Shark Theory

Shark Theory Shark Theory is a mindset company dedicated to building confidence and mindsets. Mindset matters! 🦈

Through inspiring keynotes, workshops, and consulting, we help individuals and organizations achieve peak performance.

10/30/2024

This week's Shark Bites Newsletter

The Day I Killed Superman (and saved myself)

For most of my life, I suffered from a terrible disease called "Yes."

“Yes, I can help you with that,” “Yes, I’ll attend that event of yours,” “Yes, I can do that,” yes, yes, yes. If someone asked, the answer was always yes.

I used to think I was just being a helpful guy, taking pride in being there for everyone, all the time. That’s what we’re supposed to do, right? Help others when we can? In my mind, I was Superman. Superman can save the world. He’s fearless, always available, and not constrained by the confines of 24 hours.

Superman is almost invincible. And I wanted to be invincible too. But even Superman has a weakness—Kryptonite.

One day a few years ago, while working on my second re-write of Wintality, I felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety. I had a million projects that needed my attention, hundreds of messages and emails from fans I hadn’t replied to, and four events to attend in the coming days—friend’s parties, business launches, charity events. On top of that, I was behind schedule on the second manuscript for my book.

And I just lost it. I broke down.

I was exhausted. My brain wasn’t working. My body was sore for no reason. I sat on the couch all day. I didn’t answer my phone, didn’t check emails or messages. I didn’t respond to anyone. I just sat there hurting over the sad realization that I wasn’t Superman anymore. I couldn’t carry the load.

It was depressing. First, I thought, “Am I losing my edge? Am I just getting older?” A flood of questions and doubts rushed through my mind. I stared at my reflection in a blank TV screen.

“What happened, Superman?”

After what seemed like hours, the reflection seemed to answer my question… You killed me.

Nah, that couldn’t be true. Could it?

But as I thought about it, I realized it was true. Superman can only be killed by Kryptonite. And unknowingly, I had been injecting myself with Kryptonite. The Kryptonite that killed the Superman version of Baylor was my constant “yes.”

Saying “YES” to everything meant I was saying “NO” to myself. In trying to help everyone else with their dreams, I was quietly telling myself that my own dreams didn’t matter, or that I’d get to them "someday."

The very thing I was telling others to do—follow your heart, do what you want to do, focus on yourself—I wasn’t applying to my own life. In that moment, I realized what a hypocrite I’d been. Not intentionally; my heart was in the right place, but my actions weren’t. And our dreams don’t care about excuses or intentions, only actions and results.

I walked over to the mirror and stared at myself. I apologized to Superman. I told myself I never meant to be my own downfall, never meant to hit myself with that dreaded Kryptonite.

But it was too late. Superman was dead, and I had killed him.

I made a promise to myself that day: to say "YES" to me. That promise meant I’d have to say "No" to things and people that didn’t align with my purpose. It meant I’d have to battle my heart and my pride, which desperately wanted to be there for everyone else. It meant I couldn’t and wouldn’t be everywhere all the time.

But I realized that in fulfilling that promise to myself, I’d ultimately be able to help far more people than I ever had before.

And with that realization, I smiled. Deep down…

Superman’s heart started beating again.

10/23/2024

This week's Shark Bites Newsletter

Calming the Mental Fire Alarms

In the wee hours of this morning, the fire alarm suddenly blared for no apparent reason. The loud, shrill noise jolted me awake, and it startled my Australian Shepherd puppy, Bear. While I understood what a fire alarm was, this was Bear’s first experience hearing one. In a panicked state, he stood up and began howling like a wolf howling at the moon. As I tried to soothe him, explaining there was no real danger, Bear continued howling and whimpering, unable to comprehend the source of the noise.

Realizing he wouldn’t calm down inside, I quickly got dressed and took him outside for some fresh air and a break from the piercing alarm. We went for a long walk, and by the time we returned, the alarm had stopped, and all was right with the world.

Reflecting on this experience, I thought about how we as humans understand physical fire alarms, but much like Bear’s confusion, we don’t always recognize the mental fire alarms that ring in our minds. These are the moments when we’re plagued by self-doubt, waves of anxiety, or sudden bursts of paranoia. We often don’t understand where these feelings come from or why they arise, but they are alarms nonetheless.

