Let everyone know how proud of your fav mug you are. It deserves it! #mugshot #coffeebreak

Ha, they said "mug mug." Whether you're drinking your morning coffee, your evening tea, or something in between – this mug's for you! It's sturdy and glossy with a vivid print that'll withstand the microwave and dishwasher.

⛺️👻Things You Say to a Dead Loved One OR Your Kid When They’re at Sleep Away Camp for the First Time  ~ by Alli...
05/14/2019
Things You Say to a Dead Loved One OR Your Kid When They’re at Sleep Away Camp for the First Time

⛺️👻Things You Say to a Dead Loved One OR Your Kid When They’re at Sleep Away Camp for the First Time ~ by Allison Hirschlag

It’s been raining a lot down here. Is it raining there too?

We miss you terribly. Are you making friends? Is it everything you hoped it would be, or have there been let downs? I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately… I wish we hadn’t gotten into tha…

05/14/2019
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🔥 🦸‍♂️I’ll Let the Hostages Go When You Agree to a Sky High Sequel ~ by Rachel Keller

This lack of Sky High awareness gives me great frustration. I tried to fight it peacefully with letter writing campaigns and rallies, but no one else came!

05/14/2019
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🐰🏀An Oral History of Space Jam ~ by Brendan McGinley

Day 19: Nobody’s said it outright, but the general suspicion around here is that Jordan and Lola are sleeping together.

🎲🤬11 Times Politics Ruined Game Night ~ by Kevin Binder“Of course, Jessie. If a ‘good guy with a gun’ had be...
05/14/2019
11 Times Politics Ruined Game Night

🎲🤬11 Times Politics Ruined Game Night ~ by Kevin Binder

“Of course, Jessie. If a ‘good guy with a gun’ had been there, I’m sure it wouldn’t have been Colonel Mustard, in the ballroom, with the revolver.”

How politics ruined Guess Who: “Seriously dude, this whole ‘I don’t see color’ bullsh*t is really slowing down each round.”

🎭 Proof that by adding the word “Bazinga,” you can turn any Shakespeare character into a one dimensional Sitcom c...
05/13/2019
A Midsummer’s Night Big Bang Theory

🎭 Proof that by adding the word “Bazinga,” you can turn any Shakespeare character into a one dimensional Sitcom character.

A Midsummer’s Night Big Bang Theory ~ by Paul Lander

This is the season of our discontent. Bazinga!

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Bazinga!

📈 Please Deliver This Request for Proposal by End of Week ~ by Katy WhitehurstThink biggerScale moreMake customers mo...
05/13/2019
Please Deliver This Request for Proposal by End of Week

📈 Please Deliver This Request for Proposal by End of Week ~ by Katy Whitehurst

Think bigger

Scale more

Make customers more loyal to this cereal than they are to their husbands

You have 8 hours

My boss told me “deadline has the word ‘dead’ for a reason.” Help.

⚾ How to Make Baseball More Exciting ~ by Sam Spero Play ‘Creed’ on the jumbotron in between pitches.Get a player ...
05/13/2019
How to Make Baseball More Exciting

⚾ How to Make Baseball More Exciting ~ by Sam Spero

Play ‘Creed’ on the jumbotron in between pitches.

Get a player to take a knee during the National Anthem. Twitter is getting a little dull these days.
and more.

Instead of having managers wear the team’s uniform, make them only wear leather. Raise the pitcher’s mound by 10 feet. And more.

Presidential Candidates Running On A Platform of Basically Just Charisma ~by Graham TechlerA Stranger in a Leather Jacke...
05/13/2019
Presidential Candidates Running On A Platform of Basically Just Charisma

Presidential Candidates Running On A Platform of Basically Just Charisma ~by Graham Techler
A Stranger in a Leather Jacket We Haven’t Seen Around Town Before 2020
A Little League Coach Who Gives Everyone Nicknames 2020
A Man Who Just Rolled Up His Sleeves 2020
and more.

A Man Who Just Rolled Up His Sleeves 2020, A Stranger in a Leather Jacket We Haven’t Seen Around Town Before 2020 and more.

