When Love Doesn't Fix It

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When Love Doesn't Fix It A podcast by two adoptive mothers who want to shed light on the other side of adoption.

27/12/2024

đź’ˇ *FASD and Autism: Understanding the Intersection* đź’ˇ

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) are both complex conditions that can coexist, but they are often misunderstood. While they are distinct diagnoses, they share some overlapping characteristics. Here's what to know:

✨ **Similarities**:
- Difficulties with emotional regulation and social interactions.
- Challenges in executive functioning, such as planning and organization.
- Sensory sensitivities, such as being overwhelmed by noise or light.

✨ **Key Differences**:
- FASD is caused by prenatal alcohol exposure, while autism has a multifactorial origin, including genetic and environmental factors.
- FASD often involves physical features and specific learning disabilities that may not be present in autism.

đź©ş**Misdiagnosis**
- Individuals with FASD are often diagnosed with austism, which can lead to therapies that are misdirected. Better understanding for how to treat FASD is greatly needed. However, because of the shame many may feel, many mothers will not admit to prenatal exposure.

đź’› *Support Matters*:
- Individuals with both FASD and autism benefit from structured environments, consistency, and understanding.

26/12/2024

🎄 Supporting Children Through the Holidays 🎄

The holiday season can be a magical time, but for children who’ve experienced trauma, it can also bring challenges. Memories, disruptions to routine, or heightened emotions may feel overwhelming.

Here are a few ways we can help:
✨ Be Patient: Give them space to express their feelings, even if they seem out of place during the festivities.
✨ Create Structure: Maintain familiar routines to provide comfort and security.
✨ Empathize: Listen to their concerns and validate their emotions.
✨ Celebrate Simply: Avoid overstimulation—sometimes, smaller, quieter celebrations mean more.

Also, it's ok to be upset and disappointed when your efforts are largely unreceived. It's not you they are mad at, even when it is directed at you. The sabotage can be very strong, and very disheartening to everyone around them. It's ok to give yourself some much needed space.

23/12/2024

🎄 Let’s talk about holidays and special needs kids. 🎄

Holidays can be a lot—and not just for our kids, but for us as parents too. 🤯

Do you have family that helps out, or do they sit back and judge how you're parenting? Maybe they even offer unsolicited advice like, “Well, when I did it, I just...” 🙄 Does that sound familiar?

For kids with special needs, the holidays can throw off everything—routines, sensory needs, even expectations. And while we’re just trying to keep things together, it can be tough when others don’t quite get it.

What helps you stay sane during the chaos? What strategies or coping tips have you found that help your child (and you!) make it through the season with a little more peace and a little less stress? đź’–

Let’s share and support each other. You’re not alone in this!

22/12/2024

We recently got the diagnosis for our child, and honestly, it was a bit of a rollercoaster. On one hand, getting that official label brought a sense of relief I didn’t even know I needed. It’s like all the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place, and suddenly, things made more sense. The last doctor blew me off. This doctor listened and made sense of my world.

But then on the other hand, the reality hit: this is just the beginning. Now comes the real work of advocating, figuring out what’s going to help our child thrive, and navigating a whole world of services and systems. It’s overwhelming, no doubt. I’ve got the information I need, but it still feels like a lot to manage—like I’m standing at the start of a long journey, trying to figure out the best path forward.

How did you handle getting a diagnosis? Do you think it helped you in your day to day life?

18/12/2024

We've been quiet lately as we are both working with a lot of "extra" things at home. Both Kim and Naomi are working with doctors to get an accurate diagnosis for our kids.

Why?

Finding a missing piece may help us give more targeted care and therapy. Also, there is a huge mental piece when we hear a doctor say, "You are right. Your child isn't neurotypical."

The criticism we face on a daily basis is hard. I (Kim) have had a huge burden lifted just by having someone else recognize the challenge.

15/12/2024

It is impossible to know how life works in a home with special needs children.

And as their parents we do not expect others to understand, for if you did, then your lives would be just as messy as ours.

Typical parenting doesn’t work. Those cutesy reels you share about gentle parenting or informed parenting do not apply to our lives. Even our therapists, doctors and advisers often find themselves out of their depth to give us help.

But what we would like is a little empathy and understanding because sometimes (or maybe most of the times) our lives feel impossible. And every little decision we make has to impact someone.

We do our best. Knowing all the while from the outside there is simply no way to understand why we do what we must.

There are key reasons why they would never make something like this for foster parents 🤣🤣🤣
27/11/2024

There are key reasons why they would never make something like this for foster parents 🤣🤣🤣

Many children who have suffered deep trauma have narcissistic tendencies. Both Kim and Naomi have experienced this type ...
12/10/2024

Many children who have suffered deep trauma have narcissistic tendencies.

Both Kim and Naomi have experienced this type of behavior from our children.

16/09/2024

Lack of understanding or care is a hard pill to swallow.

29/06/2024

"Childhood trauma isn’t something you just get over as you grow up. Pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris explains that the repeated stress of abuse, neglect and parents struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain. This unfolds across a lifetime, to the point where those who’ve experienced high levels of trauma are at triple the risk for heart disease and lung cancer. An impassioned plea for pediatric medicine to confront the prevention and treatment of trauma, head-on."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95ovIJ3dsNk

While the graphic refers to "she," this trauma truth applies to all genders. Graphic credit: Beth Tyson Trauma Consultin...
27/05/2024

While the graphic refers to "she," this trauma truth applies to all genders.

Graphic credit: Beth Tyson Trauma Consulting

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