SILENT SKY

18/09/2025

& we were there inbetween the random conversations..Not trying to know each other more.. and as it would have been, you left.. & something different occured that I could not ignore...
It felt like an heart break & I still wanted to happen again and again.. For I kept seeking a little bit more of you and my mind smilingly cherished the pain..
The droplets that sparkled through the strand of the hair, were meaninglessly noticed with care.. the fingertips rubbing the chin, made my eyes stare with keen..
For it was never more than a random conversation.. without wanting to know you, I made you my intension..
The five seconds smile, the eyes through the glasses, may be got me some reason to share the umbrella causing the adrenaline rushes.. For may be or not I get to see you again.. But my mind will recall the feeling and heart will cherish the pain...
Things were like framed sounding magically insane..
But its a Story from the rain...

14/09/2025

The Silent Warrior

I strive through confusions
My own set of conclusions
Sometimes too much energy
To initiate a change..
While sometimes too laid back
To have something arranged..
I can stand by strong,
Whenever it feels true..
But am too much inside
For the judgements I do...
The fight are too pesonal,
And hard for one self..
When rivalry is the mind..
No one else can help..
It is good in the begining
And gradually gets tough..
Making realizations like
You are not good enough..
May be some genuine talks
Makes things lighter sometime..
Or some tears of relief
Making things align..
For the God within
Keeps the demon by its side..
And utimately there's Nothing to hold on..
Nor anything to hide...
Such a troubled soul I am..
Holding nothingness of all kind..
It is difficult to stand by me
When I dont have peace of my mind..
It might take time as
Nothing works for me on force...
I just wish I could be simple sometimes
to surrender and let me be yours...

05/07/2025

The nights are closer to me since years..as slowly but willingly I can get closer to my fears..I can do the wrong.. without anyone along.. judging my self.. comparing with others.. checking depth of my love and that's what bothers..
For I find a girl with a better routine.. Another one with a much sorted mind.. that can strongly walk along and is much of your kind..
I found some eyes that you may actually admire.. and surrender your heart without a desire.. I look into smiles and stories of some.. and judge myself if worthy to carry along...
I have my own mess and too many self made stress.. that often I lose myself too.. then am I not selfish to look for you..
For I can love enough to love all by myself.. and not bother a bit.. and shut up keeping you away all from my s**t..
I don't doubt, for your eyes says it all for me.. and I can't resist how strongly by my side you want to be.. The patience you hold..the care you do.. keeps me falling repeatedly for you..
But my mind is evil and keeps comparing me with others..checking depth of my love and that's what bothers..
For all the journeys and holding on sometimes me and sometimes times you.. I fear myself but still hoping in the end if we can put through..

22/06/2025

May be there are boundaries that we can never skip.. some words.. closeness and people are better held without insecurities... For how the world that judges the world.. if enters the thoughts.. the judgements are beyond hurts...
I let go off the bounds of normal and spoke the words being free.. May be it should not have been the way and I should be sorry...
I am not dependent on you.. I feel you and feel you to be so me... That taking care and your repair.. somehow sets me free..
But there are still mysteries to unfold.. we have golden ways of keeping things untold.. where assumptions are taken as adventurous ride.. and ignorance to something not understood is saved as pride..
I get mind fu**ed.. may be tried to be too close.. and gradually opening door in my mind I had to shut close.

18/05/2025

23/04/2025

I had the fear of losing you and I was losing my mind.. In the cogwheels of life.. a strange burden of thoughts were setting to be aligned.. the feeling of being safe that use to set me free.. somehow came too close for catching me.. some dreams of forever that were too good to be true.. not just held us together but made me forcefully collide with you.. Definitions of love started redefining my identity.. and being yours I felt to lose all my ability...
My trembling heart and soul losing all courage trying to play safe.. In all my discomfort I was seeking you for quick escape..
No that's not how I own and carry my weakness.. Where I don't stand by myself, I can't own your distress.. More I go deep I felt like losing some respect.. respect for something that was too close to forever.. but me losing myself set the trigger...
I decided to lose my fear.. to set things apart that aren't here.. Fighting my mind was growing worse with my age.. So I gathered to face with all my courage.. As you can't decide things or change something thats meant to be.. So I stepped for the change with all the risk knowing that Change is never easy..

23/02/2025

Thoughts over a cup of tea

If there's a sudden change to a teenage me.. looking through the messenger.. the green dots seems to compete the tenacity to wait before falling asleep.. a spark of happy feeling with a very tiny desire to convey.. but to carry on with the story in mind with out a word to say.. where there lies nothing more than talking to one self and may be a whole lot of careful stacking in help.. not knowing what is wanted out of it.. carrying some background song in repeat..a telepathy life to converse and an extremely obsessed moment where little words, unnoticed touches felt thousands of lifetimes to fail... But the only question that pops up in my mind .. do I still believe in such fairytale??

19/02/2025

When time is too valuable and worthless together.......

When all the faith in the timeless moments gets your back to the wall.. And slowly but gradually the time demands to set free... free the self made belongings from the territory.. with the quote of not meant to be..
As the expectations hit the reality check and demands keep paining... A foggy pathway with droplets acquire the power to set you both vulnerable and fearless... a sudden caous of silence keeps you sorted in the mess... Decisions can never be wrong but can be extreme though... Where you have the choice to be one you never know... And time never stops for the precious moments passing by.. and sometime it's good that you chose not to try..not because there's no way out but you realise the regret of expressions to be loud .... Loosen the boundaries of to be or not to be.. and just choosing the hopelessness to be free... Not choosing to fight again for the time to bother... as valuable time has chosen to play worthless together....

19/02/2025

A sudden bit of windless storm breaking off the shores.. some tinkering distress with traits felt before.. walking along the streets with the topsy turvy in mind.. No answers but I had a lot of questions to find... The sinusoid of emotions swinging right through my veins.. striking through the stomach and smokey lungs to face a fake defence.. The lights were hated and all around heated with some silence.. the calming night sky seemed to have taken some offence.. All through this restless irritation shaking hands, legs and struggling mind.. Strength was scarce to hold on or find...
There was nothing that seemed to be true..And no hope I was heading to ...
But there was something I was holding on..and before I could have let it gone.. some tunes of music.. some windy strikes.. some falling star.. some lonely scar.. all contributed a bit by bit.. till slowly and gradually embraced by a sigh of relief..