08/05/2026
What’s failure to you?
I have been reflecting A LOT about the concept of failing for the past few weeks, after a failed attempt to summit Mount Rainier. And wanted to share some thoughts about it here. 🫶
I’ve been getting out of my comfort zone more and more, exploring new ways to excite my anxious brain, challenging my body, my mind, and spending time where I feel the most alive: the mountains. You get me.
Hiking and climbing have been the biggest channel for all the life traumas and expectations I put on myself. That’s where I am the happiest, fullest, and alive… So when you’re already wired to believe you’re not enough, “failing” can reach somewhere much deeper.
A couple of weekends ago, I went with a group I’m not used to climbing with, to attempt a car to car Rainier summit via the DC route. This would be the biggest accomplishment for me as a climber so far. An ambitious plan: quick summit, back to our cars by early afternoon. Feeling fairly confident, I of course, opted in. To me, saying no is not an option, even when I feel uncomfortable (lesson learned). But my body had another plan. The quick gain in altitude, possible dehydration, and lack of sleep caught up to me, and the feeling of not being safe crept in fast. My gut was telling me to turn back, so I listened.
The mountains are already unpredictable enough on their own… weather, route conditions, your own body, none of it is fully in your control. So the one job we actually have up there is to move through that risk as safely as we can. Every decision matters more than you think. But ultimately, the mountain decides what your climb becomes, not you. And summiting is optional, but getting down safe, is not.
There’s still a lot to accept and learn, but the mountain won’t go anywhere. Failing, not having control… that’s just part of the journey. 🖤