When we’re hit with these mental alarms, we often panic like Bear did. Questions start flooding our minds: “Why do I feel this way?” “Will it ever get better?” “What’s happening in my life?” These are real thoughts that most of us experience at some point.

Think about the physical fire alarms you’ve experienced—how many of them have been actual fires? Personally, I’ve never heard a fire alarm triggered by a real fire; they’re almost always false alarms. Mental fire alarms work the same way. The situation may seem real, the anxiety might feel justified, but often, we’re triggered by perceived threats or situations that haven’t even materialized.

Our mind’s primary goal is to keep us safe, so we’re naturally inclined to focus on negative or threatening scenarios. This tendency can create false alarms in our minds, causing us to stress over situations that aren’t real or aren’t immediate threats.

The Solution? Step Outside.

When I took Bear outside, away from the noise, his focus shifted to the sights and scents of our walk. The same principle applies to us. Sometimes, you need to step outside—literally or figuratively. Break the pattern of your thoughts and shift your focus. Go for a walk, call a friend, watch a show, or do something as simple as a crossword puzzle. Interrupting the cycle of negative thoughts is the quickest way to turn off the mental alarms, allowing you to return to a peaceful state.

Life is challenging enough without stressing over alarms that aren’t signaling real fires. By taking a step back and changing your perspective, you can quiet the noise and find calm amid the chaos.

This week's Shark Theory Shark Bites NewsletterThe Aussie Perspective: Living in the MomentThis past Monday marked one y...
09/25/2024

This week's Shark Theory Shark Bites Newsletter

The Aussie Perspective: Living in the Moment

This past Monday marked one year since I got my Australian Shepherd puppy, Bear. Over the last year, I’ve observed how he approaches life, and it’s taught me some valuable lessons. If you’re not familiar with Aussies, they’re high-energy dogs with a bit too much intelligence.

I’ll admit, Bear is spoiled. My sister often jokes that a year ago we thought he’d be obedient and use his intelligence for good, but instead, he focuses on maximizing playtime and treats.

However, Bear has one characteristic I admire and want to adopt in my own life—and I think it’s something we could all benefit from. Despite his ability to learn and retain things like words, routes to new parks, or remembering faces, there’s one thing Bear doesn’t do: He never carries yesterday into today.

If I’ve had a busy day and couldn’t play with him much, he doesn’t hold it against me. If I scold him for eating my sandwich (or sneaking a sip of my martini when I’m distracted), he lets it go. Every single day, Bear wakes up with excitement, ready for whatever the day brings. Even if we’re walking the same old trail, he finds something new to be excited about—a fresh scent, a squirrel to chase, or just the joy of being outside.

That’s how I want to live my life. Imagine if we all let go of yesterday’s stress, hurt, or disappointment, and focused on the beauty and potential of today. Imagine if we saw every day as an adventure, full of opportunities. Imagine being truly present, cherishing time with loved ones and enjoying what we do.

The best part is, we don’t have to just imagine it. We can choose to live that way—right now. You can adopt that “Aussie Perspective” today. So, what will it be? Will you embrace today, or carry the weight of yesterday? The choice is yours.

(PS, here's a pic of Bear and his beautiful Girlfriend Sadie to bring a smile to your day)

09/18/2024

This week's Shark Theory Shark Bites Newsletter

From the Red Carpet to Center Stage: Embracing Your Unique Path

Years ago, I was invited to the First Night of the Opera at the Winspear Opera House in Dallas, TX, a prestigious event that was completely outside my comfort zone. As I stepped out of the limo and onto the red carpet, I remember telling myself, “Just act confident and act like you belong.” Surrounded by seasoned opera goers, I felt out of place but was captivated by the venue’s beauty and the powerful voices filling the space.

While watching the performance, I had a fleeting thought: how amazing it would be to stand on that stage. However, I quickly dismissed it, thinking my singing voice— which sounds like a mixture of Oscar the Grouch, Cookie Monster, and Kermit the Frog—didn’t quite qualify me for such a moment. I had always believed that the only way to achieve a goal like that was to fit the traditional mold. Since I couldn’t sing, that dream was seemingly dead.

Little did I know, my speaking career was gaining momentum, and I was being vetted by a major university to deliver a keynote address at the university’s graduation. Less than two years after that night at the opera, I found myself center stage at the sold-out Winspear Opera House—not as a singer, but as a speaker, inspiring graduates to overcome adversities and challenges.

