AUDIOSIEGE

AUDIOSIEGE Independent audio mastering in Portland, OR by Brad Boatright. https://linktr.ee/audiosiege Partial Discography:
http://www.audiosiege.com/Credits.html
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Audiosiege Engineering is an independent audio and music production studio located in the heart of the Portland, Oregon independent music scene. We offer professional mastering and production to recording artists worldwide. With roots that extend deep into the Hardcore, Punk, Metal, and Alternative music scenes, Audiosiege employs a perfect combination of experience, skill, and knowledge with the

finest in both analog and digital audio processing. We've worked on records by Sleep, High on Fire, Modern Life is War, Nails, Sarabante, Noothgrush, OFF!, Integrity, All Pigs Must Die, and many more.

Here’s one of the latest projects: quadratic residue diffusers, built from IKEA bed slats that I’ve found in free piles ...
08/15/2023

Here’s one of the latest projects: quadratic residue diffusers, built from IKEA bed slats that I’ve found in free piles over the last couple of months. This one isn’t done yet, and the frame is just storage for them right now, as I figure out the most efficient way to space the wells, but I think it’s gonna work!

I’ve made my opinions on “free samples” known before, although I’m always willing to negotiate ways to do them. Usually ...
08/07/2023

I’ve made my opinions on “free samples” known before, although I’m always willing to negotiate ways to do them. Usually my only requests are that I’m allowed revisions and communication is good. That being said, August is usually a slower month, for several reasons, and I’m offering them until the 31st. Use the promo code “SAMPLE823” when booking a single song through the website, and you won’t be charged. Please keep in mind this is only for mastering samples, and they will contain short bits of silence. Regular singles will still be charged the normal rate. Thanks everyone!

This one y’all. This one is it. Please read my long-winded take on it in the photos, since it was too long for the capti...
08/06/2023

This one y’all. This one is it. Please read my long-winded take on it in the photos, since it was too long for the caption.

Hey everyone… MeldaProduction is giving away my favorite dynamic EQ right now for free, so you should hope on it, and de...
07/06/2023

Hey everyone… MeldaProduction is giving away my favorite dynamic EQ right now for free, so you should hope on it, and demo some of their other amazing plugins while you’re at it.

Yeah…
07/02/2023

Yeah…

Two more Aphex Dominators are here for the Magic Death Eye mod and other upgrades. As a few people have asked me about d...
06/24/2023

Two more Aphex Dominators are here for the Magic Death Eye mod and other upgrades. As a few people have asked me about doing this mod, I’m offering the service on a limited basis, so please get in touch via email. The last slide is the THD (total harmonic distortion) of the most recent one that I modded (it’s clean!). Also, the EQ on these units is underrated.

Ten years ago/ten years later… today marks a decade in the same space!
06/20/2023

Ten years ago/ten years later… today marks a decade in the same space!

Another Aphex Dominator II ready for action with the Magic Death Eye mod. This one was enjoyable, as it was a newer mode...
06/16/2023

Another Aphex Dominator II ready for action with the Magic Death Eye mod. This one was enjoyable, as it was a newer model and already in great shape. As expected, it sounds awesome.

I really love using dynamic EQ, especially for low bass swells that crowd bandwidth, since it’s effective at controlling...
06/02/2023

I really love using dynamic EQ, especially for low bass swells that crowd bandwidth, since it’s effective at controlling low end without static cuts or compression. That being said, my long time go-to dynamic EQ has recently been unseated by MeldaProduction’s MDynamicEq. I’ve used a lot of dynamic EQs over the years, but every single one of them left me wishing there was more control. I usually prefer simpler interfaces, but this is different. In the past, I’ve wanted more than a single band, or narrower Qs, or more precise detection and reduction limits. With MDynamicEq, I’ve finally found it. It’s really deep (it even has a really good sounding saturation option!), but just great overall. In the presets folder (link in bio) you’ll find one that I made to control note-specific frequencies that are commonly problematic in the low end. Have fun, and thanks to MeldaProduction!

Apple Music is now spotlighting people on the technical side of music making, and I’m proud to have been added to the gr...
05/19/2023

Apple Music is now spotlighting people on the technical side of music making, and I’m proud to have been added to the growing pool of playlists. As music streaming overshadows experiences like reading liner notes, this is a welcome step forward, and I hope that music fans can use these rabbit holes to seek out and find the people behind their favorite sounding records.

