Fabric (2025)

21/09/2025

When you tell the truth about the narcissist, remember: people who have not gone through narcissistic abuse will think you are crazy. Most people don’t believe individuals like this exist. They know only what the narcissist wants them to see.

Narcissists are masters of image management. To the outside world, they present themselves as charming, generous, even admirable. They may be well-liked in their community, respected at work, or praised for their social skills. This carefully constructed persona is their mask, and they wear it flawlessly. The problem is, when you try to expose what’s behind it, you come up against disbelief. To others, the narcissist appears nice, friendly, even kind. So when you reveal that behind closed doors this same person acts like a monster, it’s hard for people to reconcile the two realities.

Not everyone is going to believe you. That disbelief cuts deep because after enduring so much abuse—gaslighting, manipulation, cruelty—you long for validation and support. You want others to see the truth so you don’t feel so alone in it. Instead, you’re sometimes met with raised eyebrows, dismissals, or suggestions that you’re exaggerating. It can feel like being silenced all over again.

But it’s not you. Their doubt doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real. It means they can’t yet understand what you’ve been through. Think back to before your own experience—would you have believed the depths of such behavior without living it yourself? Many of us wouldn’t. That’s how surreal and hidden narcissistic abuse can be.

This is why recovering from narcissistic abuse can be such a lonely experience. You may lose friends or family who don’t understand, or who continue to side with the narcissist’s mask. Yet within that loneliness is also a path to strength. Survivors often find solace in connecting with others who have walked the same road—people who *do* understand, who don’t need convincing, because they’ve lived it too.

The most important thing to remember is that your truth stands, whether others see it or not. You know what you endured. You know what was real. Don’t let disbelief silence you or make you question your reality again. Your healing is not dependent on the validation of outsiders—it comes from reclaiming your voice, your truth, and your life.

21/09/2025

The narcissist will fight you in court for more access to the children, but when they are given access, they either want to swap it or are farming the kids out for others to look after them.

This is one of the most painful realities of co-parenting with a narcissist: the legal battle is rarely about the children’s best interests. Instead, it’s about control, image, and winning. A narcissist will often demand more custody or visitation not because they want to spend meaningful time nurturing their kids, but because it allows them to maintain dominance over you. They crave the appearance of being the devoted parent in public while behind closed doors, the reality looks very different.

Once they’ve “won” more time, the cracks show quickly. They may constantly attempt to switch days, cancel at the last minute, or drop the children off with other family members, babysitters, or even acquaintances while they pursue their own interests. The children are treated like bargaining chips — tools to inconvenience you, punish you, or polish their reputation, but not like human beings who deserve consistency and care.

This inconsistency confuses and hurts the children most of all. They may feel rejected when their parent seems disinterested, or they may internalize the neglect as a reflection of their own worth. Worse, the narcissist may use the time they *do* spend with the children to interrogate them, turn them into messengers, or subtly undermine the other parent. It’s less about bonding, more about manipulation.

For the parent who truly shows up, this can be maddening. You know how hard you’ve fought to protect your children’s stability, yet you watch the narcissist squander the opportunities they fought so hard to obtain. It highlights the truth: the custody battle was never about the kids — it was about power over you.

The best way to navigate this dynamic is to document everything: missed visits, last-minute cancellations, and evidence of neglect. Over time, these patterns often reveal themselves to the courts, even if it takes longer than it should. And while it may feel unfair, remember this: your consistency, love, and presence will leave a deeper imprint on your children than the narcissist’s chaos ever could.

21/09/2025

When a narcissist gets caught lying, they would swear on their own children’s lives, even knowing very well that they were lying through their teeth.

That’s how far they will go to preserve their image and avoid accountability. To them, the truth is irrelevant — what matters is winning in the moment, keeping control, and protecting the fragile façade they’ve built. The lie becomes more important than the people they claim to love. Even their children, who should be sacred and protected, are reduced to props in their performance.

This kind of manipulation is not just dishonest; it’s profoundly disturbing. Swearing on a child’s life is meant to add weight to their words, to shut down any doubt or questioning. It’s an emotional weapon designed to guilt or intimidate you into silence. In reality, it reveals how little integrity they have. They’re willing to gamble with the very lives they brought into the world just to avoid being exposed.