This experience taught me that our unique gifts and talents can lead us to our goals in unexpected ways. You don’t need to have the same skills as everyone else. Embrace your uniqueness, hone your strengths, and fully commit to being the best at what you do. There are many paths to success, and if you stay true to yourself, you’ll find yours.

This weekend, I completed the full marathon at the 2024 All Day Running Co. RunningMan Festival in Rome, Georgia. My shi...
09/16/2024

This weekend, I completed the full marathon at the 2024 All Day Running Co. RunningMan Festival in Rome, Georgia. My shirt, courtesy of XSports, said, “Faster Than Everyone Who Never Started.” This message goes beyond marathon times; it's a reminder for life.

It’s easy to compare ourselves to colleagues, competitors, or influencers on social media and think, “I’m so far behind.” That self-doubt can lead to fear, procrastination, or even worse—never starting at all.

My inbox is filled with messages from people saying, “One day, I’ll write a book, start a podcast, run a marathon, or become a speaker.” The problem with “one day” is that it never comes. All we have is today.

Be a doer, not just a dreamer. Take action toward your goals. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it also wasn’t built by just hoping and dreaming—someone had to lay the first brick.

Take a step. If you’re taking action, you’re already ahead of the 99% who never will. Congratulations, you’re winning. Keep running your race.

09/11/2024

Today's Shark Theory Shark Bites Newsletter

Lessons from the Heckle Hole: Staying Focused Amidst Life's Distractions

Yesterday, I participated in the North Texas Warrior Golf Association Mission Zero Golf Classic, supporting an initiative that helps veterans cope with mental health challenges. Charity golf tournaments often feature unique holes that differ from regular play, and this event was no exception. The standout was the "heckle hole," where players faced an unexpected challenge.

At this hole, we each took two shots. The first was standard, but for the second, a group of seemingly professional hecklers tried to throw us off our game with their comments. While their antics were hilarious, the results were telling. On the quiet first shot, I easily cleared the water hazard and landed on the green. However, during the "heckle shot," my teammates and I all found the water.

What changed? The hole, distance, and club were the same, and only minutes had passed between shots. The difference lay in our focus: on the first shot, we concentrated on the task at hand; on the second, we were distracted by the noise.

This experience offers a powerful life lesson. When we listen to the noise around us, it often wins. I realized my second shot failed because I was so fixated on anticipating the hecklers that I lost sight of my primary focus – the shot itself.

In our careers and pursuit of goals, we constantly face "noise." It can come in many forms: adversity, doubters, fear, worry, self-doubt, and procrastination. If we're not careful, these voices can become so dominant that they drown out everything else.

We face one truth and two options. The truth is that noise is an inevitable part of growth. Knowing this, we have two choices: stay focused on what needs to be done to drive toward our goals, landing on the "greens" of success, or succumb to the false beliefs of "what they say" and live derailed from our aspirations.

The choice is ours. Will we let the noise dictate our path, or will we remain focused on our goals despite the distractions?

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shark-theory/id1371777496?i=1000669005630Today’s world su***de prevention day. If ...
09/10/2024

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shark-theory/id1371777496?i=1000669005630

Today’s world su***de prevention day. If you or someone you know is struggling, please take 7 minutes and listen to today’s podcast.

In this poignant and deeply personal episode of "Shark Theory," host Baylor Barbee addresses the critical issue of su***de prevention in honor of World Su***de

09/04/2024

this week's Shark Theory Shark Bites Newsletter:

Embrace the Blank Page: Finding Laughter on Your Off Days

Some days, when I sit down to work on my books, my mind overflows with ideas, parables, and research. I type away eagerly, feeling that creative spark. We all love those moments when everything just clicks.

But more often than not, I have “the other days.” You know, the days when your brain feels foggy, nothing comes to mind, and you start questioning your career choices. I find myself staring at the blinking cursor and the blank page, wondering if I've run out of good ideas, if there are no more chapters left in me to help people, or if I've already peaked. Those doubts creep in—I'm sure you’ve been there too.

Even if you're not an author, your career is writing the autobiography of your life. We all have those “blank page days,” filled with negative "what ifs" as we search for the next spark of inspiration, ideas, or opportunities to advance.

