A Merry Loner

12/11/2025

Working on yourself is the most important work of your life.

I'm talking about self-awareness. That doesn't mean hating on yourself and nitpicking all your flaws.

Instead, try this today: What's one thing you kind of messed up on? (It's okay.) And what can you do to do better next time?

12/11/2025

If you’ve tried getting rid of social media before and always failed, don’t be too hard on yourself. There are literally teams of people and hundreds of millions of dollars at work trying to keep you hooked. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

By better understanding your reliance and/or addiction to social media, it’s easier to come up with strategies to beat the bad habit.

These are a few likely reasons you may keep coming back to the monsters:

11/11/2025

Not everything has to be digitized. Sometimes, analog is better.

Paperback books. A moka pot instead of a loud (and expensive Keurig). Candles.

What analog rituals have you adopted lately that bring some calm to the digital chaos?

11/11/2025

The best time to start caring for yourself was yesterday; the next best time is today. These 13 habits create a foundation for long-term wellbeing, inside and out. Build them now and carry their benefits into the future.

Whether you’re a young 20-something or you’re rapidly approaching your 30th year, these are the best habits to develop in your 20s:

09/11/2025

Self-awareness is the foundation of growth. These 7 books are both practical and reflective, offering tools for a deeper understanding of yourself.

Working on yourself is the most important work of your life.

08/11/2025

These analog swaps remind you that not everything meaningful has to be digital. From simple routines to creative outlets, each idea pulls you back into the present. Try one today and notice how grounding it feels.

Is the analog revolution here?

07/11/2025

Growth begins with self-awareness, but it's not always easy to find your starting point. These books help you begin to reflect, learn, and evolve. Start reading today at A Merry Loner.

Working on yourself is the most important work of your life.

06/11/2025

Whether you want craft cocktails, late-night dives, or rooftop views, Providence has a spot for you. This guide lists 26 local-approved bars worth your time. Discover the city's nightlife the way only a native would know it.

I've tried them all—these are the best bars in Providence for friends, dates, and solo time.

14/10/2025

Why is doing things alone so widely considered scary, nerve-wracking, and judgment-inducing?

Societal expectations are a big factor. Young people without a lot of friends are “weird,” and as one approaches the big 30, the pressure is on to find your soulmate. Biology is another factor. Humans are social creatures, and no matter how independent one is, it’s perfectly natural and normal to want to be included, invited, and liked.

But I contend that a big part of the fear, anxiety, and judgment that come with being alone stem from the fact that too many of us don’t really know ourselves all that well.

We might know what kind of friend we are (or want to be). The funny one. The bold one. The empathetic one. What kind of co-worker we are. The creative one. The one who gives kick-ass presentations. The lord or lady of spreadsheets. And though it’s often an internal battle, we have ideas (usually, too many) about who we are (and are trying to be) as lovers, partners, daughters, brothers, fathers, aunts.

But who are you when you aren’t any of these things? Who are you when you are just you, alone with yourself, separate from any titles, tasks, or relationships?

Do you like being with yourself?

Sometimes, that answer is an easy yes. “Yes, I’m funny, smart, and I know I’m pretty cute.” But depending on what the mirror, the meanies, and our internal haters have reported that day, coming up with a comfortable, sunny answer to that question isn’t always a given—especially for the young’uns.

Per a 2021 report from YouGov on how Americans perceive themselves, almost one-quarter (24%) of Americans under 35 “say they don’t like themselves most or all of the time.” (On average, 14% of US adults (aged 18+) had the same sentiment.)

As sad as that statistic is, I don’t believe it’s static. Like that weird friend you didn’t click with at first but now love, sometimes it takes time to love yourself. Learning to enjoy your own company can help you get there.

Go to the link in bio to read the full post on learning how to enjoy your own company.