Nothing Movies. A Podcast by Kazz Leskard and Jameson Rafter

16/06/2025

NEW EPISODE!!
Jed Muldoon (Maclachlan) is the fastest moonshine runner in the county; there isn’t a G-Man alive that can catch him. Jed’s got himself a lady love, Ethel (Maria del Mar) who wants Jed to take her away from all this. Problem is, Ethel is still married to the corrupt lawman Sheriff Miller (Randy Quaid) who refuses to sign the divorce papers and has Ethel as locked up as the entire town he rules with an iron fist. Jed’s best buddy H***h (Gary Farmer) wants him to get out of the life as well and start racing professionally, but lawman Bill Rickman (Alex Carter) has the same idea and recruits hotshot driver Dwayne (Jeremy Ratchford), who has his own score to settle with Jed, to help take him down. Meanwhile, crazy, moon-lovin cousins the Clayton’s want some of Jed’s blood too, on account of their brother Clem (David Cronenberg) gettin got by the law! Somebody’s gonna have to pay, and there’s only one road out of town, and it’s that treacherous Moonshine Highway. Tristen Foy is our guest as we watch Andy Armstrong’s MOONSHINE HIGHWAY, on this episode of Nothing Movies!
https://youtu.be/wOGuEdKFo-0?si=Ib6wPglKaZnkU1rg
https://open.spotify.com/episode/741QtEzsUQgHtA2yBKyYh6

29/05/2025

NEW EPISODE!!
On our final WrestleMAYnia of the year, we’re inducing a new member into the Nothing Movies Hall of Fame, and it’s one of our favourite guys! Roddy Piper was the subject of our very first WrestleMAYnia episode, so it’s only fitting that we discuss his first credited film role. M. Harry Smilac (Dirk Benedict) is a sleazy, washed-up talent manager who has Korean loan sharks breathing down his neck, a Cadillac that keeps getting repossessed, and the lone rock band he manages keeps burning down the venues with their pyrotechnics. Harry’s luck changes when he meets Quick Rick Roberts (Piper), whom Harry mistakes for a musician, and finds himself thrust into the world of pro-wrestling. With Quick Rick and Tonga Tom (Sam Fatu) in his stable, Harry has to contend with rival manager Captain Lou Murano (played in a subtle bit of meta-casting by Captain Lou Albano) and his violent brutes Axe and Hammer (Sione Vailahi and Tom Kasat) while also trying to woo rich society babe Candance Vandervagen (Tanya Roberts).Can Harry combine wrestling and rocknroll into a new sports entertainment phenomenon! Will Billy Barty ever stop dropping homophobic slurs while Charles Nelson Riley is standing right there!? Find out as we watch Hal Needham’s BODY SLAM, on this episode of Nothing Movies.
https://youtu.be/C-SKEHFCpAk?si=v8BZQMadADwUvVR7
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5Y1vvCq8NdRswlBektQ1lF

12/05/2025

NEW EPISODE!!
WrestleMAYnia continues with a look at one of Wrestling’s ultimate villains; oh, he played a good guy, he was just an as***le. Jim Hellwig, aka, The Ultimate Warrior, aka Warrior (literally, he legally changed his name to simply Warrior), a WWE superstar who shined bright, burned out spectacularly, started his own comic book line, and has some horrible opinions on gay people and Hurricane Katrina survivors (jesus!). In his ONLY film role, Warrior plays The Swordman, leader of the Hellriders and current champion of the Death Ring, the sport of choice in the far, flung apocalyptic hellscape of…2007! Cops and best buddies Braniff (Chad McQueen) and Sledge (Gary Daniels) must go undercover as a couple of fighters named Alley Cat and The Hammer to take down The Swordman and his boss, Drexal (Joseph Ruskin). Do you need more plot than that? It’s a series of cage matches with weapons. Also, there’s an underground science ring that’s created an AIDS vaccine, but its not properly regulated by the government, so its time to shut that s**t down right now! We watched Richard Pepin’s FIREPOWER, on this episode of Nothing Movies!
https://youtu.be/s-7XrOzFC18?si=q3DpXu6ivQ7D75uD
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6r6smTRDw8gCwZn9Q4IjA2