Awesome @guaranteeddelivery show this month! Thanks to the great crowd and our amazing super star comics @marknormand  @...
05/13/2019

Awesome @guaranteeddelivery show this month! Thanks to the great crowd and our amazing super star comics @marknormand @carmstagrams @sarahcpr @ashgavs @justin_herman @jasonkanter @adammamawala @iamjoealfano
.
Hosted by @weeklyhumorist Editor-in-Chief @martydundics .
Great drinks and fun always at @mailroomnyc and great pics📸 by @spudtrooper
See you in June! For free tix and info: weeklyhumorist.com

#standupcomedy #insta #standupcomedian #comedy #comedyshow #comedyshows #nightclub #nyc #fidi #photography #photoshoot #jokesfordays #jokes @ Weekly Humorist

🍼🗡️ Game of Thrones Characters Cut for Being Too Game of Thrones ~ by Alex PearsonKing Brett Brett: The 20-month...
05/13/2019
Game of Thrones Characters Cut for Being Too Game of Thrones

🍼🗡️ Game of Thrones Characters Cut for Being Too Game of Thrones ~ by Alex Pearson

King Brett Brett: The 20-month old king who loves horsies, cuddles, and cruel and unusual executions. #GoT #GameofThrones

King Brett Brett: The 20-month old king who loves horsies, cuddles, and cruel and unusual executions.

⚔️☕ Overheard at the Westeros Starbucks ~ by Debra A. Klein“Hey, do you mind scooching your pointy knife chair i...
05/13/2019
Overheard at the Westeros Starbucks

⚔️☕ Overheard at the Westeros Starbucks ~ by Debra A. Klein
“Hey, do you mind scooching your pointy knife chair in just a bit? The good outlet is right behind where you’re brooding.” #GoT #GameofThrones

“Is my latte still not here? What, exactly, is the holdup? It’s like the Long Night in this place! I’m getting grayscale over here!”

🤰🦀 Surprise! The Meanest Girl From High School is Now Someone’s Mom ~ by Alexis NovakIf you had seen this news 1...
05/12/2019
Surprise! The Meanest Girl From High School is Now Someone’s Mom

🤰🦀 Surprise! The Meanest Girl From High School is Now Someone’s Mom ~ by Alexis Novak

If you had seen this news 15 years ago, when Meghan spread the rumor that you had butthole crabs, it would have floored you. #mothersday

Well, either way, her baby is our nation’s future and Meghan, the girl who painted her face red, punched your dad in the throat, and then pants-ed him (with underwear) is now in charge of it!

💅👶 “Oh Crap! It’s Mother’s Day” 14 Last Minute Gift Ideas ~ by Bridget Fitzgerald Who has time to bake a c...
05/12/2019
“Oh Crap! It’s Mother’s Day” 14 Last Minute Gift Ideas

💅👶 “Oh Crap! It’s Mother’s Day” 14 Last Minute Gift Ideas ~ by Bridget Fitzgerald

Who has time to bake a cake? Little Debbie, that’s who. #mothersday

Who has time to bake a cake? Little Debbie, that’s who. Social media your mother’s day. Sure, all the profile pics on Facebook are moms and kids in the 80s and 90s – but what abou…

💎 ‍💝We Got You This Beautiful Charm Bracelet For #MothersDay ~ by Sarah Aswell The pearl seahorse charm represen...
05/12/2019
We Got You This Beautiful Charm Bracelet For Mother’s Day

💎 ‍💝We Got You This Beautiful Charm Bracelet For #MothersDay ~ by Sarah Aswell

The pearl seahorse charm represents the quiet day alone at the beach that you keep requesting for your Mother’s Day gift instead of a charm bracelet. You’re so hilarious and we love you so much.

Mom, we love you so deeply that this Mother’s Day we got you this beautiful charm bracelet. Each charm represents something very special.   The blue gem charm represents Jackson.   The pi…

💐💞Smotherly Love. Today's Mother's Day cartoon by Drew Panckeri! https://www.weeklyhumorist.com/cartoon-overbearin...
05/12/2019

💐💞Smotherly Love. Today's Mother's Day cartoon by Drew Panckeri! https://www.weeklyhumorist.com/cartoon-overbearing/ Now wipe that schmutz off your face! Subscribe to Weekly Humorist! weeklyhumorist.com/subscriptions #mom #mothersday #mothers #cartoons

☕💻My Bombshell Revelation: I, Your Friendly Office Co-Worker, Am Actually an Asshole ~ by Michael FerroSure, I’ve...
05/11/2019
My Bombshell Revelation: I, Your Friendly Office Co-Worker, Am Actually an Asshole

☕💻My Bombshell Revelation: I, Your Friendly Office Co-Worker, Am Actually an Asshole ~ by Michael Ferro

Sure, I’ve hurt many feelings around the office with my secret terrors, ruined more than one career—perhaps even lives

My fellow GloboPlanet Corporate Headquarters Employees: It has come to my attention that our office newsletter has been secretly compiling evidence for an exposé on me, your kind-hearted, gregariou…

📲⌛️New Apps for People Who Suffer From Time Mismanagement, Which Other People Shouldn’t Find So Problematic ~ b...
05/11/2019
New Apps for People Who Suffer From Time Mismanagement, Which Other People Shouldn’t Find So Problematic

📲⌛️New Apps for People Who Suffer From Time Mismanagement, Which Other People Shouldn’t Find So Problematic ~ by Kristen Damiani

Time Detective is a lie-detector service that can weed out the toxic people in your life who try to control your arrival wills.

