Midlife Musings

08/10/2026

Some days, romancing your own life is easy…

And some days… you have to grit your teeth, squint your eyes a little, and really search for it.

Today is one of those days.

Because the truth is, some days just feel heavy. And no amount of pretty flowers, good coffee, sunshine, or positive thinking magically makes the hard parts just disappear.

But maybe romancing your life was never supposed to mean pretending everything is beautiful.

And maybe that’s something I’m learning more and more in midlife.

Because life doesn’t necessarily get simpler as we get older.
There are still worries, disappointments, family stuff, kids who grow up and bring a whole new kind of worry… and days when your own thoughts feel heavier than usual.

Maybe the difference in midlife is realizing we don’t have to wait for everything to be perfect before we allow ourselves to enjoy what is okay.

On the harder days, sometimes it just means making a little extra effort to remember that the hard things aren’t the only things that exist.

And to not just SEE the good, but actually let yourself FEEL it for a minute.

The warm sun on your skin.
A puppy curled up beside you.
A really good cup of coffee.
Someone making you laugh when you didn’t particularly feel like laughing.
A tiny glimmer in an otherwise crappy day.

It doesn’t fix anything.
It doesn’t erase what feels heavy.
And it definitely doesn’t mean I’ve reached some enlightened stage of midlife where I can magically positive-think my way through everything.
(Although, I wish that were true!)

It just means that today, while I’m carrying around some things that feel heavier- I’m trying not to let them take up every second of my day.

The heavy and the beautiful can and do coexist.

So today, I’m looking a little harder for the glimmers, the sparkles- and the shining that are still there.

And then reminding myself to feel them when I find them.

08/09/2026

Come check out my little page…. 😊

Exploring what midlife can become through honest stories, lessons learned, and the little things that bring joy.
This is not a guidebook, just realness and maybe a little bit of inspiration too.
Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t.

08/09/2026

Romancing Our Sunday Morning. ☕️

This is my favorite… like, my favorite favorite.

Sunday mornings on the porch.

Coffee in hand….
Relaxing on the old porch glider……
Legs, feet, or hands touching…
Puppies curled up with us…..

Together… but doing our own things.

Scrolling. Watching reels. Online shopping. Checking sports scores….etc….

Every so often, one of us turns our screen toward the other…

“How do you like this?”
“Oh my gosh… look at this video!”
“Did you hear about this?”

A neighbor or passerby stops to chat from the sidewalk.

Then we go right back to our own little worlds… together.

And I love it.

It’s connected, but independent.
Intimate and loving.
Quiet, comfortable, soft and playful.

There are so many memes and articles telling us how terrible it is to be on our phones in the presence of the people we love.

And listen… there is absolutely some truth to that.

But sometimes, especially after a busy week and an even busier weekend, this is exactly what we need.

No agenda.
No need to entertain each other.
No pressure to make the morning productive.

Just sitting beside your favorite person, decompressing, drinking your coffee, scrolling through whatever interests you… and occasionally nudging them with your foot because you found something they have to see.

I think one of the best things about midlife is finally realizing that not every piece of preached advice has to apply to you.

You’ve lived enough life to know what works for you.

And more and more, I’m realizing the sweet spot is usually somewhere in the middle.

Yes, put the phones down.

Have the long conversations. Go on the dates. Be completely present with each other.

But also?

Sit on the porch in your pajamas on a Sunday morning, scroll on your phones, let the puppy fall asleep in your lap, and enjoy being so comfortable with another human being that you don’t need to constantly interact to still feel completely connected.

Because sometimes intimacy looks exactly like this. 🥰

And as for me…

So far, this Sunday morning has been everything I want it to be. 💕

Ps… ignore the awkwardly located lamp in the background….  That’s just one of my Estate Sale finds from this weekend that still needs to be taken into the house..

08/06/2026

Keeping in line with my August theme-
I’m romanticizing my time gardening with my husband. 💕❤️

Who else goes out to the garden “just to check on things”… and ends up staying way longer than planned?

That was us tonight.

We didn’t come back with a huge harvest. Just a zucchini, tomatoes, peppers, a fingerling eggplant and a few hot peppers.

But honestly, we probably spent more time looking than picking.

Everywhere we turned, there was another tomato starting to blush, peppers getting bigger by the day, and vines loaded with veggies that just need a few more days. There’s something so exciting about knowing the garden is getting ready to explode- it almost feels like Christmas Eve!