I also really had a hard time keeping this under six hours…

Playlist · 88 Songs

More fun with cheap transformers. Here are some graphs I measured recently of the Triad TY-250P and TY-145P, both in var...
05/12/2023

More fun with cheap transformers. Here are some graphs I measured recently of the Triad TY-250P and TY-145P, both in various configurations. The last slide is a graph of tape machine frequency responses from the internet. The goal here isn’t necessarily to mimic a tape machine, but to use magnetics and passive circuitry to get close to what they do to harmonic content and EQ curves.

For those of you looking for inexpensive analog saturation, the Triad Magnetics TY-250P is a good way to go. Even the ch...
05/10/2023

For those of you looking for inexpensive analog saturation, the Triad Magnetics TY-250P is a good way to go. Even the cheap, generic transformers in slide 3 can have a place when driven with the proper material, load and impedance (I wouldn’t use them for mastering, though). The Triads actually offer a pleasing sound, not far from what one would expect from tape, in the way that they help glue things together. Mouser has ‘em for about $6 right now, so buy a few and experiment!

The MODINATOR II
05/03/2023

The MODINATOR II

Like many other mastering engineers, my workflow is built around having a limiter at the very end of my chain, typically...
05/01/2023

Like many other mastering engineers, my workflow is built around having a limiter at the very end of my chain, typically doing very little other than keeping transients from clipping and making up the gain from the AD conversion (I almost always have the limiter inserted directly after the capture). I start with the limiter in place, and approach it with the idea in mind that if I can hear it working, I need to change some things around-usually my gain staging. So, very rarely does audio get to this final stage needing much adjustment. Having said that, I’ve found an amazing limiter that makes it fun to leave room for adding one last stage of EQ or saturation, in addition to the protection of the ceiling. MasterMind from Sound Device Digital/United Plugins is awesome… the shelving EQ sounds great, and the Optimizer feature is useful for bringing out some midrange focus and shimmer. There’s a link to the preset folder in my bio. Have fun, and thanks to for the killer tools.

I’ve frequently used subharmonic processors as a cool way to fill out low end. The feature set on MeldaProduction’s MBas...
04/20/2023

I’ve frequently used subharmonic processors as a cool way to fill out low end. The feature set on MeldaProduction’s MBassador makes it the new champ. The ability to target low end with frequency-specific saturation is awesome. You can be subtle with it, barely audible until you hit the bypass, then immediately miss how the bottom end got filled out so nicely. Or, you can can use it as an effect for rumbling destruction. Here’s my “Hot Iron” preset, which adds just a touch of sub blend with a good dose of saturation.

I’m now proudly endorsing plugins from UnitedPlugins and MeldaProduction!So here’s a preset for the awesome FrontDAW, wh...
04/18/2023

I’m now proudly endorsing plugins from UnitedPlugins and MeldaProduction!So here’s a preset for the awesome FrontDAW, which is one of the simplest, best sounding plugins I’ve used for subtle saturation. In fact, it’s so close to a piece of hardware I have that I’ve used it in place of it, right before my analog stage, a few times now with great results. In the preset folder (link in bio), you’ll find a folder called “United Plugins FrontDAW”, where you can download the preset file. Or just copy the settings from the last slide. This thing rules, and I’ll be sharing more soon. Massive thanks to and for bringing me onboard!

Wow. I wasn’t expecting this. Here’s the frequency graph of the Aphex Dominator II with the Magic Death Eye mod (and a w...
04/17/2023

Wow. I wasn’t expecting this. Here’s the frequency graph of the Aphex Dominator II with the Magic Death Eye mod (and a whole bunch of deoxit). In actual use, it’s transparent and works so much better than stock.

Dusting off the LEGO Studio this morning.
04/15/2023

Dusting off the LEGO Studio this morning.

04/10/2023
I only recently discovered United Plugins, and had not tried any of their offerings until yesterday. Since Firepresser, ...
04/06/2023

I only recently discovered United Plugins, and had not tried any of their offerings until yesterday. Since Firepresser, their unique (and quite useful) compressor is being offered for free right now, I figured I’d try it out. To my pleasant surprise, I really liked the Vari Mu model, as well as the saturation. Something about it just worked really well with the session I tried it on, and I’m picky with Vari Mu style compressor models. I doubt I’ll use the DBX, Distressor and 1176 modules, since they’re traditionally geared more towards mixing and tracking, but who knows? In the link in bio, you’ll find a link to the Dropbox folder in which I have presets saved, and I’ve added one for this one now, which uses only the Vari Mu model, a hefty chunk of saturation, and blends it in parallel with the dry signal. I call it “Liquid Nails”, and it’ll be my starting point. If you can’t access or use the preset file, slide 3 has the values displayed. I recommend trying it while they’re still offering it for free, and, as always… Have fun!

