19/12/2025
I’m a non-traditional 3L attending a law school on the East Coast. Previously, I spent about two decades working in a separate but related field, and becoming an attorney has been a long-desired career change for me. My ex and I had our daughter when I was in my late teens, and while I was able to finish my undergraduate degree, I found it incredibly challenging to juggle being a parent and a full-time student, and I opted to postpone all further education until my daughter was an adult and I could devote my full attention to my studies. My daughter and her fiance live in California, where they plan to get married, and recently announced that they’ve set their wedding date for Sunday, July 26, and put a deposit down on their venue. Unfortunately, this falls two days before I’m scheduled to take my state’s bar exam. I was not consulted about the date in advance. I asked if the date could be moved to a different weekend and was told no because it coincides with the availability of a big chunk of her fiancé’s extended family, who are traveling from out of the country, and the venue was already booked for Friday and Saturday that weekend. This creates a huge problem, because I really need to dedicate the last few days prior to the exam to studying, and I’m concerned that if I spend that Monday traveling, I’ll go into the exam the next day exhausted and run the risk of failing. I tried to explain this to my daughter, but she became very angry and upset and said if I really cared about her, I would be there. I do care about her! I do want to be there! And if it were any other weekend, I absolutely would be there. I feel absolutely terrible about the timing, and I’ve tried to come up with some compromises — I offered to fly out a few weeks beforehand to assist her with wedding planning, fly out and spend time with the two of them when they get back from their honeymoon, and Skype or FaceTime in to the rehearsal dinner, ceremony, and reception. She rejected all of these options and said I need to find a way to be physically present. But given the circumstances, I just don’t see how I can. WIBTA?