Unless you’ve grown your own food, it’s hard to explain why that makes us so happy.
It isn’t just about what we pick that day. It’s the months of planting, watering, weeding, and waiting… and then watching it all finally come together.

And yes… E was pretty excited to finally pick a few Scorpions and Carolina Reapers. 🌶️ I have a feeling they’re about to make their way into the kitchen. 🔥 🥵

Our gardens still aren’t nearly as big as we’d love them to be, but that’s half the fun. Before this season is even over, we’re already talking about what we want to do differently next year.

For those of you who garden, what’s ready or almost ready in your garden right now?

08/06/2026

It’s only 8pm-

And, I’m already snuggled up in my bed with my husband, our daughter and our doodles…fresh sheets… curtains pulled shut- getting ready to watch a movie.

There is seriously no other place I’d want to be.

This is truly the life.

08/05/2026

You’ve probably seen the phrase “romance your own life” floating around social media lately.

Every time I see it, I try to take it as a gentle reminder.

Not because I don’t love my life… I really do.

But because life has a funny way of pulling our attention toward whatever isn’t going right. The never-ending to-do lists. The worries. The things we’re trying to fix. The dreams we’re still working toward.

Sometimes I just need to remind myself to look back at the life that’s already here.

Years ago, my husband and I dreamed about having a home with a covered front porch. I dreamed about being able to stay home and raise my kids.

Those dreams came true a long time ago and
I’ve spent countless mornings on this porch. Thousands of ordinary days raising my family.

And I truly am grateful for those things.

But every now and then, I catch myself getting so caught up in what’s next that I forget to fully soak in what’s now.

So I’ll sit on the porch with my coffee.
I’ll listen to the birds.
I’ll watch the breeze move through the trees.
The sun peaking through the clouds after the rain…

And, I’ll remember that this ordinary Wednesday is a life I once hoped for. ❤️

Thats what romancing your own life really is.

It’s not about creating a different life.

It’s falling in love again, or staying in love with- the life that you have - the one that once was only a dream. And is now quite literally a dream come true.

04/25/2026

It’s all fun and games until mom thinks that she is going to fly out of the tube!

Memories made with your kids are the MOST important things in life. All of you will carry them in your heart forever… and we’ll always laugh about this one!

Eli Arredondo

04/09/2026

04/09/2026

I noticed I have a new follower Lisa Dieser!
Welcome!
Keep an eye open for new updates while I switch things over from the “whole mom” to my new platforms.

04/04/2026

This is one of those things that sounds simple at first, but once you really sit with it, it explains a lot about how people operate.

What someone notices is not random. It is filtered through their experiences, their insecurities, their priorities, and even what they are used to looking for.

Two people can walk into the exact same room and walk out with completely different takeaways. One might notice how clean everything is, another might notice the one thing out of place. One might focus on how someone made them feel, another might replay a single comment that bothered them. The environment did not change. The lens did.

That lens is built over time.

If someone is used to feeling judged, they will pick up on anything that feels like criticism, even if that was not the intention. If someone is used to being overlooked, they will notice who did or did not acknowledge them. If someone values status, they will immediately clock what someone is wearing, what they drive, or how they present themselves. If someone values connection, they will notice tone, warmth, and body language.

People reveal themselves in what they pay attention to.

It is easy to assume that what we notice is simply what is there. But most of the time, we are not seeing everything. We are seeing what stands out to us personally. That is why misunderstandings happen so easily. One person walks away thinking something was kind, another walks away thinking it was disrespectful, and both are convinced they are right.

They are not reacting to the same thing. They are reacting to their interpretation of it.

This also shows up in how people talk about others. If someone consistently points out negative traits in everyone around them, that tells you something about their internal state. If someone always highlights what is impressive or admirable, that tells you something too. The focus is not just about the outside world. It reflects what is happening internally.

Paying attention to what people notice can tell you more than what they say directly. It gives insight into how they think, what they value, what they are sensitive to, and sometimes what they are avoiding.

It also works as a mirror.

If you start paying attention to your own patterns, what you fixate on, what irritates you, what draws your attention immediately, you start to see your own lens more clearly. And once you see that, you can question it instead of automatically believing it.

Not everything you notice is the full truth. Sometimes it is just the part your mind is trained to see.