Congratulations to my friend Jesse Payne on being featured on Bandcamp’s best country music for March! I’m really proud ...
04/04/2023

Congratulations to my friend Jesse Payne on being featured on Bandcamp’s best country music for March! I’m really proud to have mastered this one (it ain’t always heavy around here).

Our monthly round-up of folk, bluegrass, roots rock, Americana, and all things country-ish.

The passive clipper works, and it works very nicely! I’m surprised at the range of saturation as well. Next up, a diode ...
03/17/2023

The passive clipper works, and it works very nicely! I’m surprised at the range of saturation as well. Next up, a diode selector switch, and selectable transformer saturation. No power supply needed… this circuit is based on Ethan Winer’s completely passive Mojo Maestro.

A modern classic. My  Massive Passive EQ transforms signal into a beautiful bloom of harmonics, and gives guitars in a f...
03/12/2023

A modern classic. My Massive Passive EQ transforms signal into a beautiful bloom of harmonics, and gives guitars in a full mix an incomparable midrange growl. The thing I love the most about it, though, is the fact that, after almost nine years of owning it and using it daily (with a replacement of the stock tubes with NOS GE 5814As), I still feel like I only know half of what it can do. The bands interact in such a way that new curves are constantly being discovered, and that high ceiling is something that, in my opinion, gives gear longevity. Even swapping between the balanced and unbalanced outputs can make a difference, especially with the way it interfaces with other pieces of analog gear. Circuits can be modeled and sampled, but the infinite possibilities of what happens in the connections of equipment-the interplay of impedances, the chorus of electrons, and the space between pieces of gear-is something quite unique.

This was a lot of work, involving techniques way beyond what would would be considered standard mastering, but I feel so...
03/04/2023

This was a lot of work, involving techniques way beyond what would would be considered standard mastering, but I feel so proud of it. Huge thanks to for sending me a copy, and did a stellar job on the layout. It was a Manic Ride indeed.

03/02/2023

In an era that is designed to beat down and weaken the individual, ‘Black Flame Eternal’ is an album that represents strength, empowerment, and total opposit...

In a room with no windows, sky blue is nice. Here’s the work I’ve done so far on the faceplate for my attenuator bank. N...
03/02/2023

In a room with no windows, sky blue is nice. Here’s the work I’ve done so far on the faceplate for my attenuator bank. Next, I’ll need to cut the top and bottom panels can fit inside the chassis, rather than outside, which makes it cramped in a loaded rack. Then it’s just wiring the attenuators back to the XLR jacks on the back. One cool thing about this piece is the potential for expansion, since there’s so much room in it. I’m thinking of adding some fun, switchable saturation sections. With the attenuators before transformers or a diode clipping circuit, it’ll be a lot more fun than just using seventy year old tanks of resistors to simply turn things down.

02/27/2023
02/17/2023
I love weird, forgotten pieces of hardware, especially ones like this TecNec One-2-Punch, which I scored for ten bucks. ...
02/04/2023

I love weird, forgotten pieces of hardware, especially ones like this TecNec One-2-Punch, which I scored for ten bucks. Originally marketed for video editing, these things have enough XLR inputs and outputs to make them a very usable A/B box. The kicker though is that the switching is all relay-based, with a completely passive signal path. Look at all the relays inside this thing! Of course, I’m curious if the BNC connectors can be swapped out for 1/4” or XLR jacks, making it even more versatile.

This’ll make recall easier. Swapping out the linear potentiometers in the Rocksonics MB-3X compressor for stepped Grayhi...
02/03/2023

This’ll make recall easier. Swapping out the linear potentiometers in the Rocksonics MB-3X compressor for stepped Grayhill rotary switches with tasty red Tektronix k***s.

Here’s a great trick I use for aligning the curves of two analog equalizers in Plugin Doctor. Take a screen shot of one ...
02/03/2023

Here’s a great trick I use for aligning the curves of two analog equalizers in Plugin Doctor. Take a screen shot of one EQ, then another of the second, and use a photo editing program to colorize each one. Then, with different blending modes, you can see the two curves on one chart (or the difference, as displayed on the last slide). It’s not as time-consuming as it sounds, once you get the hang of it, and there are plenty of mobile photo editing apps that can be used.