01/05/2025

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! No, Christmas hasn’t come early, it’s time once again for WrestleMAYnia; a whole month where we talk about the film career of professional wrestlers. We kick things off by discussing the new head honcho; the heir apparent to the McMahon dynasty (yknow, besides Stephanie…and Shane)…a man named Hunter Hearst Helmley…except his actual name is Paul Michael Levesque, but round these parts, we just call him HHH. He plays Ray Bradstone, aka Ray-Ray, aka Just Plain Ray, a recently released ex-con who just wants his family back. Ex-wife Lynne (Annabeth Gish) has moved on with nerdy Dr. Marvin (Enrico Colantoni) but Ray is hoping to get back into his daughter Sally’s (Ariel Winter) good books by being the titular chaperone our her school field trip to New Orleans, headed by Miss Miller (Yeardley Smith). But after abandoning a bank job with his criminal buddies for the school bus, said scum bum chums Larue (Kevin Corrigan) and Goldy (Kevin Rankin) are on his tail, and on the trail of the bag of money that was stashed in the school bus luggage compartment. Can Ray get his s**t together and be the head of his family once again, or is this former bad boy headed back to the halls of detention. We watched Stephen Herek’s THE CHAPERONE, on this episode of Nothing Movies.
https://youtu.be/-HH9NhI12ds?si=oCNGLzFeO6B6DvWl
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1wydcLlj664QkDcZr83lj8

29/04/2025

NEW EPISODE!!
On our guest’s request, we’re discussing the career of Canadian sketch comedy legend Mark McKinney; his various projects, his time with Kids in the Hall, and this 1998 romantic comedy he made with fellow Kid Bruce McCulloch. Dating in the big city is proving to be ruff for recently dumped Andy (Luke Wilson) and Lorna (Natasha Henstridge). Things seem to be looking up after they meet in a singles bar and have a night of making out and holding hair while puking, but Lorna gets cold feet and stops things there. Andy tries dating party-hearty nymphomaniac Keiran (Kristin Lehman) while Lorna pities uncomfortable weirdo Callum (Harland Williams). Meanwhile, Andy idolizes “perfect couple” Jeri (Janeane Garofalo) and Jeff (McCulloch), who may be hiding some secrets of their own. Oh christ, right, plus they all have dogs! There’s a freakin dog park, it’s in the title! McKinney plays the wacky dog therapist who clearly loves animals more than his own family.

Nikolai Witschl (Riverdale/ Superman and Lois) returns as our guest, as we watch Bruce McCulloch’s DOG PARK, on this episode of Nothing Movies.
https://youtu.be/ZcQ5WexCXFM?si=yBvC4DGOQ_XS-16s
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2nTkW6LLjfdRUC9eRWyGQQ

01/04/2025

NEW EPISODE!!
Our look at the Nothing Movies of James Bond actors concludes (for now) with a peak into the career of old one-and-done Lazenby; the man who succeeded Sean Connery as the worlds most famous spy, made one pretty good movie and then said “actually, I’d rather fade into obscurity, thanks!). In this 1978 Brucesploitation flick, Lazenby plays Capt. Gallagher, who assigns his best cop, kung-fu expert Det. I.J. Ash (Jim Kelly) to investigate the murder of a fellow cop. Ash discovers the notorious crime lord Sant “The Pig” Massino (Harold Sakata) is in town looking for a woman named Felicia (Patch Mackenzie); a former assistant to the late Dr. Mason, a brilliant scientist who has created a weather bomb for The Pig that will instantly freeze anyone close enough to it when it detonates. Knowing The Pig wants to sell it to the highest bidder, Mason hides the blueprints in a “microdot” and sews it into Felicia’s forehead. Now Det. Ash is on the case, along with his partner Li (Myron “Bruce” Lee), and an endless wave of goons wait for him around every corner, attacking him every five minutes or so. But Ash is a mean son of a bitch, and has kung fu skills, and nun-chucks! This movie rules in case you couldn’t tell. We watched Al Adamson’s DEATH DIMENSION, on this episode of Nothing Movies.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3B-xCAs1iW4&t=926s&ab_channel=NothingMovies
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4VYLduYj1EN91iaU7tTK53

