17/05/2026
This isnt a complaint in the slightest, regardless of how it sounds...
Up until recently, I didnt understand being thankful for a situation that you don't like. I believed that if I started being thankful for my situation, that it meant I was happy with the way things are...
However, it just made me ungrateful for all of the things Ive received, that use to just be prayers; and it made me bitter. When I should've just focused on what was here, instead of what isn't...
One of the ways this has hit me, is with my kids. While the situation with my daughter hasnt changed, I can't let it effect my relationships with my boys...
And anyone that doesnt have full custody of their kids can tell you how bad it is, having to take them back to the other parent. There's people that handle it better then I do, and hopefully there's not many that handle it even worse...
Before, coming back home, to an empty house was almost unbearable. And its still not fun. However, that moment when I walk in my door to an empty house, it isnt that same feeling that makes you want to just go sleep the next 2 weeks away...
I walk into my house, and instantly, I start having clips of different moments we've made since being here. No particular order, no rhyme or reason. Just undeniable proof of how much love is in this house!
It may sit empty a week or two at the time. And it doesnt have kids in it but twice a month. But its slap full of LOVE! The quantity of moments might not be there, but the quality sure is...
And when i walk into my house to that, its hard to be in that same bad mood. Sad and still, because of being unhappy. And all its gotten me, is a lot of stillness and even more sadness...
I understand being thankful for where Im at, even when its hard to even get through some of the moments. When you steadily want to change the situation for the better. When you have to wipe the tears away and put another layer of tape on your heart to keep it together. Thats when you should be the most thankful...
Because there was a time, when you didnt reach for the kleenex's and you weren't concerned with tape at all, much less making sure it was duct tape to hold longer. (Ifkyk, lol)
Even if your situation hasnt changed, the way youre viewing it and dealing with it, is, and thats a celebration all in its own...
Wipe the dirt of your shoulders and stand up tall. The time for losing battles is past. We worked too hard, to mess things up, by focusing on the wrong things. We're winning battles every day, and looking right past them, because it doesnt look like we imagined...
But when its a gift for us, and not from us, we won't know whats inside. Thats for whenever the sender, decides its the right time for you to receive it. Make sure you don't miss out, on the ones thats already in your bag!
