07/30/2026
Iāve been hitting a slump lately. For those who donāt know, I was laid off from my full time job in May, and the job search has been a struggle. I wanted to lean into my creative side more while I looked for a new job. I released 3 patterns: the Summer Breeze Mesh Top, which did better than I anticipated, the Mushroom Lipbalm holder, which got all of 1 sale, and the granny stitch water bottle holder, also 1 sale.
For some reason, I hit a block while making the granny stitch water bottle holder, where I just couldnāt get myself to write, edit, photograph, post, ANYTHING. I had given up on in-person markets after losing money on almost all of them. I had burned out from YouTube, and ran out of motivation. I started designing another shirt, but with my motivation to create in such a fragile state, I put it down after a few attempts where the stitch counts didnāt add up.
Mixed in here is a very bipolar job market. The first job I had out of college was the highest paying I ever had. Unfortunately it was very high stress, and I didnāt have a life outside of work, so I took a pay cut of over $10k per year to work at my next job. After getting laid off, I struggled to even find jobs paying what I made there. Itās really frustrating to see wages go down as inflation, and your experiences go up.
Today, I finally had the idea for another pattern I wanted to start! Iāve made myself very busy trying to earn a certification to help with my job search, so I didnāt start the pattern when the idea popped into my head. After a day of studying, Iām scrolling Instagram and seeing several posts of designers work being stolen by AI. Iām also seeing several posts of people with āidealā bodies. Skinny, smooth, wearing crop tops in small sizes that can be crocheted in 1/3 of the time it takes me to crochet anything. Because not only am I plus side, but I also canāt pull off tank tops, bikinis, open back tops, and so many of the things that trend in the summer. It really just gets me asking, can I actually do this? Is it worth it to try?
I honestly donāt know why I felt inclined to make this post. At my audience size, itās unlikely that anyone is wondering where I am or what Iāve been up to. But in case you have, thereās the answer. At this point, Iām not going away, but I am making alternative plans that have me stepping back.
If anyone has any encouraging words, I could use them right now. Thank you for reading. ā¤ļø
