Settling Is Bullsht

Settling Is Bullsht Sweary life and relationship advice for humans trying to get better at adulting. Make brave choices. Claim your joy!

We'll talk about all the good sh*t that helps us show up for ourselves and each other just a little bit better every day.

You know what fuels patriarchy and capitalism? The “what’s in it for me” mindset. You know what nourishes our souls and ...
04/20/2026

You know what fuels patriarchy and capitalism? The “what’s in it for me” mindset. You know what nourishes our souls and creates a sense of community, connection, and care (especially during difficult times)? Shifting into the mindset of being a contribution.

Whether we call it being of service, sharing our gifts, or leaving things better than we found them – adopting a mentality of giving what we have to offer on a daily basis boosts our sense of happiness and well being. Changing the world (with a lowercase w) happens through simple acts of kindness and care between two people.

So, if you need a little dose of hope and encouragement that you can make a difference today, this episode is for you.

Most of us with ADHD have had a lot of pivots in our lives – a lot of "this is going to be the thing!!" that then ends u...
04/06/2026

Most of us with ADHD have had a lot of pivots in our lives – a lot of "this is going to be the thing!!" that then ends up not being the thing after all. And it can be devastating and painful to have to change course when we've invested so much into who we thought we were supposed to be. But it's not something we *have* to be ashamed of.

In this episode, .tthernandez and I share our experiences with the various forced pivots (the deaths, the breakups, the failures) that life has sent our way, as well as the more subtle nudged pivots we've been invited to step into – and the ways those pivots have made us the magical, delightful people we are.

When we can teach ourselves to listen and to trust, instead of fighting against our neuro-spicy brains, there is so much hope and self-acceptance on the other side.

Living with ADHD in a neurotypical world is hard. It just is. But we don’t have to lose ourselves in shame and self-loat...
04/02/2026

Living with ADHD in a neurotypical world is hard. It just is. But we don’t have to lose ourselves in shame and self-loathing when we can’t contort ourselves into the shapes society wants for us.

In this conversation with TT Hernandez .tthernandez artist of the series and trauma-informed coach for creative minds, we share about our journeys as late-in-life diagnosed ADHDers and how we found our way out of shame and burnout and into self-compassion and self-care.

A huge part of that process was un-shaming the ways that our quirky and magical ADHD brains operate and learning to embrace the inevitable life pivots that the universe throws at us… ideally learning to listen to the gentle nudges before getting hit upside the head with a two-by-four (or an actual softball, as was the case for TT!)

Available anywhere you listen to podcasts

Living with ADHD in a neurotypical world is hard. It just is. But we don’t have to lose ourselves in shame and self-loat...
04/02/2026

Living with ADHD in a neurotypical world is hard. It just is. But we don’t have to lose ourselves in shame and self-loathing when we can’t contort ourselves into the shapes society wants for us.

In this conversation with TT Hernandez, artist and trauma-informed coach for creative minds, we share about our journeys as late-in-life diagnosed ADHDers and how we found our way out of shame and burnout and into self-compassion and self-care.

A huge part of that process was un-shaming the ways that our quirky and magical ADHD brains operate and learning to embrace the inevitable life pivots that the universe throws at us… ideally learning to listen to the gentle nudges before getting hit upside the head with a two-by-four (or an actual softball, as was the case for TT!)

https://settlingisbulls**t.com/2026/04/02/adhd-and-un-shaming-our-life-pivots-with-tt-hernandez/

In this episode, I talk about the messy middle of creative projects - specifically the point of despair I hit on my firs...
03/31/2026

In this episode, I talk about the messy middle of creative projects - specifically the point of despair I hit on my first attempt at a self portrait (scroll to image 4 to see it!). It's not a comfortable place to be, and it's all too easy to say f*ck it and throw in the towel. But I've come to see how the messy middle is just a part of the creative process (one that is unfortunately almost inevitable). And if I can ride the wave instead of drowning in it, I can get to the other side. And I can get back up and try again, a bit more skillfully the next time.

This is true for any new skill we're trying to learn. We aren't likely to master it on our first attempt. So there's a lot of opportunity for self-compassion in the process of muddling our way through.

This episode actually came out a couple weeks ago, but I have not been on top of my social media *at all* 😬 however! It'...
03/30/2026

This episode actually came out a couple weeks ago, but I have not been on top of my social media *at all* 😬 however! It's a great little pep talk episode if you're struggling with a creative project (or being in a limbo, in-between phase of life). It's a bit of support for getting through the messy middle, for remembering that acceptance, community support, and cultivating hope are all tools you can reach for (even if you don’t feel like it).

Finally sat down to the microphone again – reflecting on love and loss and why it's almost always worth it. This episode...
02/17/2026

Finally sat down to the microphone again – reflecting on love and loss and why it's almost always worth it. This episode touches on what it means to be in relationship – with ourselves and with others (and with the pets that we have to eventually let go). It's an invitation to come home to the love within and to consciously choose to show up in love today – in whatever corner or your life needs it most.

Holy smokes, it's 2026! And I opted to take my own dang advice to get the ball rolling again. So, so happy to have an ep...
01/13/2026

Holy smokes, it's 2026! And I opted to take my own dang advice to get the ball rolling again. So, so happy to have an episode to share with y'all – and a pep talk for any of us who've fallen off the bandwagon of the things we want for ourselves. We can always just pick things back up! No matter how long it's been, no matter how rusty we feel, if it's something you want for yourself, it's still there waiting for you. (You aren't "starting over" you're just starting up again).

https://settlingisbulls**t.com/2026/01/11/whatever-it-is-just-pick-it-back-up-again/

I still exist! But had some very unrealistic expectations about my capacity to keep up with the podcast my first term ba...
11/03/2025

I still exist! But had some very unrealistic expectations about my capacity to keep up with the podcast my first term back in school. So, I recorded an episode about how to deal with the ways that our expectations (of ourselves, of others, of the world!!) tend to f*ck with us. And then it took me another two weeks to actually get it live! 😆🤪

For anyone who hasn't been keeping up – I'm in school again full time, taking prerequisite classes to get into a master's program in art therapy. It's been A LOT. But also, I've been making art! Pictures forthcoming.

https://settlingisbulls**t.com/2025/11/03/unmet-expectations-are-the-theif-of-joy/

Creativity isn’t just for artists. It’s a way of engaging with the world that we all have access to, and which offers a ...
10/01/2025

Creativity isn’t just for artists. It’s a way of engaging with the world that we all have access to, and which offers a playful and engaging pathway toward healing. It’s also a thing that we do with our bodies! That makes it an extra-helpful way to get out of our heads and move through whatever feelings we need to process.

In this conversation with somatic therapist Amanda Melbostad, we explore the magic of accessing our creativity and finding safety in our bodies. We also talk about how to find the right therapist, how to open ourselves up to creative practices, and how freeing it can be to invite our inner critic to take a back seat.

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