30/10/2024
TL/DR: read it. This is personal.
So, I've been dealing with a lot over the last week or so. The prime thing on my mind is the amount of energy I've put into mental health content creation since I started First Generation Dad in 2020.
I do love and take pride in what I've done. The people who have reached out to me directly about the help or inspiration I gave them has been fuel throughout the last 4 years. I do know I've made an impact and no one can take that from me.
I realized in taking time away from the mental health stuff over the last week that I am not in a place mentally to do it any more. The truth is being that honest and transparent takes a lot of mental strength thats hard for me to maintain. Add in that it's hard to get traction in the algorithm because it's not politics, a comedy set/sketch, or s*x related and the mountain I'm climbing gets real steep.
I did deactivate my tiktok so that I don't risk the channel being stolen/hacked but the podcast content will stay up because I don't want to take down 30 reasons to live in its best form. I am not opposed to picking the show back up in the future if there is a reason but at this point that's not in the cards.
I am distancing myself from all social media outside of Facebook to reduce distractions and felling overestimated.
When you're not doing something for the money, you have to be doing it for the joy you get from it and I lost that. It's not anyone's fault. It's not anyone else's job to get it back for me either.
There isn't anyone that could change my mind at this stage. I'm still passionate about the things I said and did but it's time for other voices to keep the message going. My head and my heart need a break.
Most people that start a podcast don't last more than 4 episodes. I beat that. Most people like me that get a hyperfixation like what I was doing don't hold on to it for more than 2-3 months. Beat that too.
Now, it's time to conquer whatever my next phase will be.
My work with The Sports Report will not end. I may take a small break before the 2025 baseball season but I'll decide that later. I enjoy what I do with that group of amazing individuals and it still allows me the ability to reference mental health stuff when appropriate. But I need to have hobbies that are fun and a stress relief. It's not anyone else's job to create joy in my life but mine so I can't wait to get to experience finding that again.
I appreciate all the love and support everyone has given me as I've done this and I look forward to whatever comes next in my journey.