18/03/2025

NEW EPISODE!!!
We continue our series on the Nothing Movies of James Bond actors with this “thrilling” 1980s dad-flick. Roger Moore plays Rufus Excalibur ffolkes, and no, that’s not a typo. His last name is spelled ffolkes; two f’s, both lower case. No explanation for this is ever given. ffolkes is an anti-terrorism expert who lives in a castle, has many cats, loves scotch and hates women; and is the only man for the job when hijackers (led by Anthony Perkins and Michael Parks) plant bombs on two oil rigs and a boat and threaten to blow everything up if their ransom is not met. ffolkes is forced to work with a stuffy Admiral (James Mason) and, ugh, several WOMEN, to save the day and get back to his kitty cats. We watched Andrew V. McLaglen’s NORTH SEA HIJACK, aka……ffolkes, on this episode of Nothing Movies!
https://youtu.be/UZ03xV3uaQA?si=OUyP0ADDGm5P2Rdd
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ReMpJiDyBcxMyWBDzXZsh?si=2-CwzYc9S6OY7aC_HQiDyg

08/03/2025

NEW EPISODE!!
We’re covering the Nothing Movies of James Bond actors, and to kick us off, Sean Connery heads to Medieval England, 11 years before he would play King Arthur himself, in this rollicking retelling of an ancient Arthurian legend brought to us by the fine folks at Cannon Films. Sir Gawain (Miles O’Keeffe) is but a lowly steward in the royal court, but one boring evening when the King (Trevor Howard) is feeling pi**ed off by his lazy knights, a stranger arrives at the castle gates; the Green Knight (Connery), who issues a challenge: if someone can chop the Green Knights head off with his own axe, then in a years time, the Knight will return to…cut that person’s head off?? (It’s a really old story, folks, it has a few plotholes). Gawain agrees, and sets off on a year-long quest; where he discovers a mystical parallel world with a beautiful, easily-kidnappable maiden named Linet (Cyrielle Clair), and runs afoul of the power-hungry Baron Fortinbras (John Rhys-Davies), his mewling son Oswald (Ronald Lacey) and their devious Senesch… Seneschul…Sen….their butler (Peter Cushing). Will Gawain find the Green Knight’s lair and….do….something? We’ll be honest, the plot kind of escaped us on this one. We watched Stephen Weeks’ SWORD OF THE VALIANT: THE LEGEND OF SIR GAWAIN AND THE GREEN KNIGHT, on this episode of Nothing Movies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcNGVUHzGts&ab_channel=NothingMovies
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4XGglEbL9niMb2Rogp3FHW

22/02/2025

NEW EPISODE!!
Our miniseries on the greatest director to never exist concludes with this wacky 1986 supernatural comedy that asks “What if Ghostbusters had 80% more direct references to the American slave trade?” Bumbling cops and best friends Buford (Sherman Hemsley) and Benny (Luis Avalos) are sent by their stern Sheriff (Pepper Martin) to evict two old ladies from a notorious haunted house; a house Buford visited as a child one spooky Halloween evening. The house is indeed haunted by racist, mad scientist vampire (?!) Beauregard Lee (also Pepper Martin). But when Buford and Benny fall for Beauregard’s lovely great-granddaughters Linda (Deborah Benson) and Lisa (Diana Brookes), they’ll need all the help they can get from a pair of friendly, helpful spooks; Andrew Lee (Myron Healey), Beauregard’s kind grandson, and Jethro (also Sherman Hemsley), Buford’s own great-grandfather. Also, no bulls**t, the last 20 minutes of this movie are a boxing match between Benny and Smokin’ Joe Frazier! We watched Alan Smithee’s GHOST FEVER, on this episode of Nothing Movies.
https://youtu.be/6Jd2RRMmyRg?si=3zq-oJS2vnAfkh3x
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7auU3bTKAiGr64ZfHDVmqC

