01/12/2025
Editorâs Note: This story is satirical.
Martin Luther King Jr. â who was made famous by the MLK Plaza at USF â once possibly remarked, âIf USF adds any more parking, it will become a bad school like the University of Florida.â
After the football teamâs 41-38 loss to Navy, this truth seems all the more real to students.
Wayde Klyczek, a freshman business advertising major, said he is decidedly against the amount of parking at USF.
âEvery time USF adds more parking, the dining hall food gets worse,â Klyczek said. âI canât take it anymore. Iâve been here for 25 years, and it has never been worse. Ever. Never ever.â
It isnât a secret that fewer parking spaces make for a better university. Harvard has only three parking spaces.
USF has over 20,000 parking spots, so it is no surprise that Harvard beats South Florida in the rankings every year.
If USF wants to compete with Ivy League giants, it needs to start by limiting student convenience.
While it is undeniable that USF has too many parking spaces, university leaders have made efforts to preserve student inconvenience.
By making several different parking passes, USF has confused everyone.
There are âSâ, âRâ, âEâ, âGZâ, and âYâ permits. Each one of these permits comes with three parking spaces and only costs $149,000 a semester.
Luckily, nobody knows what any of the permits mean, so nobody can use them.
âď¸ & đ¸ by Thomas Marrs
đ˛ Click the link to read more.
https://www.usforacle.com/2025/11/27/satire-why-usf-should-have-less-parking/