Apologize Now – Are the apologies you give for your constant lateness feeling a little stale? Apologize Now is an on-demand apology service that will send you a custom apology for your delaye…

🍜🍆Aphrodisiacs That’ll Get You Real Horned Up In No Time ~ by Mia MercadoWhen you show up at your friend’s hou...
05/11/2019
Aphrodisiacs That’ll Get You Real Horned Up In No Time

🍜🍆Aphrodisiacs That’ll Get You Real Horned Up In No Time ~ by Mia Mercado

When you show up at your friend’s house and their mom is like “I made snacks just in case”

Someone else’s leftovers Costco samples A lettuce leaf that lightly brushes your cheek while it’s being fed to you Free bread The word “peach” Talking about ordering oysters and then agreeing that …

🐟🍷Yelp Reviews of The Last Supper ~ by ‪Irving Ruan“Seriously, this place is a total steal!! The unlimited bre...
05/11/2019
Yelp Reviews of The Last Supper

🐟🍷Yelp Reviews of The Last Supper ~ by ‪Irving Ruan

“Seriously, this place is a total steal!! The unlimited bread is to die for!!!”

Categories: Mediterranean Locations: Jerusalem Attire: Casual Good for Kids: No Alcohol: Yes   ★★★☆☆ “I came here with a big group and we were immediately seated. Our meal started off with bre…

🍷😭Wine Reviews By A Sommelier In The Midst Of A Heinous Breakup ~ by Kira Jane BuxtonThe concentration of flavor i...
05/11/2019
Wine Reviews By A Sommelier In The Midst Of A Heinous Breakup

🍷😭Wine Reviews By A Sommelier In The Midst Of A Heinous Breakup ~ by Kira Jane Buxton

The concentration of flavor is immense and has the verve, drive and linearity of my John Deere plowing into the side of Chad’s Ford F-150.

Palazzo Lucca 2008 Lamprey-Stuffed River Pinot Grigio Frutti Di Spazzatura; $24:   Light-bodied, racy with generous zip and a fruit-forward zestiness. It becomes sublime as it opens, conjuring…

💏🧟‍♀️Is Your Dating App Match, A Bit Too Much Of A Match? Welcome to Incestry FAQ ~ by Kit LivelyQ:  If you ...
05/11/2019
Is Your Dating App Match, A Bit Too Much Of A Match? Welcome to Incestry FAQ

💏🧟‍♀️Is Your Dating App Match, A Bit Too Much Of A Match? Welcome to Incestry FAQ ~ by Kit Lively

Q: If you guys are wrong, and then my kid comes out with gills or an extra arm, do I get a refund or something?

Is this new person you find so relatable someone that you’re actually related to? Let’s find out!

🤢🧖‍♂️C’EST TOXIQUE (For The Man Who Isn’t Afraid Of A Few Non-Existent Side Effects) ~ by David ElliottI...
05/11/2019
C’EST TOXIQUE (For The Man Who Isn’t Afraid Of A Few Non-Existent Side Effects)

🤢🧖‍♂️C’EST TOXIQUE (For The Man Who Isn’t Afraid Of A Few Non-Existent Side Effects) ~ by David Elliott

It smells of opportunity and can easily mask the smell of the constant stream of urine dribbling down your inner thighs

C’est Toxique is a real cologne, for real men, and it definitely won’t make you incontinent.

New Issue of Weekly Humorist is on digital newsstands! Funny articles and cartoons by Mike Shiell (cover), Toby Herman, ...
05/11/2019

New Issue of Weekly Humorist is on digital newsstands! Funny articles and cartoons by Mike Shiell (cover), Toby Herman, Erik Sternberger, Holly Amos, Kit Lively, Brian Boone , Gwen Thomas, Connor Relyea, Evan Lian , Paul Lander and Dan McConnell Get an issue=> magazine.weeklyhumorist.com or a full subscription=> weeklyhumorist.com/subscriptions #magazine #humor #satire

New Issue of Weekly Humorist is on digital newsstands! Funny articles and cartoons by Mike Shiell (cover), Toby Herman, ...
05/11/2019

New Issue of Weekly Humorist is on digital newsstands! Funny articles and cartoons by Mike Shiell (cover), Toby Herman, Erik Sternberger, Holly Amos, Kit Lively, Brian Boone , Gwen Thomas, Connor Relyea, Evan Lian , Paul Lander and Dan McConnell Get an issue=> magazine.weeklyhumorist.com or a full subscription=> weeklyhumorist.com/subscriptions #magazine #humor #satire ⠀
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#art #illustration #painting #funny #humor #comedy #satire #editorialcartoons #politicalcartoons #tnycartoons #cartoonistsofinstagram #instaaily #instaart #model #photography #photooftheday #viral #funnymeme #doodle #love #instagood #death #beautiful #sketch #design #magazinecover

📧🔔Managing Your Email Notifications ~ by Lee SachsSaturday Survey: When everyone is winding down, and those who ob...
05/10/2019
Managing Your Email Notifications

📧🔔Managing Your Email Notifications ~ by Lee Sachs

Saturday Survey: When everyone is winding down, and those who observe the Jewish Sabbath are in synagogue, we send out this survey of relevant topics.

