11/16/2025
So anybody who truly knows me knows I love a good prank better than life itself. I won’t crack a smile at a comedian, but let somebody fall or fart? I’m gone. Completely deceased.
Well… I made the tragic mistake of seeing a prank video the other day involving “fart spray,” and naturally my first thought was, I need that. It arrived yesterday, and right before Ricky climbed into the truck, I gave his seat a couple enthusiastic spritzes.
Let me tell you something: this smell does not fade. It grows. It evolves. It becomes sentient.
He sat down, and the look on his face was PRICELESS. Now keep in mind, I’ve got a colonoscopy later this week, so after a few seconds of trying to pretend he didn’t notice anything, Ricky looked over and said, “Damn, honey…”
I was already wheezing, tears rolling, trying to say, “It’s not that bad…”
Then he asked if I’d already taken “a couple of those pills” for my test. At that point I was laughing so hard I was basically praying for oxygen.
A second later he gagged, rolled his window down so fast it nearly flew off, and proceeded to express—very passionately—his thoughts about cow p**p, my internal organs, and a certain unspeakable act he was absolutely convinced I had performed in my pants.
Y’all… I am STILL crying-laughing every time I think about it. That man is going to put me in the ground one of these days, but yesterday? Yesterday was worth every single tear.
