11/08/2025
2020 -> 2025
I made it to 5.😭
In a few hours time, 5 yrs ago, I was waking up in intensive care after the 12hr op that forever changed but saved my life. I had no visitors (pandemic), didn’t how long I’d be in hospital or when I’d see my loved ones (months). I was wrapped in some sort of foil blanket, tubes, wires and drains front and back from all angles, a tube coming out of the middle of my left bottom cheek draining fluid from inside my pelvic cavity, my body was shaking uncontrollably… but I was so thankful to have woken up after such an enormous op. I remember opening my eyes and my first thought was “I’m alive”. Words I still repeat to myself all the time.
…and my clever surgeons had removed all of the cancer in my body.
At diagnosis I was inoperable, stage 4 and told I would unlikely ever be on a curative path. To get on that operating table was a miracle (and gruelling). To be here to reach my 5 years with ‘no evidence of disease’ is a milestone I didn’t dare to think about. Those that know about cancer will know that the 5 yr milestone is a big one and as a stage 4er the stats on reaching 5 years are woeful.
I truly, truly hope my story gives hope to those at the start of their journey who are in a similar situation. Statistics say I had a 19% chance of reaching this 5 year milestone after my surgery, but hopefully this is a reminder that we are so much more than a statistic.
I’ve lost so many beautiful friends along the way, people who went through the brutality of the operation I had but whose cancer came back. Friends who didn’t even get a chance to fight it. Not a day goes by I don’t think of them. They deserve to be here too.
I am grateful for life, for the good days and the hard ones, thankful to everyone who worked so hard to keep me here, especially my sweet oncologist and my brilliant surgeon. Thankful to those who’ve offered kindness and support along the way and continue to, you don’t realise it but you’ve literally helped me get out of bed some days.
An emotional day, mainly grateful but also so sad that my Dad isn’t here to see me get to this milestone, but I hope he’s proud wherever he is. ❤️
(Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.)
