red velvet
10/18/2016
Lets Whip it Charou Style
Lets Whip it Charou Style
This is an account of an actual event recorded by Kovilan.
Calvins version below is of what happened between himself and the two Keegans:
....
Aweh this is a story about how
My life got flipped upside down
My outies take a minute just park right there
I'll tell you how I became the Madhir of Belvedere
In Northern Umhlanga (Phoenix) i was born and raised
Tees Tavern is where I spent most of my days
Chilling, relaxing all was lukka and fine
Shootin' some pool outside the school
When a couple of ous acting like stekkies
Dala'd a move in the neighbourhood
I got in one little parra and my ma got jaax
And reckon you movin with your auntie and al in Belvedere.
I chooned her 'I come right ma' day after day
But she parked dom, packed my gudri and sent me away
She gave one ba and taxi marcha
So I Put my ray bans on and said I might as well vaai there...
Tongaat yo I got so much fear
Farmers living there, no pakis to cut my hair
Is this the type of place that they just send a madhir?
Aah I will jus park dom cos I was gonna live long.
Wait till i become the Madhir of Belvedere.
Waar now the taxi just came and bumping with no sound
I wish i never got in cos it vaaied round and round
I had nerves cos i had the sh*ts
Plus I was getting naar with the condis armpits
I reckon bugger it and tried to dos
Next thing i know i hear 'ey watkin boss!'
Aah it was my cuzzie keegan I met up by the rank
Way I smaak this makri! thawa brought his new polo just to swank
He said cameway guzzie and we pull up to his posie
I tune my cuz 'ekse pythons are biting dont be lousy'
Straight away, skraal i vaai to dala the fridge
But fasting time now and they only got veg
So swaak we are not even crown for a pie
So we pull in by his crew who was having a braai.
small time jol jus couple of guys
I choon them 'Aweh im Calvin watkin your naais?'
One tall ou called Kovilan said
'like CK underwear?'
So I took off my shirt and showed them my CK label swanking above my white DG shorts.
'Howa here!'
Another ugly bra says 'My name also Keegan you can have one chop, dont eat span or have any dop'
Very foward moffie lighties like this make me sick!
But I neva chowed meat for last 3 weeks
So slowly I park and push one after one
I can check ous snying but im lyka Don
Ugly Keegan tunes me flat 'dont dala with me im warning you right'
This ou is a cake lytie who thinks he can fight!
I grab the last chop over there cos he can suck doll
But he smacks it out of my hand an I just watch it fall
I shout at my cuzzie Keegan ay larnie hold me back. I"ll finish this ou he dunno me.
how he can jus knock the thing from my hand.
I shoot him one look. 'Im from phoenix. Wheres my gun?
You know what what we do in phoenix? we kill people. We smack them for fun.'
He was hearing min
he just landed one uppercut on my chin
All the ous are scoping me,
That Theegan even recording me.
I couldnt lose face and be a first day disgrace. I had to retaliate.
Like a machine gun I sounded his head with my flying fists
My head ducked low in defense mode like i was from unit 8.
But I chowed too much and never yet sh*t
straight Dancing like a mantis drained me down
Too late! Ugly checked me swoon
His crew gathered round like a couple of goons
One neighbour aunty shouted for keegan to stop the fight. mus be could see I was
going to call it a night.
Suddenly Kovilan shouts ay vaai way.
Same time we Kick it. Braai coals went flying no one could see whats happening
We closed the whole scene
before the aunties started jumping.
***
Last night looked at my facebook I was finally there.
Nevermind I cant vaai braais jus to meetup with naais. Jus sit on my throne as the Madhir of Belvedere.
Aweh.
#warrappenkeegan #warrappen #warrappentothemeat #madhir
Warrapen Keegan WarrapenKeegan
