18/07/2025
Oh, Andy Byron, the CEO of Astronomer because nothing says "gazing at the cosmos" like getting caught in a terrestrial tangle with your married Chief People Officer, Kristin Cabot, during a Coldplay concert of all places. You're out there apologizing for what you call a "deeply personal mistake" that "should have been a private moment," but buddy, if you're in a public setting, no privacy should be assumed and your consent isnt needed…because NEWS FLASH: Public venues don't come with invisibility cloaks, and blaming the spotlight for exposing your "joy" is like a kid saying the cookie jar jumped into his hand. I’m sure you didnt ask your wife’s consent, or her husband’s for his consent.
Full accountability? Please—this statement reeks of deflection, whining about consent and privacy while conveniently glossing over the fact that you, a married man with a family, chose to turn "Lights will guide you home" into "Lights will ignite your career-ending drama.”
And let's not forget Kristin, your HR Chief, who's also hitched to someone else because what's a corporate scandal without DOUBLE the vows being vaporized?
As head of HR, she probably wrote the company policy on workplace romances, yet here you two are, making "team building" exercises look like a bad rom-com.
Reflect all you want, Andy, but next time, maybe stargaze solo instead of playing footsie under the arena lights. Your wife deleted her Facebook, I hope that "fix you" lyric hits harder now.
