
23/03/2024
Want To Reduce Your ND Child's Chances of Poor Mental Health and Social Isolation? Keep Reading
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One thing that is hard about growing up ND, is always being told that your GENUINE emotional responses,
are inappropriate.
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So happy that you just can't contain it, so you bounce, squeak, flap, rock, or sing?
You are being disruptive.
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So anxious that it feels overwhelming and you pace, fidget, chew on things, or zone out?
You are being rude.
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So overwhelmed that you put on your headphones, pull up your hood, retreat, or try to calm yourself with stimming?
You are being anti-social.
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So excited that you tell people (who never asked) all about your favorite subjects,
raise the volume of your voice,
and have trouble maintaining focus on what other people are saying?
You are being self-centered.
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And in this way, being an ND kid can start to feel dangerous....
scary....
unsafe....
Things you cannot, or SHOULD NOT, have to change about yourself,
ensure you will always be singled out for criticism.
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And for kids who don't even KNOW they are Autistic or ADHD or Dyslexic, it is SO MUCH WORSE....
because even if THEY don't know why they are different,
the OTHERS can sense their difference, and treat them as different.
So the social consequences of this un-labeled state, feel so intensely arbitrary and unavoidable.
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So ultimately,
we ND folks come to distrust NOT just others, but ALSO ourselves....
internalizing these ableist beliefs that ND people just get everything wrong.
And the more we do, the harder it becomes to acheive a community of support.
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Because you cannot find people to love you and uplift you, if you ONLY feel safe when you are alone.
If you can't speak honestly,
stim,
info dump,
wear headphones,
use real facial expressions,
and feel okay being yourself,
when occupying shared spaces like classrooms, offices, dorms, and community centers....
How are you ever going to make friends?
Find partners?
Preserve your mental health?
Understand yourself?
Grow?
You can't.
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And that is why explicitly teaching masking as a daily life strategy,
is bad.
And why helping kids to understand their ND diagnosis,
is good.
And why parents who worry that letting their kid be "uninhibited," "eccentric," and "real" around others, will cause more trouble than it is worth,
need to take a step back and realize their OWN desire for normative behavior comes at a HIGH, and possibly lifelong, cost.
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Stop teaching your kids to hide their NON harmful uniqueness,
And instead, start looking for places where their uniqueness will be accepted and cherished.
You might save a life.