What I've learned is that how we handle those blank page days shapes our lives. Instead of dwelling on self-sabotage, what if we tried something different—what if we enjoyed the blank days?

As an author, I've made it a habit to reframe those moments. I joke with myself, as if I'm bantering with a friend. “Dang, Baylor, if you were as consistent as that blinking cursor, you’d have 100 books done today! Haha.” “Hey Baylor, don’t forget—people need words, not blank pages!” These little jokes make me laugh, and that lightheartedness helps me get out of my own head.

When we stop taking ourselves so seriously, we clear the mental clutter that holds us back. Without getting into detail on the physiological effects of stress on the mind, just know that stress limits our cognitive ability, but laughter releases endorphins that counteract that stress, opening up our minds. And, without fail, I find a way to put words on the page. Not every writing session ends up in a book, blog, or podcast, but each day I practice my craft.

Let's ditch the idea that everything has to be perfect. Let’s learn to laugh at ourselves and with ourselves, so we can keep moving forward. After all, it's true—laughter really is the best medicine.

08/28/2024

This week's Shark Theory Shark Bites Newsletter

Riding Through Fear: How a Horse Taught Me to Embrace What Could Go Right

Years ago, a good friend of mine lost a loved one, and I wanted to cheer her up. I said, “Name anything that will bring a smile to your face, and we’ll do it.” She responded, “I’d like to ride a horse.” Despite my fear of horses, I said, “No problem, find a place to ride, and we’ll go.” I figured it was a safe bet since we live in Dallas, and I assumed there wouldn’t be any place nearby for horseback riding.

I was wrong.

She found a ranch north of Dallas that offered trail rides, and we signed up. The night before, I stayed up watching videos of cowboys getting bucked off horses and reading horror stories about people falling. I filled my mind with everything that could go wrong.

But you know what I never considered? What could go right.

The next day, we arrived, and I was nervous. The guide told me that the horse could sense my anxiety, making it nervous too. With my mind full of worst-case scenarios, as soon as I got on the horse, I immediately imagined myself falling off. Every small misstep felt like it could be my last. On the trail, my horse kept biting the one in front of it.

The guide told me to control my horse, which made me laugh. But then he explained that my horse was used to being the leader, and it was frustrated not being in front. Suddenly, I understood the horse. Suddenly, the ride wasn’t as terrifying. Suddenly, I was ready for the horse to run (though they didn’t let us).

The point is, we often fill our minds with everything that could go wrong and then wonder why we’re scared to chase big goals—or worse, why we never start. But what if we took the time to understand what we fear, like I did with the horse? More often than not, you’ll find more commonality than difference. And when you find that commonality, the fear subsides, and you’re off to the races.

08/21/2024

today's Shark Theory Shark Bites newsletters

Swimming Through Fear: Embracing the Challenge of Life's Murky Waters

I compete in the sport of triathlon, which consists of a swim, a bike, and a run. A typical Olympic distance includes about a mile swim, a 25-mile bike ride, and a 6.2-mile run. It only gets more intense from there. For instance, a half Ironman involves a 1.2-mile swim, a 56-mile bike ride, and a 13.1-mile run. It’s challenging, to say the least.

Training for all three disciplines is unique because only two of them give you a real feel for what it’s like on race day.

Running is straightforward—when you run outside during training, it’s just like the race. Cycling is similar, except there’s more security during the race. But the swim? That’s different. For safety reasons, most swim training happens in the pool. In the pool, the water is calm, there are lane ropes, clear water, a line down the middle, and measured distances to help you track your progress.

I’m a strong pool swimmer. But the actual race? It’s a different story. Much like life, we often have a vision of how things will be—a vision created in the comfort of our home or office, under favorable conditions. But that vision often overlooks a harsh reality: the waves of life are fierce, and the waters can be murky.

Every time I enter those fresh lakes for a race, I panic. As we float in the water waiting for the gun to go off, I find myself thinking about the animals beneath me, worrying that I can’t swim straight because the water isn’t clear, and feeling anxious because my wetsuit covers my watch, leaving me unaware of how far I’ve swum. Add to that the thousands of other racers kicking and splashing, all trying to gain position—it’s a nightmare.

