08/27/2026
They found the cause of Downtown Spokane's problems! It was the 7-11 at Division and 2nd Ave all along! From a press release the other day, Mayor Lisa Brown disclosed that she is out of patience with this unruly convenience store, which she has discovered is the cause behind and all the business closures, crime, graffiti, overdoses and s*x trafficking. All because of those crazy Cherry Slurpees.
Mayor Brown admits its frustrating, and she is outraged that this dime store Circle K has frustrated ALL her plans to clean up Spokane.
Following up on the Mayor's declaration, the Spokesman-Review published an article with some very carefully worded questions asking business owners specifically how this 7-11 has caused all the problems for these downtown business owners. Each interviewee readily admitted that 7-11's clientele and its over-priced Doritos are causing their businesses to struggle, and nothing else at all. Just the 7-11 - according to the Spokesman.
The article went on, however, to avoid any mention of Spokane's experimental 'harm reduction' policies, 'housing first' policies, underfunded law enforcement, the takeover of Spokane by the Homeless-NGO-Industrial Complex, and lots and lots of free stuff to incentivize predators from around the country to locate to Spokane. Clearly, we all know Spokane's problems are from 7-11, not from any policies or anything. Democrats pushed these policies, so they cannot be wrong.
Finally, Spokane residents can begin to see hope and relief from the criminal open-air Division Street Drug Market and Sprague Avenue S*x trafficking.
Rumor has it that Circle K may take over the location. And it will be totally different than 7-11. Totally.