08/09/2026
I turned down the aisle, looked to my right, and saw nothing but orange, yellow, and brown.
Fall decorations.
And before I could even process what I was looking at, a wave of cold washed over me.
It went through my whole body.
My eyes started filling with water before I even understood why I was about to cry. Goosebumps covered my skin. A shiver ran down my spine. It was almost like my body knew what those colours meant before my mind could catch up.
I just stood there staring at the leaves.
And for a moment, the dollar store disappeared.
I was still standing there. I knew I was standing there. I knew I was grieving.
But somehow, I wasn’t really there anymore.
I could see it all.
The house.
My family.
The Thanksgiving dinners.
My mom.
My dad cooking.
The kids running around.
Halloween.
The candy scattered everywhere.
The laughter.
The smiles.
And then Edmonton came rushing in too.
Mateo in his little pumpkin costume, sitting in a pile of leaves while I took pictures of him.
Me and Kailee walking through the store looking for another fall candle.
Pumpkin.
Vanilla.
Apple pie.
I could almost smell them.
I could feel the warmth of the house.
I could hear the laughter.
I could see the smiles.
It wasn’t just memories anymore.
For those few moments, they felt alive.
Like my mind had taken me somewhere my body couldn’t go.
And then the reality came back.
The leaves were still there.
The decorations were still hanging on the shelves.
My sister was still beside me.
And I was still standing in a dollar store, trying to hold back tears over a life that I miss more than I know how to explain.
That was the strangest part.
I didn’t choose to remember any of it.
I didn’t sit there and think, I miss my family.
My body just remembered for me.
And then came the grief.
