07/30/2025
“AIDS: One Tulsan’s Fight for Life”
Tulsa World (4/14/85)
Stories By CATHY MILAM — Of the World Staff
“Peter, a 24-year-old Tulsa man, said he first realized something was wrong in August 1984, shortly after he began working on a construction job.
“It was the first time I’d done that kind of work, and I thought at first that I just wasn’t used to it. I suffered from a lot of fatigue and what seemed to be flu-like symptoms,” Peter said.
“It got where I couldn’t walk up the stairs in my apartment building without being out of breath.”
It wasn’t the flu. Instead, Peter was diagnosed as having AIDS — acquired immune deficiency syndrome.
Peter had contracted Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia, a rare form of lung disease. The lung disease, along with Kaposi’s sarcoma, a rare form of skin cancer, are the two diseases that most often kill AIDS victims.
“Seventy percent of the people who get (the lung disease) don’t survive. But we licked it,” Peter said.
Six or eight weeks later, it came down with cryptococcos meningitis (an infection of the membranes that envelope the brain and spinal cord). That’s what keeps reoccurring. We treat it for weeks, it seems to get better and all of a sudden its back again,” he said.
Peter said that when his doctor, Dr. Jeffrey Beal, told him that it was possible that he had AIDS, “I felt, down deep, that it just couldn’t be AIDS, it had to be another kind of infection.
“I’d just read the scare stories. That was it. I wasn’t really informed about the disease,” Peter said.
Peter’s daily treatments are similar to the kinds of treatment given to cancer patients. He has four more weeks left on his current fight against meningitis.
“Hopefully we’ll have it killed by then,” Peter said.
“It (AIDS) has given me a lot. When it comes to long-range plans, I have no idea how long I can go, and how much I can carry off.”
Peter said most of his close friends are very supportive, and are interested in his illness. He said most of them are concerned because they feel that one day they could be affected.
Most of his closest friends also are gay, Peter said.
Peter’s mother, Jane, said she first heard Peter’s diagnosis of AIDS when he was hospitalized for the first time.
“My thought was, ‘They’re crazy.’ I figured there was no way that Peter could have AIDS,” she said.
“I knew nothing about AIDS. I really thought it was something that someone had dreamed up to hang on gay people, so I never bothered to learn about the disease.
“The truth is, I don’t think I ever accepted that he had AIDS until about six weeks ago. I just believed the odds were too great,” she said.
Jane pointed out that there have been 9,405 cases of AIDS diagnosed in this country, three-quarters of which are gay men. Estimates place the gay population at about 25 million.
“It was hard for me to deal with that, the feeling that I had somehow been singled out,” Peter said.
Beal said Peter does not fit the classic stereotype of an AIDS victim. “Studies show that at the time of diagnosis, the age ranges from 29 to 39, and that the victim’s average number of lifetime s*x partners is 1,000 or more, whereas a normal, healthy gay male has a lifetime total of 500 or less s*x partners. Peter has been part of an almost monogamous relationship for the past two years,” Beal said.
Beal said that AIDS is a disease with a long incubation period, and in many cases no symptoms occur for three or four years after a victim is exposed to the virus.
Paul, Peter’s lover, said that fear of the disease is a two-edged sword for him. Not only must he watch the person closest to him suffer, but he fears for his own health.
“It’s hard to cope every day, but I just keep checking with Dr. Beal, and as long as he says I’m OK, I’m OK,” Paul said.
Both Peter and Paul said the disease has made an impact on their friends.
“They’ve drawn closer together. When it hits this close to home, they have to start asking, ‘What can I do to prevent this situation,’” Peter said.
“Most of our friends are cutting down on dating,” Paul said.
“You especially see the difference at the clubs and bars. Not so many people are going around looking for anonymous s*x,” Peter said.
Peter said he sees a certain irony in the fact that the fear of AIDS is cutting down on gay promiscuity, at the same time that growing acceptance of the gay lifestyle is making it easier for homos*xual couples to form lasting relationships.
“It’s like there’s no more need to run out into the darkness and get back in before daylight,” Peter said.
Jane said she learned about her son’s s*xual preference five or six years ago, when he was arrested in a raid on a gay club in Oklahoma City.
“The police beat him up, drug him through grass and sent him back on an airplane without any shoes,” she said.
“I had to deal with him in jail, with straightening everything out and getting him into the hospital here as soon as I picked him up at the airport. I’ll never forget it,” Jane said.
Peter said he’d watched as some former friends turned away from him when they learned he had AIDS. “Most of my friends that are gay don’t treat me any differently, but some of the straight people kind of shy away.”
“There aren’t any better people than the hospital personnel who take care of me, but some of them seem to go overboard in trying to protect themselves,” he said.
Jane laughingly told about one nurse who entered Peter’s hospital room wearing cap, shoe coverings, a mask and two gowns.
All three said they were disturbed by the ideas spread by some fundamentalist groups, claiming that AIDS is God’s punishment for gay behavior.
“It seems a little late for God’s wrath,” said Peter. “There have been g**s since the beginning of time. Furthermore, AIDS only affects male homos*xuals, and only a small percentage of them. Yet g**s have been the only ones persecuted.”
“If you told someone your son had leukemia, they would have sympathy,” Jane said. “Where’s their sympathy for someone with AIDS?”
“I don’t care for the Jerry Falwell types who would talk about God’s wrath,” said Paul. “I believe that we are all God’s children, and that God doesn’t frown on love between any two people.”
Jane, Paul and Peter asked that their real names not be used in this article because of the stigma attached to AIDS.
Peter hopes that a cure will be found soon.
“Yes, I’m young,” he said, smiling. “I just wish I could say for sure if I’ll get old.”