I must admit, it makes me quite giddy when I get asked to do things like automate creative filters and distortion.
01/27/2023

I must admit, it makes me quite giddy when I get asked to do things like automate creative filters and distortion.

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: one thousand eight hundred technical/mastering credits.
01/20/2023

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: one thousand eight hundred technical/mastering credits.

Is there a direct correlation between simplicity and longevity? I think it’s more complicated than that, but the Brainwo...
01/18/2023

Is there a direct correlation between simplicity and longevity? I think it’s more complicated than that, but the Brainworx bx_dynEQ Dynamic Equalizer has been around since 2011 or so, and I’ve probably used it more than any other plugin that I own. While my usage of it is pretty basic, it can still be a versatile tool with sidechaining and mid/side capabilities. There’s only one band, but you can always load more instances of it into the session if you need them. Something about the bandwidth/Q of this one really beats out the other dynamic EQs I’ve tried, and that says a lot. In the preset folder (link in bio) you’ll find this one, which I use for low E swells on the bass when they need to be tamed a bit. Also, learn the fundamental frequencies and it’ll speed up your workflow. Have fun!

When there’s an audible attack from a mix buss compressor at the start of a song, here’s how I handle it.
01/12/2023

When there’s an audible attack from a mix buss compressor at the start of a song, here’s how I handle it.

For years, I’ve searched for an input transformer for the White Instruments 4100A EQ, and I finally acquired one. This i...
01/11/2023

For years, I’ve searched for an input transformer for the White Instruments 4100A EQ, and I finally acquired one. This inductor-based EQ is one of those gems that can still be found for the price of a plugin, and with new opamps and other small mods, they sound fantastic. For workflow and efficiency, I keep mine on an insert next to the Manley Massive Passive (another inductor EQ), and will sometimes switch between them to see which one works best for the music. It’s not a rare occurrence for the 4100A to win out, although recall can be a pain in the butt with ten bands on each channel. As can be expected, with the input transformer in place and the EQ calibrated, the low end is much more wooly and tape-like. The EQ in the photo above is my spare, loaded with an output transformer and the opamp upgrades. I’m considering selling that one, so if you might be interested, feel free to message me.

With mid/side (M/S, sum/difference) processing, where a stereo signal is split into center (mono) and side (stereo) comp...
01/10/2023

With mid/side (M/S, sum/difference) processing, where a stereo signal is split into center (mono) and side (stereo) components, there can be as many pitfalls as there are benefits. One benefit of M/S is in the analog realm, where slight stereo imbalances in equipment like equalizers can be mitigated. I use an analog M/S matrix for this, but it can also be done in the digital realm with a hybrid digital/analog setup. That being said, one of the aforementioned pitfalls with a digital matrix, prior to the pitch, is the differential in channel volumes prior to DA conversion (slide 1), since mid/side encoding still outputs a stereo signal to a converter, which still sees this as a stereo signal. A simple fix for this is offsetting the volumes on both the encoder and decoder, as seen in the photos above, so that the analog stereo signal is fairly even. In this case, we’ve used Voxengo’s free MSED plugin before and after the analog chain, shifting the center channel down 4 dB, and the side channel up 4 dB, then doing the reverse after capture (slide 2). The gain values in this case are just for example purposes, but you can see the difference in the converter meters with and without this approach (slides 3 and 4). And, as with anything audio, sometimes you may prefer the level differential. This is, basically, an easy way to have stereo channels get the same level. Have fun!

Trash fans! Izotope’s Trash plugin is, oddly, an under the radar piece for what it is and can do. I’ve made a few preset...
01/04/2023

Trash fans! Izotope’s Trash plugin is, oddly, an under the radar piece for what it is and can do. I’ve made a few presets, based on hardware units I own, using impulse responses and then fine-tuning the harmonics and EQ curves by ear and eye. In the link in bio, you’ll find the preset folder with an “Izotope Trash 2” sub folder, which contains four xml presets that can be imported: “4100A” (based on my White Instruments 4100A EQ, with a bit of a smile curve to it), “Silver Bullet A-N” and “Silver Bullet N-A” (both based on the Louder Than Liftoff Silver Bullet, with the EQ off and the two tone amps cascaded in the respective orders), and “Kultube” (based on the SPL Kultube Stereo Compressor, with tube drive at 10%, and an additional dynamics setting in Trash for light soft-knee compression. As always, have fun!