When you witness this, you’re seeing the depth of their self-centeredness. They lack the moral compass that would stop most people from crossing such a line. Children, partners, family, friends — all of them are expendable as long as the narcissist gets to protect their ego. And while outsiders might see this kind of declaration as a sign of sincerity, you learn the hard way that it’s the opposite. It’s theater. It’s manipulation. It’s desperation dressed up as conviction.

For the victim, this can be one of the most shocking realizations: that no oath, no promise, no sacred boundary is off-limits to a narcissist when they’re cornered. And if they’re willing to exploit their own children’s names to defend a lie, they’re certainly willing to exploit anyone else.

The lesson here is painful but crucial — don’t take their words at face value, no matter how dramatic or heartfelt they sound. Watch their patterns, not their performances. Words can be twisted, sworn upon, and used as weapons. Actions, over time, will always reveal the truth they fight so hard to bury.

20/09/2025

When the narcissist’s behavior undermines your sense of safety and respect, no amount of kindness can erase the pain of their manipulation or disrespect.

Kindness, patience, and empathy are beautiful qualities, but in the hands of a narcissist, they become tools to exploit rather than treasures to cherish. You may pour out compassion, hoping it will soften them, heal them, or encourage them to meet you halfway. Yet what you give in love, they twist into leverage. They take your kindness as permission, as proof that they can mistreat you and still count on your loyalty.

Safety and respect are the foundation of every healthy relationship. Without them, love cannot grow — it withers. A narcissist erodes that foundation slowly, sometimes subtly, sometimes explosively. They gaslight you until you question your reality. They belittle you until you doubt your worth. They dismiss your feelings until you wonder if you’re “too sensitive.” Each act chips away at the core of your security, until you’re left walking on eggshells, unsure of which version of them you’ll face today.

This is why no amount of kindness can “fix” the pain. Because the pain isn’t born of a misunderstanding or a temporary rough patch — it’s born of systematic disrespect and control. Manipulation is not a lapse in judgment; it’s a strategy. Disrespect is not an accident; it’s a mindset. These patterns aren’t corrected with patience from you, but with accountability from them — and accountability is something they rarely accept.

True healing begins when you recognize that the kindness you keep giving away is better reserved for yourself. You cannot outlove manipulation, and you cannot out-give abuse. Protecting your sense of safety and your right to respect means setting boundaries and, when necessary, walking away.

Because love without safety is not love. Love without respect is exploitation. And the greatest kindness you can show — to yourself — is refusing to stay where those two essentials are absent.

20/09/2025

Narcissists and psychopaths gain sadistic satisfaction from overriding your consent. They place you in twisted situations where you can be coerced into doing something you normally wouldn’t—either by misleading you under false pretenses (consent by deception), by blackmail and threats, or by wearing you down until you comply. They may manufacture scenarios where “no” becomes meaningless: misleading explanations, emotional blackmail, threats of exposure or abandonment, or prolonged pressure until exhaustion and confusion make resistance impossible.

This behavior isn’t clumsy or impulsive—it’s calculated. For them, people are resources to be exploited; consent is an obstacle to be neutralized. When they can both humiliate you and then parlay that control into new supply (love-bombing a new target, flaunting what they’ve taken, or simply enjoying the power dynamic), the manipulation becomes a game—and you are the pawn.

The impact is profound and long-lasting. Violations of consent erode your sense of bodily autonomy, safety, and trust. Survivors often report feelings of shame, confusion, self-blame, and dissociation; they may replay the event trying to find a moment when they could have “done better.” That internal searching is exactly what perpetrators count on. Trauma bonds form when cycles of harm are followed by intermittent affection or apology, making it harder to leave and clearer why recovery takes time.

Recognizing coercion matters. Red flags include: frequent secrecy around interactions, explanations that don’t add up, pressure to bypass your boundaries “just this once,” threats or ultimatums tied to compliance, sudden attempts to isolate you, or covert tactics that leave you exhausted and disoriented. If you notice these patterns, trust your instincts: consent should always be informed, voluntary, and reversible. Anything less is abuse.

