07/02/2023
I’ve sat here in my hotel room here in beautiful Barcelona (although it’s gloomy and raining at the moment) and have pondered about how to start this post and there lays the answer.
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While I have been having a blast traveling and seeing the other side of the world these past couple of months, I must admit that it has also been tough on me.
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I’m not used to being alone so I have been making a personal effort to embrace loneliness. Doing such has allowed me to grow and be more in tune with myself but it has also shown me that I do not fare well on my own and I honestly enjoy the company of others rather just my own.
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If you have made this far in my post, I appreciate your precious time devoted to me and my rant.
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This post is about what I have mentioned already and also me venting/grieving my mothers death.
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It’s coming up on 2 years in June and I still do not know how to handle it, grieve or mourn and that’s okay because there is no text book or proper way to do so. Everyone mourns their own way or will do so eventually.
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I miss my mom probably the most I ever have today as I sit alone in my small hotel room in Barcelona, Spain on this gloomy rainy day here and while I’m hurting in this moment, I am also healing.
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I do not know how to reach out to others for help or comfort tbh. I’m used to being the one providing such.
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Anyways I’ve said a lot and I dearly miss my late Mother “PUDAT” was our nickname me and friends gave her. I love you Mom, hopefully you are peacefully at rest and have found your perfect fishing hole in the afterlife.