15/05/2024
Dear family, friends, people that follow me for the plot, and most importantly the future version of myself reading this:
Today, 15 May 2024, on a Wednesday, I begin again.
The last year significantly altered my emotional and mental well-being (IYKYK). I have experienced some of the lowest of lows that are difficult to put into words...I’ve also gained so much of myself back, along with a completely new found appreciation for the people in my life that choose to be here. For that, I will always be thankful.
With my house packed, doggies home, car shipped, I venture out with only what I can fit in a backpack and carry-on bag to travel Europe for the next SIX weeks. Alone and completely unafraid- how absolutely freeing a feeling.
If you’ve known me over the last several years, this is not something I would have ever done for MYSELF. In fact, over the last several years, I have done little to nothing for myself. I (willingly and naively) gave myself to people that didn’t appreciate me, both personally and professionally. To the future version of me reading this: never again, boo.
Over the last several years (especially these last several months), I’ve been rediscovering myself. All of you know different versions of me, and ironically, I didn’t know the person in the mirror anymore at all. People used to describe me as ambitious, vibrant, astonishingly ridiculous, creative, musical, studious, and all around: unapologetically Annalisa. I sparkled.
But, I slowly faded over the course of the last few years. Between work and (failed) relationships, loss of friends, and personal struggles, I became barely an ember-if that. I gave and gave and gave pieces of me until I felt so empty inside that I couldn’t fathom the idea of genuine happiness for myself. I was full of doubt, fear, pain...
So, I write this as an apology and a reminder- I live for me. I choose me. I choose ridiculous, goofy, sparkly Annalisa- unapologetically. Time to rise from the ashes, love.