Settling Is Bullsht

Settling Is Bullsht Sweary life and relationship advice for humans trying to get better at adulting. Make brave choices. Claim your joy!

We'll talk about all the good sh*t that helps us show up for ourselves and each other just a little bit better every day.

Finally sat down to the microphone again – reflecting on love and loss and why it's almost always worth it. This episode...
02/17/2026

Finally sat down to the microphone again – reflecting on love and loss and why it's almost always worth it. This episode touches on what it means to be in relationship – with ourselves and with others (and with the pets that we have to eventually let go). It's an invitation to come home to the love within and to consciously choose to show up in love today – in whatever corner or your life needs it most.

Holy smokes, it's 2026! And I opted to take my own dang advice to get the ball rolling again. So, so happy to have an ep...
01/13/2026

Holy smokes, it's 2026! And I opted to take my own dang advice to get the ball rolling again. So, so happy to have an episode to share with y'all – and a pep talk for any of us who've fallen off the bandwagon of the things we want for ourselves. We can always just pick things back up! No matter how long it's been, no matter how rusty we feel, if it's something you want for yourself, it's still there waiting for you. (You aren't "starting over" you're just starting up again).

https://settlingisbulls**t.com/2026/01/11/whatever-it-is-just-pick-it-back-up-again/

I still exist! But had some very unrealistic expectations about my capacity to keep up with the podcast my first term ba...
11/03/2025

I still exist! But had some very unrealistic expectations about my capacity to keep up with the podcast my first term back in school. So, I recorded an episode about how to deal with the ways that our expectations (of ourselves, of others, of the world!!) tend to f*ck with us. And then it took me another two weeks to actually get it live! 😆🤪

For anyone who hasn't been keeping up – I'm in school again full time, taking prerequisite classes to get into a master's program in art therapy. It's been A LOT. But also, I've been making art! Pictures forthcoming.

https://settlingisbulls**t.com/2025/11/03/unmet-expectations-are-the-theif-of-joy/

Creativity isn’t just for artists. It’s a way of engaging with the world that we all have access to, and which offers a ...
10/01/2025

Creativity isn’t just for artists. It’s a way of engaging with the world that we all have access to, and which offers a playful and engaging pathway toward healing. It’s also a thing that we do with our bodies! That makes it an extra-helpful way to get out of our heads and move through whatever feelings we need to process.

In this conversation with somatic therapist Amanda Melbostad, we explore the magic of accessing our creativity and finding safety in our bodies. We also talk about how to find the right therapist, how to open ourselves up to creative practices, and how freeing it can be to invite our inner critic to take a back seat.

First day of school. Age 42. Grade… 26th? Pretty stoked, even if it’s also a somewhat bizarre experience to be reading s...
09/22/2025

First day of school. Age 42. Grade… 26th? Pretty stoked, even if it’s also a somewhat bizarre experience to be reading someone else’s syllabus again.

Dating is hard. Full stop. And if we want to find ourselves a partner in this wacky world of online dating and modern ro...
09/19/2025

Dating is hard. Full stop. And if we want to find ourselves a partner in this wacky world of online dating and modern romance, it means opening ourselves up to rejection (unfortunately). But love is worth it. And navigating dating and rejection with self-compassion and self-care means choosing to lean into hope.

This week's episode is the pep talk you may need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. It's a reminder that the universe isn't f*cking with you, and that when things don't work out, we get to choose to believe that it's ultimately for our own good.

Available anywhere you listen to podcasts!
https://settlingisbulls**t.com/2025/09/18/navigating-dating-and-rejection-cultivating-resilience/

It ain’t easy to step off the beaten path or to swim ashore from the river of what everyone else is doing. But conscious...
09/04/2025

It ain’t easy to step off the beaten path or to swim ashore from the river of what everyone else is doing. But consciously choosing to opt out of hustle culture and the grind of unrealistic expectations isn’t impossible! It’s hard, for sure. It’s also hella worth it.

In this conversation with Matthew Smith, founder of Wimp Decaf and multi-passionate entrepreneur, we talk about his journey of stepping off the hustle treadmill and onto the path of living the life he actually wants.

