10/28/2024
Stages of the Grieving Process
Denial
Grief is an overwhelming emotion. In denial, the person has refused to accept the loss. It is a common coping skill to protect the person from experiencing the full blow of the loss.
Similarly, within the lens of racial trauma, the person may deny racism. Instead they may support “respectability politics.” More specifically, they may support arguments that identify personal accountability within the victim, (e.g. “they needed to comply”). This allows the person to shift the blame from their racial identity to a specific behavior or individualized characteristic of that person.
Anger
In the Anger stage, the person expresses different variations of anger. It can be full fury or rage at times, but it can also include bitterness and resentment. Anger is considered a masking skill because it helps the person cover the pain they are experiencing.
Within the lens of Black Trauma, the person is no longer in denial of the racial injustices compounded over generations. This may look like individuals who have uncontrollable angry outbursts or those who become verbally or physically aggressive during protects. This also can include those who exhibit the same behavior towards inanimate objects like property.
Bargaining
In bargaining, the person feels vulnerable and helpless. They begin to look for ways to gain control in their lives. They believe that can gain control through personal actions or deals with religious figures.
For instance, within the context of racial trauma, the person may say, “if we stop killing each other, they will respect us more.”
Depression
In Depression, the person begins the feel the weight of the loss. Unlike the other stages, depression doesn’t have a common expression. But some people feel sad, are tired all the time, feel detached from reality, or think negatively.
For example, within the context of racial trauma, the person may feel hopeless about their personal safety. They may engage in unhealthy or unsafe behaviors like overeating or substance use.
Acceptance
In Acceptance, the person has accepted the loss. Please note that accepting the trauma, it not welcoming or approving the trauma.
In the context of racial trauma acceptance is not fully applicable because it’s not a logical solution. However, in acceptance, some people focus on the personal change they can influence.