If you’ve been coerced or forced: prioritize safety first. If you’re in immediate danger, contact emergency services. Preserve evidence when possible (screenshots, messages, dates, witnesses), but only if doing so won’t increase your risk. Reach out to trusted people and to professionals—s*xual assault hotlines, trauma-informed therapists, local advocacy organizations, and legal advisors who understand coercion and consent laws in your area. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Healing is possible. Trauma-informed therapy, peer support groups, and grounding practices can help rebuild autonomy and self-trust. Naming the abuse—understanding it as coercion, not personal failure—is a powerful step toward reclaiming power. Above all: the violation was not your fault, and seeking help is a courageous, justified response.

20/09/2025

There is so much grief after narcissistic abuse.
You are grieving the relationship you thought you had, the person you thought they were, the future that will never happen, and the past that is never coming back. You are also grieving the person you were, as well as the sadness about the person you have become. You are grieving everything you lost—including assets, finances, and sometimes even pets. One of the few things that is guaranteed in a relationship with a narcissist is loss.

But it’s not just the loss of a relationship—it’s the loss of *yourself.* You lose your confidence, your sense of safety, your faith in your own judgment, your ability to trust. You may even lose your community, your reputation, or your circle of support, because narcissists often manipulate people around you until you feel completely isolated. By the time you get out, you are not the same person who first walked in. The damage is layered and deep, and rebuilding requires more than just moving on—it requires starting over with parts of yourself you’re still trying to remember.

That kind of grief doesn’t have a timeline. It doesn’t disappear just because the relationship ended. It lingers, it resurfaces, it comes in waves. Some days you may feel strong, and others you may feel shattered by a memory, a trigger, or a simple reminder of everything you lost. Just one of these layers of grief would be enough to overwhelm someone—imagine carrying *all of them* at once. That’s what survivors of narcissistic abuse are left to face.

And then, on top of that, the world tells you to “just get over it.” Those words cut almost as deep as the abuse itself. They reveal a lack of understanding of how profound and devastating this kind of betrayal really is. People who haven’t lived it can’t grasp the depth of the wound. So when someone asks why you aren’t over it yet, you don’t owe them an explanation. Tell them they wouldn’t understand—and that they should be grateful they don’t.

Because only someone who has lived through it knows that you are not just grieving a person—you are grieving a *whole life* that was dismantled piece by piece. And healing from that is not quick, it is not simple, and it is not linear. But the fact that you are still here, still standing, still trying—that in itself is evidence of your strength.

20/09/2025

Grieving will be an important part of your recovery, so embrace it when it comes. After all, you have a lot to grieve over: the end of a relationship, and the person you thought your partner was. They love-bombed you when they first met you, and those feelings are still there—powerful, intoxicating, and hard to let go of. But as much as those moments felt real, you now know they were carefully manufactured. Love-bombing wasn’t love—it was a tactic, a hook, a way to fast-track your attachment so you would overlook the red flags that followed.

This is what makes grieving after narcissistic abuse so uniquely painful. You are not just mourning the end of a relationship—you are mourning the loss of an illusion. You fell in love with a version of them that was never sustainable, a performance designed to capture your heart. The cruelest part is that those memories are genuine to you, even though they were manipulative in intent for them. That creates confusion, longing, and a deep ache for what could have been—if only it had been real.

You may find yourself revisiting the beginning, questioning: *Was any of it real? Did they ever care?* These thoughts are natural, but they are also traps that keep you tied to the fantasy. Instead, remind yourself of the truth: you figured out enough reason to get out. You saw through the mask, and you chose to save yourself. That clarity is no small thing—it is your strength breaking through the fog.

Yes, you probably still have a strong emotional bond to the narcissist. Trauma bonds are powerful, created through cycles of affection and neglect, reward and punishment. They tether you emotionally to the very person who hurt you. But like all wounds, this one heals with time, distance, and intentional care for yourself. Each day away from them weakens the bond, and each step you take toward your own healing strengthens you.

Be glad you ended things when you did, because otherwise you’d still be in that toxic environment, slowly losing more and more of yourself. The grief you feel now is temporary—the pain will ease, the memories will fade, and the longing will soften. What will remain is your resilience, your freedom, and the space to build a life where love is genuine, safe, and nourishing.

