07/03/2024
THANK GOD, THIRTY THREE YEARS AGO
March 6, 2024, I am blessed to mark 33-years of sobriety.
Truly, for about 10-years, I consumed and abused most every brand of booze or alcoholic drinks on the market and partook in many kinds of drugs. No lie, I would spend an entire day, waking up to prescription pills, get drunk for lunch, snort co***ne, smoke ma*****na to come down off of that high, take more prescription pills to take a nap, go out and get drunk at night, do more "blow," and maybe smoke a he**in dipped joint to go to bed; then do it all over again, for some stretches, day after day, on and off for a significant portion of 10 years while committing what I call "slow su***de" after the death of my mother, the love of my life.
However, one day, after literally looking at myself in the mirror, and seeing myself as a ghost, which was actually worse than "hitting rock bottom," I spoke one phrase: "God, please help me." Shortly thereafter, following a godly message and helping hand from a good human, in service to my deceased mother, I was headed to church and that which would become an exorcism.
Since that day and only drinking two non-alcoholic beers, handed to me by the devil himself, in the form of an incredibly gorgeous Russian woman, even sipping those two beers, seemed like too much beer, and I am blessed to report, I have not even taken an aspirin or any alcoholic drink in those 33 years.
In those 33-years, in some books, the purported lifespan of Jesus Christ, for those who believe in him, the following is what I most learned:
-There is a God. In programs, they refer to Him as a "Higher Power" and whoever you define "God" to be. Well, that notion is indeed a helpful mindset, but it is not spiritually accurate. The truth of the matter is there is, but one God and He is a spiritual being and His Holy Spirit, is the Highest Power on Earth, within humans, which is the only means to productively and perpetually avoiding the demons of alcoholic spirits and drug spirits and not relapsing.
-If you have one alcoholic drink or partake in drugs but once, you don't need to have an "addictive personality," you are already on the road to addiction. There is no reason on Earth to even have a single drink or use a single drug, not even an aspirin. In addition, whether a person's alcohol and drug use does not seem problematic, unmanageable or addictive yet; it's just a matter of time, one way or another; and alcohol and drugs really add no meaningful value to a person's life.
-The power of the mind and physiology of the human body are amazing. I can't recall how painful injuries from surgeries, broken bones, tumors, diseases, infections and even emotional pain and heartache have left me damaged, destroyed, and depressed to the point of su***de many, many, many times; however, it's miraculous how through prayer and positive thinking, and a wholesome and healthy lifestyle, one can truly remedy that which a person needs to endure and overcome any pain.
-It's also amazing how, biologically, you build up an intolerance, so to speak, to needing or having a drink or using a drug. As time goes by, things which are painful seem to become less prevalent and less painful. It truly seems as if spiritually God is rewarding you, for perfecting your body, heart and mind, and that power within is enough to heal and overcome any pain or painful feeling.
-You learn to "embrace any pain," as a positive and warning because without it you wouldn't know there was a deeper, more harmful underlying condition or problem. I mean imagine if you broke your jaw and you didn't feel pain, well, eventually your face and mouth could become deformed and unfunctional, you'd probably be unable to eat, and you could die of starvation. In other words, it might seem easy to have a drink or pop a pill to escape the pain, but the deep underlying problem doesn't permanently go away.
-There is a very profound Biblical scripture, story and principles which tell the story of a person who had seven demons, and while six were exorcised or cast out, the other one came back at least seven times stronger.
I can certainly see the truth to this scripture and story, for multiple reasons, as it seems to me people are easily addicted to at least seven things, they might not think are evil, unhealthy or addictive. Additionally, through the simple analysis of filling a void, deadening the pain, or seeking some form of escapism, it's not uncommon to have one addiction replace and overcome the others from which a person may abstain. However, it’s always the godliest and most spiritual mindset and condition, to “Be perfect, as your Father in Heaven, is perfect.”
For example, not only is there a replacement mechanism, but there is also the truism of an addiction increasing exponentially. The two prominent examples I use are these: Go to any AA or NA meeting, and you will see an inordinate amount of people outside, during breaks, fiendishly smoking ci******es.
Also by example, sit down at a blackjack table, then notice how many people drink, then fire up a cigarette, saying, they “only smoke when they're drinking,” then after the booze buzz wears off, partake in some drug, and then when high, are tempted to commit some form of adultery, and end the evening, early in the morning, gluttonously gorging themselves on food, only to pass out, lazily oversleep, and wake up in the morning to multiple cups of coffee and/or "the hair of the dog that bit them," more alcohol.
Anyway, in the end, I only record this remembrance and lesson, as a way to preach and teach and to honor The God who saved me from drinking or drugging myself to death one way or another.
And truly, I don't want any commendation or recognition because that is actually counterproductive, unhelpful, and unholy, because perhaps the truest thing I learned is: There is no way in Hell any human can think they achieved any kind of sobriety or salvation apart from the humility to know it is only by God's goodness and grace a person is saved from any affliction or addiction, and I am indeed obligated to write and record this simply to help and encourage others and to honor and thank The Good Lord.
Anonymous