First day of work in the new year. Let’s have a radical ‘23.
01/02/2023

First day of work in the new year. Let’s have a radical ‘23.

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15 SE 15th Avenue
Portland, OR
97214

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SMOTHER is out everywhere.
https://bit.ly/3sV9jpq

Recorded by Tobias Munk Tønder at Angry Music Studios
Mixed by Jacob Bredahl at Dead Rat Studio
Mastered by Brad Boatright at AUDIOSIEGE

Photography by Tom Borup James
Artwork by Victor Kaas
Visualiser by Kabdebó Tamás
🔥 SERVANTS OF VIOLENCE IS OUT NOW 🔥

To coincide with the release of our debut album, we are pleased to reveal our third single EDGE OF COLLAPSE. Thematically, the song confronts the stark reality of climate change and the ruinous path humanity is being forced down by the inaction of corporations and governments.

Music video recorded & edited by Timfy James at Old School Studios.

Track recorded by Stu McKay at Studio 6, UK.
Mastered by Brad Boatright at AUDIOSIEGE.

1st song off the next album is out today🖤

✖️On and On✖️
written by me
co-produced by Ian Blurton and myself
mastered by Brad Boatright AUDIOSIEGE

vox, synth, bass, rhythm guitar: me
lead guitars, mix + engineer: Ian Blurton
drums: Stephan Szczesniak

recorded at ProGold✨
Hypnotic Dirge Records is looking forward to releasing the new Norilsk EP, Beyond the Mountains, on May 13. The release will include an original song as well as a cover, both recorded at Wolf Lake Studios , and mixed by Mike Bond at the Bond Cave, with additional mastering by Brad Boatright at AUDIOSIEGE .

When Netherlands' melodic doom-death godfathers Officium Triste celebrated their 25th anniversary in 2019, they invited a number of artists around the world to participate in a tribute album, where Norilsk contributed with opening track ‘Intro Officum Triste (Pt II) / Mountains of Depressiveness.’ With its desolate coldness and relative austerity, the cover song and its lyrics represent the stripped-down essence of the genre, which remains as relevant 25 years later.

‘Beyond the Horizon’ was composed in the spirit of the 90’s classic doom-death bands, and recorded during the same session. The song is about the Inuit High Arctic Relocations in Canada, a mid-20th Century tragic event that occurred when Canadian authorities forced a number of northern communities to relocate in the High Arctic, a ‘place of darkness,’ and deliberately slaughtered their sled dogs. This
displacement had deep impact on the Inuit traditional way of living, and still has ongoing consequences in northern communities today.

Beyond the Mountains will be released digitally on HDR and Norilsk bandcamp pages, and on all streaming platforms on May 13, 2022.

Pre-orders can be placed at the following links: https://hypnoticdirgerecords.bandcamp.com/album/beyond-the-mountains
NEW RELEASE ANNOUNCEMENT!

Trepanation Recordings are absolutely delighted to announce that we are working with Manchester’s Fatalist to release their latest EP ‘Ruination’ on limited edition cassette.

Recorded by Joe Clayton at Nø Studio and mastered by Brad Boatright at AUDIOSIEGE, this is definitely one amazing sounding release and you can grab your copy here: https://trepanationrecordings.bandcamp.com/album/ruination

Cassettes are limited to 50 copies and are expected to ship around 17th June.

‘Ruination builds on the band's sound whilst managing to retain the key elements that were established on their debut.

The EP captures the ferocious intensity of the bands live show however, unavoidable time away from the gigging circuit has allowed the band to explore different dynamics taking inspiration from all areas of punk, hardcore and beyond. The band refuse to shy away from the topics that shape their ethos and remain against racism, sexism, homophobia and animal cruelty.’
Still hot!

Schrottet euch eure Gehörgänge bitte komplett!
👉 https://youtu.be/7np_duCpLtQ

🔥⚰️🔥

Backbite Records
Lower Class Kids Records
Santa Diabla / DIY HC
Crawling Chaos
Monster Alphabet
Hagiophobic
AUDIOSIEGE
Liquid Aether Audio
New Video out now!

