11/02/2023
Some thoughts:
T-7 days and I will be a mom. My career-driven life will dramatically shift, a shift I never even knew I was craving. I do not think I would have fought to be a mom (chemo killed my ability to carry a baby) if it were not for . I had never experienced downtime, , or dinner with my husband-- until quarantining was a thing.
By not being able to work in an office 24/7, I unearthed my deep want to be a mother and my own ability to have a child. Being raised by a , I never wanted to have a child if I needed to use childcare on a daily basis. Now, my husband and I , providing us with the ability to raise a child the way we envisioned.
We lost our first baby via surrogate on Easter weekend last year, but just three months later our surrogate gifted us with another pregnancy- our healthy baby boy will be born in less than a week. Our baby is 100% biologically ours.
My Type A, career-driven personality continues to go through a dramatic shift, my need to excel in work fighting with my mom energy (as my therapist calls it!).
I am sure many go through this experience, but this is my first time really understanding what it means to be a working mom-- something I will learn even more about when he is actually here.
And as I welcome our baby boy, I will reimagine my career to be the best career it can be, while raising him. He suddenly is a priority, while the rest of the world fades away.
And I live in the limbo of what comes next in a career I've spent a decade building. Will I ever be interviewed again as a ? Will my career fade into the sun like washed-up movie stars?
I have finally gotten to a place where I can say:
I don't know and I don't care.
So, please enjoy some scheduled content while I am becoming Mama Marji, and I will see you on the other side of this giant career abyss.