The grief is not a sign of weakness—it’s proof that you’re human, that you loved deeply, and that you are capable of healing. Feel it fully, honor it, but also remember: the pain is only temporary. What you’re making room for is far greater than what you left behind.

20/09/2025

Never try to defend yourself against a narcissist.
They already know you’re right, they just want you to go crazy trying to prove it.

This is one of the most exhausting traps victims fall into—believing that if they can just explain clearly enough, show enough evidence, or argue passionately enough, the narcissist will finally understand, admit the truth, or change. But narcissists don’t argue to find truth or resolution; they argue to win, to destabilize, and to keep you spinning in circles.

They are masters of twisting words, shifting blame, and moving the goalposts. You might walk into a conversation with facts, clarity, and calm intent, yet walk away drained, doubting yourself, and questioning your sanity. That’s because the argument was never about what you thought it was—it was about control. The narcissist already knows what they did. They already know the truth of the situation. But admitting it would mean surrendering their power, so instead they bait you into endless defenses until you’re too exhausted to fight back.

This is why self-defense in these situations often backfires. The more you try to prove yourself, the more material they have to twist, mock, or use against you. In their mind, your emotional unraveling is proof of their superiority. They will call you “crazy,” “too sensitive,” or “dramatic,” while skillfully dodging accountability for the very behavior that drove you to desperation.

The antidote is refusing to play their game. You don’t need to prove the truth to someone who is committed to denying it. Your energy is better spent protecting your peace, setting boundaries, and walking away from the circular arguments designed to trap you. Silence, detachment, or a simple, firm boundary robs them of the reaction they crave.

Defending yourself against a narcissist is like trying to argue with quicksand—the more you struggle, the deeper you sink. True strength comes not from convincing them, but from knowing your truth so fully that you no longer need their validation. In the end, you don’t win by proving them wrong—you win by no longer giving them the power to make you question what you already know is right.

19/09/2025

Narcissists enjoy manipulating other people’s emotions, which is why you should never take anything they say to you personally. They are provoking you to get a reaction, to cause drama, and to stir up negative emotions. Belittling, criticizing, and judging others makes them feel superior. Every jab, insult, or backhanded comment isn’t about you—it’s about their need to dominate the emotional atmosphere.

Their words are carefully chosen weapons. If they can make you feel small, insecure, or defensive, they’ve succeeded in shifting the balance of power in their favor. Your reaction becomes their reward, proof that they still hold influence over your inner world. This is why no amount of explaining, justifying, or pleading will ever stop their attacks. To them, your emotional response is the very outcome they’re seeking.

The danger lies in believing their words reflect truth. When you internalize their criticism, you begin to see yourself through their distorted lens. Over time, this erodes your confidence and self-worth. But the reality is that their judgments have nothing to do with who you are and everything to do with their own emptiness. They belittle others not because you are lacking, but because they are.

The most powerful response is detachment. When you stop taking their words personally, you take away their control. This doesn’t mean you become numb or indifferent—it means you recognize their provocations as tactics, not truths. Their insults become background noise instead of personal attacks.

Remember, healthy people don’t gain confidence by tearing others down. Healthy people don’t need to manipulate emotions to feel powerful. Only someone deeply insecure seeks superiority through cruelty. Once you see this clearly, you can step back from their games, protect your peace, and reclaim your sense of worth.

19/09/2025

Those with narcissistic and psychopathic tendencies will pursue you even after they've harmed you to see whatever resources you can provide: whether it be s*x, attention, praise, money, a place to live, or emotional nourishment. They will keep you as part of their "harem" to tap into these resources whenever they like, on their terms and their timetable. Unlike someone who is “just” emotionally unavailable, the narcissist or psychopath has no regret and very little empathy or remorse when it comes to using and abusing you (even if they feign remorse or crocodile tears to get back in your good graces). They will keep you around so long as it benefits them—even if it results in dire consequences for you.

This is because, to them, people are not people—they are resources. You are not seen as a whole human being with needs, feelings, and dignity. You are an object, a tool, something to extract energy and supply from until you are no longer useful. And once they sense you’re running out of what they want, or you begin to resist their exploitation, they’ll often discard you abruptly or cruelly—sometimes while already grooming a new source in the background.