Wir hauen euch heute den ersten Song unserer neuen Platte "Erasing Life" um die Ohren! Der gute hört auf den Titel "6 Hansa, 2 Kurze" und der Name ist Programm!

Zieht euch das Ding rein! Mehr Infos zur neuen Platte gibts in den kommenden Tagen!

Riesiges Dankeschön an Felix für die Umsetzung des Videos! Du bist der Beste! Checkt unbedingt seinen Twitch-Channel:
https://m.twitch.tv/rubrumble/about

Hier geht jetzt zum Video:
https://youtu.be/7np_duCpLtQ

Viel Spaß damit!
Teilt das Ding gerne! ❤️

🔥⚰️🔥

Tausend Dank für den ganzen Support auch an:
Lower Class Kids Records
Backbite Records
Crawling Chaos
Santa Diabla / DIY HC
AUDIOSIEGE
Liquid Aether Audio
Hagiophobic
Monster Alphabet
AWAY FROM LIFE
prettyinnoise.de
Transcended Music Blog
We are pleased to reveal to you the second single "Doomsday Prophecy", taken from our debut album, Servants of Violence which is set for release on May 20th.

Music video recorded & edited by Timfy James (Old School Studios) at The Craufurd Arms (Live Music Venue).

Doomsday Prophecy recorded by Stu McKay at Studio 6, UK.
Mastered by Brad Boatright at AUDIOSIEGE.

"Full Blown Satanic Assault" album out 5.10.22. Here's a sneak peak of the recording process with Andy at Bricktop Recording in Chicago, IL for the song "Drive". Mastered by AUDIOSIEGE.
TEASER-TIME!

Wir hauen euch nächste Woche Sonntag ein neues Video um die Ohren!
"6 Hansa, 2 Kurze" vom kommenden Album! Mehr Infos gibts in Kürze! Bleibt dran!
Jetzt tut's Basti gleich und stellt euch einen rein!

🔥⚰️🔥

Santa Diabla / DIY HC
Backbite Records
Lower Class Kids Records
Crawling Chaos
AUDIOSIEGE
Liquid Aether Audio
Announcing our new album ‘KEEP YOU WARM’. Available for pre-order through Reason and Rage Records 🔥
Our first single ‘The Hammer’ is streaming now on bandcamp and will be on all other digital platforms tomorrow to pre-save. Limited recycled ash or black vinyl LP + Tee + Pin bundles available.
https://linktr.ee/outrighthc

Recorded and mixed by Sam Johnson on Wurundjeri land at Holes and Corners - Recording Studio
Mastered by AUDIOSIEGE
Original cover mono-print painting with ashes, gesso and ink on hand marbled paper by Faith Coloccia
Insert, layout, design and merch by Annie Walter Design
TW: abuse //
These first photos were taken at Sound Emporium here in Nashville, on November 30, 2019. I spent the whole day tracking guitars for an EP called Hold On To Yourself by my band Friendship Commanders. It was a good—if long—session, and I was the only one in the hot seat that day. I remember that being somewhat intense. I sang the whole record the next day and then it was sent off to be mixed by Ballou. It was a whirlwind.

I wrote Hold On To Yourself about being an adult survivor of childhood abuse; about how it colors everything in my life, from my relationships, to how I feel in my own skin, to how I sleep (or don’t) at night. We know more now about how early abuse impacts a person than we did when I was growing up. We know now that it changes the DNA, the very wiring of a person’s makeup. When I was younger, this was not honored. In fact, it was erased for me and a lot of other people who survived. For me, that did more damage than much of the abuse itself.

I wrote the record because these truths live inside of me, and also because I’d never heard a body of work about it. There were songs about other types of violations, but I needed work to exist about this; not only what happened, but what’s true for me now, how I move through the world today. I think our society tends to treat childhood abuse as something that occurred in one’s past, but what’s true, is that many people live with the effects forever. I do. And I also still navigate the family systems that allowed my abuses in the first place. I share this to be visible, so that other survivors can see and hear me and know there’s at least one more person who gets it.

The title is a phrase I write down every day, to remind myself. I don’t need to be told I can do hard things; I already know that. I need to be told not to abandon myself—and I need to be told by my own self. With care.

I have never been more proud of anything than I am this record. I celebrate its existence and thank all who laid hands on it: my amazing bandmate Jerry Roe, as well as Kurt Ballou, AUDIOSIEGE, & Zaq Reynolds. It has been in the world for 2 years today. Thanks for listening.

#}