05/18/2026
POV: you finally grow a beautiful tomato after fighting heat, drought, bugs, fungal roulette, and emotional damage… just to discover some striped freeloading caterpillar moved into it before you did. 🍅
Sir.
You do not pay this mortgage.
Every gardener eventually reaches the stage where they’re outside at dusk in pajamas, holding a half-rotten tomato like a crime scene investigator whispering:
“Show yourself, coward.”
The chickens are about to receive a protein-rich blessing.