The “Jesus Christ What’s This Newsletter” is a weekly collection of totally unrelated things that are trending on Twitter, hot on Instagram, Snapchat stories and things to click on that…

⌨️📓The Best Spots in New York to Get A Little Quiet Writing Done ~ by Graham TechlerI’m dropping all pretense. ...
05/10/2019
The Best Spots in New York to Get A Little Quiet Writing Done

⌨️📓The Best Spots in New York to Get A Little Quiet Writing Done ~ by Graham Techler

I’m dropping all pretense. This is likely the bathroom Scott Rudin uses.

Onstage at the Al Hirschfeld Theatre: Do you have the old play-based creativity-inclusive content bug? Scratch that itch by standing onstage at the Al Hirschfeld during a performance of Kinky Boots…

05/10/2019
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🚇💌Letter From the R-Train ~ by Andy Newton

Conditions here are harsh, crammed in as we are, often dozens to a cabin. A lone baby wails, somewhere, in the still, dense crowd.

05/10/2019
www.weeklyhumorist.com

🔥🥰New Dating Rules For The Apocalypse ~ by ‪@mariselagrajed1‬

Don’t worry about trying to impress. The fact that you are still alive is very sexy!

05/10/2019
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👩‍🌾🥕Imagined Notification Texts from Two Startup Meal Delivery Services in the Near Future ~ by Melissa Pelletier

I am still cleaning your refrigerator as a container of hoisin sauce exploded when I moved it.

05/10/2019
www.weeklyhumorist.com

🥇💁‍♂️The Westminster Human Show 2047 ~ by Brian Alexander

Winner of the Harmless Group: The Suburban Dad

🎙🧨“Alexa, Self-Destruct” And Other Ways To Delete What Alexa Records You Saying ~ by Josh FeinblattShut down w...
05/10/2019
“Alexa, Self-Destruct” And Other Ways To Delete What Alexa Records You Saying

🎙🧨“Alexa, Self-Destruct” And Other Ways To Delete What Alexa Records You Saying ~ by Josh Feinblatt

Shut down will proceed if you order a Google home from your Alexa.

With the recent news that Amazon’s Alexa device saves recordings of its owners talking, the Amazon community is up in arms. People everywhere are furious that the device they talk to is listening t…

📰👹It’s True That Demons Are Possessing Human Souls, But You Need To Change Your Tone ~ by Tulio EspinozaYou need...
05/10/2019
It’s True That Demons Are Possessing Human Souls, But You Need To Change Your Tone

📰👹It’s True That Demons Are Possessing Human Souls, But You Need To Change Your Tone ~ by Tulio Espinoza

You need to understand one thing: demons deserve a baseline of respect and decency.

As a journalist who is doing the most important work in our democracy right now, I am concerned. Look, I get it, people are angry because demons are coming out of their lairs and possessing human s…

👎📲Awfully Critical Software Updates ~ by Jordan LandsmanSeamless: The idea that a mere software update could relea...
05/09/2019
Awfully Critical Software Updates

👎📲Awfully Critical Software Updates ~ by Jordan Landsman

Seamless: The idea that a mere software update could release you from your vicious cycle of indolence, self-loathing, and delivery is both sad and preposterous.

Tinder: We read through your messages and we’ve selected you to beta test our new superdislike feature. And more.

05/09/2019
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💩🚌Various Thoughts From People On A Greyhound Bus Watching Me Go To The Bathroom Five Times ~ by Ben Hargrave

He is committing a crime against humanity by relieving himself surrounded by a captive audience. This guy deserves prison time.

🤬🚒Hyper Local and Hyper Petty: Your Town’s Facebook Group ~ by Rachel KellerI’d like to publicly call out the ...
05/09/2019
Hyper Local and Hyper Petty: Your Town’s Facebook Group

🤬🚒Hyper Local and Hyper Petty: Your Town’s Facebook Group ~ by Rachel Keller

I’d like to publicly call out the fire truck that is blocking the entrance to the Starbucks.

Barbara Klein: Today outside the Starbucks I saw our state’s bird, a goldfinch! What a nice surprise on a Tuesday morning! Marc Crabtree: Goldfinches are a trash bird.

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