The cycle can feel endless: harm, discard, hoover, repeat. They might return with sweet words, fake promises, or dramatic apologies, only to resume the same behavior once you let them back in. What makes it especially damaging is that they know they’re hurting you. They’ve seen your tears, heard your pleas, and watched you suffer—yet it doesn’t stop them. In some cases, it even fuels them. The ability to cause pain and still have you return reaffirms their sense of power and superiority.

This is not normal relationship conflict—it’s exploitation. Someone emotionally unavailable may struggle with closeness but does not intentionally drain and destroy. A narcissist or psychopath, however, consciously chooses to use you, regardless of the harm it causes. Their lack of remorse allows them to repeat the cycle without pause.

Recognizing this truth is painful but freeing. It shifts the blame off of you—your kindness, loyalty, or hope did not cause this. Their predatory nature did. The most powerful step you can take is to step off their cycle entirely: no longer feeding them your attention, energy, or forgiveness. Their so-called “harem” only exists because targets continue to give. Once you reclaim your worth and refuse to be a resource, you break free of their grasp.

19/09/2025

The time will come in your life when people regret why they treated you wrong. Trust me it will soon come.

One day, when they sit alone with their thoughts, they will realize the weight of their actions. They will remember the moments you stood by them, the times you chose to understand when they gave you every reason not to. They will think back to the love, patience, loyalty, and forgiveness you offered so freely.

By then, you’ll have already moved forward — stronger, wiser, and more peaceful. You won’t be waiting for their apologies or validation because you will have healed beyond needing it. Their regret will be their burden to carry, not yours to relieve.

Stay patient. Stay kind. Stay focused on your growth.
Life has a beautiful way of balancing itself out — and those who wronged you will one day realize they lost someone rare. Meanwhile, you’ll realize losing them was never truly a loss, but a necessary redirection toward better.

19/09/2025

There's a reason narcissistic people try to diminish those who have a healthy self-concept or someone they perceive to have any kind of healthy pride, or emphasize wanting humility in their partners while having none of their own. One of the major reasons is because they want to create chaos through love triangles. It is much more difficult to create or sustain such a triangle when someone has healthy pride in themselves, is unwilling to compete, knows they are irreplaceable and cannot be compared to anyone, has many options of their own, and is confident in their own desirability, beauty, talents, personality, character, achievements, and positive qualities. At that point, they know their victims will see their attempts to triangulate as laughable.

Triangulation is one of the narcissist’s favorite tactics because it stirs insecurity and rivalry. By introducing another person—whether a friend, an ex, a co-worker, or even a stranger—they attempt to trigger jealousy and make you feel as though you must “earn” their attention, affection, or loyalty. But a partner who is grounded in self-worth doesn’t take the bait. They don’t see themselves as competing for scraps of validation, because they know their value isn’t up for debate. This makes them much harder to manipulate.

For the narcissist, this is infuriating. Their entire strategy relies on control, and control is maintained through emotional chaos. If you refuse to play the comparison game, their ability to destabilize you is limited. They need you to question yourself, to feel less than, to scramble for reassurance. Without that insecurity, the triangle collapses before it even begins.

This is why narcissists often try to chip away at their partner’s confidence early in the relationship. They may mock your accomplishments, minimize your talents, or suggest that pride in yourself is arrogance. They will talk endlessly about how they value “humility” in a partner, when in truth, what they really value is compliance. If they can strip you of your confidence, then triangulation becomes effective again—you’ll be more likely to fight for their attention and fall into the toxic competition they thrive on.

But the truth is, real love doesn’t require competition. A healthy partner celebrates your strengths, encourages your pride in who you are, and never needs to pit you against others. The narcissist’s games only hold power if you forget your worth. Once you stand firmly in your confidence, their attempts at triangulation become transparent and powerless.

Fabric

21/09/2025

21/09/2025

21/09/2025

20/09/2025

20/09/2025

20/09/2025

20/09/2025

20/09/2025

19/09/2025

19/09/2025

19/09/2025

19/09/2025

Address

Website

Alerts

Shortcuts

Share