09/18/2025
I gave the “perfect” presentation.
45 minutes of data. Zero questions. Room full of nodding heads.
3 months later? Nothing changed.
That failure taught me the influence paradox:
The less you try to convince people, the more convincing you become.
Most leaders think better arguments = more influence.
Wrong.
When you present change, people’s brains calculate risk:
• “What if this doesn’t work?”
• “What if I look stupid?”
• “What if I lose something valuable?”
These are survival instincts. Logic won’t overcome them.
The 3-word phrase that changed everything?
“Help me understand.”
Instead of convincing, I started listening.
Instead of controlling, I started collaborating.
Peak performers don’t win debates. They create conditions where people feel safe to change.
Swipe for the full breakdown ➡️
Full framework in my latest YouTube video (link in bio).
What’s your experience with influence vs. authority? Drop a comment below 👇
