08/04/2026
I aggree with this 100 percent, and it's so important to me that people understand. I'm autistic and I definitely experience emotions. But I often struggle to know what I'm feeling, beyond the basics of good or bad. It is something I am constantly trying to work on though.
Autism emotions and feelings
There’s a persistent myth that autistic people don’t have emotions.
We do.
Often very big ones.
For some of us, the difficulty isn’t feeling emotions, it’s knowing what they are while we’re inside them. It can feel like being caught in a storm without the words for what’s happening. Everything is loud, intense, uncomfortable, but naming it is hard.
Not every autistic person experiences this, but many do.
Take Number 4. She might feel tight chested, tearful, heavy, restless, wired, exhausted and still not know whether that’s sadness, anxiety, overwhelm, grief, or something else entirely. The feeling is there first but for her the label often comes much later, if at all.
This is often linked to alexithymia, which is common in autistic people. That doesn’t mean a lack of emotion. It’s more like the signal is strong, but the translation is fuzzy. The body knows something is happening long before the mind can explain it.
Sensory experiences don’t help either. A racing heart might be excitement, panic, sensory overload, or all three tangled together. Physical sensations, emotions, and the environment bleed into each other. Untangling them takes time.
The world doesn’t make much space for this.
We’re expected to name our feelings quickly.
Regulate them neatly.
Express them in socially acceptable ways.
When you can’t do that, people can mistake silence or flatness for a lack of feeling. Or assume you’re being difficult, cold, or disengaged. That misunderstanding can carry a lot of shame, even though the emotions are very much there.
Finding ways to connect with emotions can be a slow, ongoing process. Sometimes tools help, emotion wheels, writing, therapy with someone who genuinely understands autism. Sometimes it’s just about time. Some emotions only make sense days or weeks later, once the nervous system has settled.
And difficulty identifying emotions does not mean a lack of care.
Empathy in autistic people is often misunderstood. Many of us feel deeply for others once we understand what they’re feeling. The disconnect is usually internal, not about compassion.
If you’re supporting an autistic person, patience matters. Not pushing for explanations. Not demanding instant clarity. Allowing space for feelings to unfold in their own time.
Emotions don’t always arrive clearly labelled. That doesn’t make them any less real.
Autistic people aren’t broken because emotions feel complicated. We’re human, navigating feelings in a world that doesn’t always meet us where we are.
Emma
The Autistic SENCo
♾️
Photo: Dressing up in Newbury Museum. A fab time had by all.