In those first few minutes of the swim, my mind is consumed with thoughts like, “I can’t do this,” “I’m in over my head,” and “I’m not getting anywhere.” These are the same thoughts many of us have when we take on difficult challenges. My heart rate skyrockets, but I remind myself of one crucial thing—THE FIRST FEW MINUTES ARE A LIE, BAYLOR.

Here’s what I mean: Our minds are genetically wired only for survival. They don't care if we win, the minds just wants us to stay safe, to survive. This often means our initial reaction is to run, retreat, or quit. It’s why, when we face adversity, we often imagine the worst-case scenario.

In moments like this, it’s important to remind yourself—THE FIRST FEW (INSERT ADVERSITY) ARE A LIE. This could apply to the first few sales attempts at a new job, the first few miles of a marathon, or the first rough patches in a relationship.

But if you can keep your calm and continue to move forward, the nerves will subside, and the truth will emerge. The truth is that you are capable, you are a winner, and you will reach your finish line.

08/14/2024

This week's Shark Theory Shark Bites Newslette

Swinging Your Own Way: The Myth of One-Size-Fits-All Success

When I first got into golf a few years ago, I thought, “If it’s good enough for Tiger Woods, it’s good enough for me.” So, when I received a Scotty Cameron Newport 2 putter—the exact model Tiger used—I was certain it would make me a great putter.

Except it didn’t. The putter didn’t magically improve my game. While I looked cooler, my skills didn’t match the equipment. The fundamental mistake I made, which many of us make, is believing
that the tool itself will make us better. I thought the purchase would enhance my game, but Tiger, or any other professional, knows that experience and practice are what truly matter. The tool is only as effective as the person using it.

Another error was assuming that what works for someone else would work for me. How often do we try to replicate what we see in others, hoping for the same results? Beyond thinking the putter would improve my game, I didn’t account for the fact that I don’t have the same mechanics or swing as Tiger. Golfers have varied swings and preferences—there are thousands of putters, grips, and shafts. You might need a different type of putter suited to your own swing and skill level.

Life is similar. What works for others might not work for you, and vice versa. The key is to identify tools that enhance your own strengths. We need to stop idolizing tools and instead learn to make them work for us. It’s not about the putter; it’s about the person using it. It’s not the product; it’s the person selling it. It’s not the system; it’s the person teaching it that makes the difference.

Find your own path and seek out the tools that help you achieve your goals on your terms.

08/07/2024

This week's Shark Bites newsletter:

The Million Dollar Lesson: Building Success One Step at a Time

When I was fresh out of college, I was trying to make something happen for myself. I was rapping, building websites, and offering marketing consulting to various clients with my youthful perspective (pronounced "no experience"). Slowly, I started to make a name for myself, and this led me to meet one of the investors of a then-client. He was an older man, extremely wealthy, and very benevolent. I truly enjoyed our conversations.

He lived up north and one day invited me to his home in Ohio to learn more about me and discuss my vision for the company he had invested heavily in. I was excited since, at that point in my life, I didn't personally know many wealthy people and figured I could learn the secret to success.

I flew to Ohio, and that evening, we were sitting around the dinner table—him, his wife, and I—discussing various projects he was working on, my goals, and marketing ideas. Toward the end of dinner, I asked him the question I had been preparing all week. It sounds funny now, but I was genuinely curious: “How do you make a million dollars?” Coming from where I came from, the thought of being a millionaire in the early 2000s was the equivalent of being a billionaire today.

I’ll never forget his response. He put his glass of wine down and said, “It’s actually quite simple.” Before he proceeded, my mind raced with all the things I was going to do with the millions I was about to make after learning the "secret to success!"

He continued by asking, “Do you know how to make a $1 profit?” I replied, “Yeah, anyone can make a dollar.” He said, “Make a dollar and repeat the process a million times, and you’re a millionaire.”

At the time, I felt deflated. Like, duh, I can just make a million dollars one dollar at a time, but I wanted to get rich quick. Looking back, that was his point. We live in a society where we want it now, we want it fast, and we want it easy.

Anything of real value—whether that’s money, relationships, or legacy—aren’t built overnight. They aren’t built easily; they are built day after day, dollar by dollar. They are built to last, and lasting things aren’t built quickly.

Embrace the journey. Build on the day. You have the plan. Go get it.

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