03/02/2025

NEW EPISODE!!
Our series on the greatest director to never exist continues with this 1986 action flick abandoned by Stuart Rosenberg (Cool Hand Luke/ The Amityville Horror) after producers forced the inclusion of more scenes with People’s Sexiest Man of the Year Mark Harmon. When Harry (Harmon), a blue-collar plumber from Illinois is kidnapped by drug dealers while working on a job in Columbia, and the US government won’t lift a finger to help him, younger brother Corey (Michael Schoeffling) and his three buddies Bob (Thomas F. Wilson), Kurt (Rick Rossovich) and Spence (Glenn Frey) decide to do what any good friend would do in this situation; sneak illegally into Columbia themselves and “Get Harry”! Along with hired mercenary Shrike (Robert Duvall) and larger-than-life car salesman Smilin’ Jack Abernathy (Gary Busey), these men are on a mission to rescue their pal. But will the power of friendship be enough? We watched Alan Smithee’s LET’S GET HARRY, on this episode of Nothing Movies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziGBKSIiT-w&ab_channel=NothingMovies
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2vDUz28cTOnzIkTJvHKCx4

Gary Busey bankrolls four plumbers and Robert Duvall on a mission to rescue a 5th plumber. An Alan Smithee film.https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091400/instagra...

21/01/2025

NEW EPISODE!!
Normally on this show, we cover the careers of actors by looking at the movies they were in that don’t exist. So for our first director spotlight, it made sense to cover a director that literally does not exist. For many years, Alan Smithee was the pseudonym director’s used when the final cut of a film didn’t represent their overall artistic vision, and in 1997, Hollywood capitalized on this by making an entire film about Alan Smithee. A film so bad, the director Arthur Hiller (Love Story, The Out-of-Towners) took his name off of it, replacing it with…you guessed it.

This hubristic mockumentary follows the downfall of lost Hollywood blockbuster TRIO, which brought together the mid90s star power of Sylvester Stallone, Whoopi Goldberg and Jackie Chan (playing themselves). At the helm was a seasoned British film editor making his directorial debut. His name; Alan Smithee (Eric Idle). Aghast at the garbage he had made and desperate to retain his integrity, Smithee absconds with the film’s negatives, leaving the film’s producers James Edmunds (Ryan O’Neil) and Jerry Glover (Richard Jeni) nervous, sweaty, swearing, ranting wrecks and out for Smithee’s head. Teaming up with underground filmmakers The Brothers Bros. (Coolio & Chuck D), Smithee realizes the only way to save his good name is to send TRIO…up in flames.
We watched Alan Smithee’s AN ALAN SMITHEE FILM: BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN, on this episode of Nothing Movies.
https://youtu.be/vipSk0Yf6GU?si=bx36OMTCG4n9VSSN
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0HRNzNBhjUtW0ym6iMomQd

Help the victims of the Los Angeles Palisades fires:
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This is an infinitesimally small number of people affected, so please continue to scroll through Gofundme and drop a few dollars where you can.

22/12/2024

NEW EPISODE!!
Tim Allen, the undisputed king of Christmas movies (5 plus a Disney+ tvshow!) brings us one of his darkest and cynical looks at the holiday season with EL CAMINO CHRISTMAS. Eric (Luke Grimes) has come to El Camino, NV in search of the father he never knew. As soon as he rolls into town, however, a series of misunderstandings gets him in hot water with corrupt cop Ho**er (Vincent D’Onofrio) and lands him a vicious beating and a night in a cell. After being sprung by good-hearted but dim Deputy Billy (Dax Shepard), Eric gets caught by Ho**er skipping town, leading them to a hostage situation inside the local liquor mart. Trapped inside with them are single mom Kate (Michelle Mylett) with her young son Seth (Ashton Essex Bright), store owner Vincente (Emilio Rivera) and local town drunk Larry (Allen) who knows more than he’s letting on about Eric father. With Deputy Billy and Sherrif Fuller (Kurtwood Smith) outside attempting to keep the body count at a minimum, and a local TV anchor (Jessica Alba) looking to get the big scoop, things are spiralling out of control quickly. But will the spirit of the season be enough to bring everyone together for the holidays? Answer: NO, a couple people are killed! We watched David E. Talbert’s EL CAMINO CHRISTMAS, on this episode of NoelThing Movies.

https://youtu.be/FzTpMzPU-5Y?feature=shared
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1w5kF3BUbDEvpj3WOw10e0