12/10/2022
It was my dream to become a mom.
However I always thought I did not deserve the gift of giving life ,
that I wasn’t lucky or good enough,
That no men would be attracted to me,
that it only happens to others except me.
All these self doubts talks I had them haunting me early on from my teenage years .
Then I met my husband in my early twenties early enough to have me prepared mentally to start a family.
When we were ready to conceive after we got married in my late twenties, is when I realized it was not going to be that easy…
I faced infertility and it took me six years before I finally got pregnant ( naturally! Using holistic treatments ) but ended up having an ectopic pregnancy ( lots of bleeding, very painful and harsh treatment to induce a miscarriage)
I got pregnant 6 months later
My pregnancy went well until I reach the last semester and then ended up being high risk,
got hospitalized at 32 weeks and got induced on New Year Eve at 34 weeks.
It did not go too well we both almost did not make it. He was born small but healthy and I recovered slowly but surely from heavy hemorrhage.
I became a mom on New year day of 2010, a new decade, a life changing decade for me.
My daughter came six years later after facing once more infertility .
I am blessed for experiencing the gift of giving life in this lifetime.
Giving life to two beautiful souls and embrace the gift of motherhood.
Facing infertility, the wait, the stress, the guilt, all these drawbacks allowed me to become resilient with uncontrollable outcomes, allowed me to really appreciate the gift of motherhood and not take it for granted.
What would I have become have I not become a mom? Even more resilient and would have switch my dreams to other gift of life. Life goes on..