Aging Gracefully

03/10/2025

Love your children as hard as you can, because eventually, this will be their thoughts as well.

The grief doesn't get lighter.

29/09/2025

We're wrapping up National Falls Prevention Awareness Week with an oldie but a goodie from our Flourish blog: When should you go to the doctor after a fall?

Read the full post at the link below. Tell us how you prevent falls in your day-to-day life!

https://yourjuniper.org/flourish/9-27-24-when-should-you-go-to-the-hospital-after-a-fall/

28/09/2025

19/09/2025

I don’t talk about our personal lives much, because well, they are personal. I share this today for one reason. To remind anyone dealing with some kind of adversity to never stop searching for help.

I have been dealing with eye issues of one sort or another for a good 10 years. First I had a retinal pucker in my good eye. Monitored it for a few years and then had surgery on it. Then I had cataracts removed from both eyes. Then macular degeneration hit the retinal pucker eye so I started getting eye injections in it. It was no longer my “good eye.” 😂
A few years later, macular degeneration hit in my “new “good eye. “

I am getting second opinions from two different eye specialists, but I can see the writing on the wall (sort of 🤪). Even with my glasses on, I cannot see well from 6” away from my face to about 15’. Can’t see my face well in a mirror. Don’t recognize faces until they start talking (as long as I know their voice. 😂) Can’t see changes in terrain, the speedometer, books, credit card numbers, business cards, dirt on the floor, you get it. Enough about what I cannot do.

My eye doctor referred me to a specialist that works with the blind. She came out to visit with me and told me that while I will probably never be 100% blind, they have tools for people like me. I started getting things in the mail this week that I am looking forward to trying.

A table lamp with a magnifier so I might not have to stop doing artwork, glasses with magnifiers on them (like surgeons wear) to see detail really well, books on tape that I can listen to with earphones without paying a company like Audible, a magnifying glass with a light to carry in my purse so I can read menus and more. I will check back in later to let you know how things are going.

Don’t just sit back when you get a diagnosis that has life-changing potential. Get second opinions. Beat the bushes fop other options.

Faith in Action does a wonderful job of taking folks like me out shopping and will even come in to the store to help be a second pair of eyes that won’t walk away like my spouse might. 🙄 Check with your county health department too to see if they offer assistance.

My dad’s side of the family had macular degeneration in the bloodline. I got to see firsthand how they dealt with it, and every one was different. It might change the way I get things accomplished, but it will not stop me from living my best life, one way or another.

25/08/2025

No one prepares you for the silence that children leave behind when they grow up...
Not the silence of an empty house,
but the silence that creeps into your heart...
when they no longer ask you what to do,
when they no longer seek your advice,
when they begin to live... without you.

And you smile, of course.
Because that's what you wanted: to see them fly.
But inside... something breaks.

Because being a mother of adult children is something else.
It's biting back your words when you see they're wrong.
It's swallowing the urge to call when they don't answer.
It's learning to love without invading.

It's looking from afar, with your hands still
and your heart trembling.

Sometimes they tell you things... but often they don't.
And you pretend it doesn't hurt.
But it does hurt.
It hurts not to be part of everything like before.
It hurts to see that they no longer need you... at least not like before.

And yet, there you are.
Putting out their favorite food when they come over.
Arranging their childhood photos.
Praying for them every night, as if that were enough to protect them from the world.

Because deep down, a mother never stops caring.
She only learns to do it from the shadows.
From a corner.
From a prayer.

And that's a form of love that no one sees...
but that sustains everything.

Moral:
Being the mother of an adult child means accepting that you are no longer the center of their life... but continuing to love them as if you were. Because there are loves that don't fade; they only learn to wait in silence.

Mayrasak

15/08/2025

Love them loudly while you can. ⏳

11/08/2025

“To My Caregivers, My Children”
—You didn’t sign up for this.
Not for the slow unraveling of the parent you once knew,
not for the days that feel like watching me
fade in real time.

You didn’t sign up for the tremor in my hands,
the halting of my words,
the way I sometimes stare at the wall
because my mind has slipped somewhere you can’t follow.

You didn’t sign up for the smell of medicine on my breath,
for changing my clothes when I cannot,
for the endless cycle of pills, appointments,
and tears I try to hide.

And yet… here you are.
Not turning away.
Not running from the parts of this that are ugly,
or heavy,
or unbearably slow.

You see me—
not just the shell of me,
but the one who taught you to walk,
who stayed up in the night when you were sick,
who loved you before you even had a name.

And now,
you love me in the most unglamorous,
unphotographed way—
with hands that lift me,
with patience that holds me together,
with a steady presence that says,
“I will not leave.”

I know it’s hard to watch me
die by inches.
It’s hard to see me slip away
and still come back tomorrow,
ready to help me take another slow step.

But please know this—
every touch, every small mercy you give me
is not lost.
It is written in the deepest part of me.
And if I could,
I would gather it all into words
and tell you how much it means
that my last chapters
are being written in your hands.

Thank you—
for carrying me
through the part of life no one dreams about.
For showing me
that love doesn’t end
when the body begins to fade.

21/07/2025

Do you have “people?” We are quickly discovering the beauty and necessity of having friends and relatives that can surround you and step in when needed. And not everyone has to be a friend or relative to qualify as your people. If you know you are stepping across a threshold that will be challenging, start looking now. In addition to our friends here up north in God’s Country, we have found assistance from both Faith in Action and the Cass County Public Health Dept. Both have a transportation service staffed by volunteers who will take on the challenge of picking people up for a medical appointment, grocery shopping, etc. Tribal members also have a similar service as far as I know. Lots of people will offer help too, but asking for help can be difficult. Figure out your level of discomfort in advance and if you can’t bring yourself to ask friends, ask someone. People are willing to help. It makes them feel good. So go ahead, just don’t take advantage of anyone. And make sure you are either offering a stipend, baking something yummy for them or doing some volunteering yourself after you recover. Getting older and dealing with life’s challenges is not for wimps, and you may find more and more of them as you age. But it sure beats the alternative!

11/06/2025

Straight from the Mantique collection!
Jumpsuits and tie-die pants!
There seems to be no mention of those lovely oversized pointed collars which truly add to overall syling