06/11/2021
A strange feeling embraces me every time she passes by. Her smiles are familiar, her eyes feel nostalgic. It’s a weird thing and it leaves me wondering.
She’s a newfound friend, about a month ago. Whenever she is around, I feel this strange but familiar presence, of a very important person, which reminds me of a page in my life, about 20 years ago.
We call each other Ne’.It was a cold Christmas Eve afternoon, my best friend and I walked together carrying a box of chocolate-covered cherries. (We tasted some once) and she always swears, “Ne’! I couldn’t live without it.
But when the time comes for making each other's gifts, we separately work.
I would like to buy my best friend a jacket with a hood. I remember Ne’ telling me how she loved the one we saw at the store last month.
I knew Ne’ wanted to give me a bike. She said so on million occasions that passed by. But I am very sure that she is giving me a guitar pick – the same as last year and the years before. Even though it is predictable, I still get excited than ever.
I was 12 and she was 13 when we bought Shari together. She lets me handle it more often since she plays better than I do. After a month of having our guitar I learned to play a few songs, and every Christmas I receive a new pick from her.
After I died, would we still be friends? she asked, I always say yes, but deep inside I am terrified.
That was our last Christmas together. She has rheumatic heart illness. It was a painful loss for a 12-year old, with nothing left but guitar and songs in her heart. Life separates us. And those who KNOW BEST decided that I go and take a better road off to the small city of Naga.
For many years, I got used to the absence, but never forgot the embrace of my best friend's presence. But I know she is happy, wherever she is right now. I am not even sure what happens to people after they die.
As write this I laugh at the realization. Now I know.
Yes Ne, she reminds me of you.