08/24/2025
Weâve all said it: âBecause I said so.â đŹ
It slips out when weâre tired, frustrated, or just need things done.
And sure, it works in the momentâŠ
But hereâs the problem: it teaches short-term compliance, not long-term skills and wisdom.
If we want kids who grow into confident, thoughtful decision-makers, we need something better.
Here are 3 approaches you can try instead:
1) Empathy + Choices
Kids push back when they donât feel understood. Lead with empathy, then guide with choices:
âI know youâd rather keep playing, but itâs time to leave. Do you want to put on shoes first or grab your toy for the car?â
âš Why it works: Kids feel seen and get practice making decisions within your limits. (Be sure you are offering options they like)
2) Boundaries + Power in Decisions
Children need boundaries, but they also need power in how they meet them.
âThe job right now is cleaning up. Do you want to start with the blocks or the cars?â
âš Why it works: You keep the boundary, but give them dignity through choice. That turns a command into collaboration.
3) Collaboration + Reasoning
Obedience is short-term. Wisdom comes from problem-solving.
âWe need the table cleared for dinner. Whatâs your idea for how to make that happen?â
âš Why it works: You explain the âwhyâ and invite them to think with you, building responsibility and critical thinking.
When we replace âBecause I said soâ with empathy, choices, and collaboration, weâre not giving up authority. Weâre teaching respect, building connection, and raising kids who know how to lead themselves well.