The conversation is also about our mutual journeys of sobriety and spirituality, the playfulness of accepting life as it is, learning what it’s like to have a regulated nervous system, defining what matters to us, and the liberation of getting to choose what counts as enough.

While it’s a pithy and seemingly obvious statement, the fact remains that: if nothing changes, nothing changes. In other...
08/28/2025

While it’s a pithy and seemingly obvious statement, the fact remains that: if nothing changes, nothing changes. In other words, if we want things to be different, we have to start doing things differently. This counts for dating, career change, healthy habits, sobriety – any time we want things to be better, easier, or more awesome, it’s pretty unlikely to just happen on its own.

So this episode is a pep talk for change and an opportunity for self-compassion around all the ways and reasons that change is hard!

Available anywhere you listen to podcasts.

When was the last time you deeply felt your relationship to the world around you? To the land, to the plants, to the way...
08/21/2025

When was the last time you deeply felt your relationship to the world around you? To the land, to the plants, to the ways in which everything is interconnected?

In this philosophical and exploratory conversation with Karma Maymi the steward of Clary Sage Herbarium in Portland, Oregon, we discuss the concept of stewardship and what it means to be in relationship with our surroundings. Our discussion delves into the complexities of ownership, the role of conditioning in our lives, and the importance of patience and deep presence in how we show up in our communities.

This episode is an invitation to contemplate the interconnectedness of nature and our human experience, inviting listeners to recognize how beautifully devoted we all are, even when we inevitably fall short of our aspirations and expectations.

Available anywhere you listen to podcasts! Links in bio.

If we’re walking around the world believing that some people have innate talents for drawing, singing, sports-balling, o...
08/16/2025

If we’re walking around the world believing that some people have innate talents for drawing, singing, sports-balling, or whatever, and that we do not possess those innate talents, then we hold ourselves back from even trying. Those people have the talent and we don’t, so why bother?

This is fixed mindset in action, and by and large, it's bulls**t. It keeps us small and frustrated. It’s one of the many ways keeps us on the hook, and it shuts us down from learning.

Growth mindset is the magic sauce. It offers us the sense of hope and possibility that is necessary for making in our lives.

Read the post at SettlingIsBulls**t.com or listen to the episode anywhere you listen to podcasts!

https://settlingisbulls**t.com/2025/08/13/the-insidious-grip-of-a-fixed-mindset/

So many of us spend so much of our lives keeping our dreams locked up because we don’t believe we’re capable of making t...
08/13/2025

So many of us spend so much of our lives keeping our dreams locked up because we don’t believe we’re capable of making them a reality. That mean, inner critical voice tells us that’s the kind of that happens for other people but not for us. Or, that it’s something other people are good at but that we, for whatever reason, couldn’t possibly make happen.

Except waaaaaaay too often, we tell ourselves s**tty stories. We tell ourselves we aren’t capable. We forget that those ideas about what we can and can’t do are just a bunch of stories that we made up at some point to keep ourselves safe (and usually pretty small).

That's the s**t show of fixed mindset. I keeps us stuck and trapped and closed off from the things we want for ourselves.

Read the post at SettlingIsBulls**t.com or listen to the episode anywhere you listen to podcasts!

https://settlingisbulls**t.com/2025/08/13/the-insidious-grip-of-a-fixed-mindset/

Figuring out what we want to do with our lives (or what we're "supposed" to do with them) can feel like a monumental and...
08/11/2025

Figuring out what we want to do with our lives (or what we're "supposed" to do with them) can feel like a monumental and deeply overwhelming task. And maybe it's not as hard as we often make it out to be?

We're all a big mishmash of different desires, interests, and skills. So it doesn't really make all that much sense to expect ourselves to find ONE THING that brings it all together for us.

Embracing a side quest approach to life seems like a lot more fun and a lot more likely to yield surprises along the way.

Listen to my conversation with as we talk about her and letting go of – anywhere you listen to podcasts!

https://settlingisbulls**t.com/2025/08/08/embracing-imperfection-and-the-nonlinear-path-with-carrie-andersen-phd/

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Portland, OR

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https://settlingisbullshit.substack.com/

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