Nope We're Not Monogamous

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Nope We're Not Monogamous

Helping adventurous people break the social conditioning of toxic monogamy.

26/07/2026

In the whirlwind of new relationship energy (NRE) remember that you can slow it down, draw it out, prolong it, and it's still going to be there, it's not going to go away.

This energy, with all its excitement, isn't fleeting, it's deeply rooted in our biology.

Our brains are wired to produce these feel-good chemicals for a very specific reason, primarily to draw us towards intimacy.

They just want us to do the deed… that's just what our brains want us to do. 😏

Buuut you can actually take it slow and stay grounded and maintain your connection to your inner self.

This way, you fully savor the NRE without losing yourself in its intensity.

Go on the journey at your own pace, knowing that the magic of NRE doesn't just vanish, it evolves with you.

24/07/2026

How many times have you heard "people can only love you as much as you love yourself"? ⁣⁣

Did it make sense to you? ⁣⁣

Or did you wonder what the f**k that means? ⁣⁣

I know I did. Haha! ⁣⁣

The IDEA of self love used to feel like exactly that... An idea that had no real substance or meaning that I could really wrap my head around. ⁣

I thought, "clearly I love myself, doesn't everyone?"⁣⁣

But my actions, my lack of boundaries, my self sabotage, and a hundred other things all said otherwise. ⁣⁣

The thing that helped me to recognize what self love was and what it felt like was falling in love. ⁣⁣

I used to think that falling in love meant that the person I loved made me feel amazing. They made me soooo happy. They made my life feel better. ⁣⁣

Things really started to shift was when I realized that what made me feel so good was ME!⁣

That amazing feeling of falling in love came from me. My lover was simply reflecting back to me all the things that are amazing about me. ⁣⁣

This person fell in love with the very best parts of me and this feeling was really love for myself, reflected in someone else's eyes. They were a mirror. ⁣⁣

Life feels so good when we are falling in love because we see ourselves at our best. ⁣⁣

And when I started to turn that delicious, ooey-gooey in-love feeling back onto myself?

Magic. Life started to expand, like I’d finally cracked the code to the Holy Grail of personal growth.

If this resonates with you post a fun lovey emoji or gif in the comments. 😍🥰

22/07/2026

Change is not only inevitable, it's essential. When your energy is flowing with the changes in life you'll find it is so much easier to move towards what you desire than it is to keep things from changing.

Most people start by telling me what they don't don't want, what they're scared of, and what they're afraid to lose.

When all of your energy is going towards keeping things the same, towards preventing change, and towards avoiding the discomfort of the unknown, then you are working against a true force of nature.

When you shift into what you DO want, what you want to keep, what you are excited for, that's where the magic happens. That's where you're able to create design the life and relationships of your dreams.

It's so important to know what your desires are and to feel safety and acceptance when you express them.

This is one of the key concepts I share with my relationship coaching clients.

08/07/2026

In this episode of Nope! We're Not Monogamous, I'm joined by Red DeRooy and Stacey Smith?, co-authors of Nonmonogamy and Group Dynamics, to explore what it really takes to build healthy relationship communities.

We talk about why polycules function more like communities than relationship structures, how many of the skills you already use in friendships can help you navigate non-monogamy, and why curiosity is often more valuable than certainty.

Whether you're part of a large polycule, have close metamour relationships, or are simply trying to build stronger connections with the people you love, this conversation is packed with practical insights.

02/07/2026

What happens when polyamory becomes more than just a couple opening their relationship?

What happens when you're navigating a whole web of partners, metamours, friendships, shifting dynamics, and found family?

This week on Nope! We're Not Monogamous, I sit down with Red DeRooy and Stacey Smith?, authors of Nonmonogamy and Group Dynamics, to talk about building healthy polycules, managing conflict without blowing everything up, communicating through complexity, and why you probably already have more relationship skills than you realize.

One of my favorite takeaways:
💜 You don't need to know everything. Bring curiosity.

If you've ever wondered how to create stronger, healthier relationship communities, this episode is for you.

🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts!

09/06/2026

Here’s a truth that’s not always easy to face: sometimes, your jealousy isn’t a sign of personal weakness or irrational fears.

Sometimes, it’s a legitimate response to something real, like your partner’s behavior.
There’s a huge difference between jealousy that stems from your own insecurities and jealousy that arises because someone isn’t treating you well.

But when you’re in the thick of it, it can be hard to tell which one you’re dealing with.

I often work with clients who’ve spent years blaming themselves for being “too sensitive” or “too needy,” when the reality is that their partner was crossing boundaries, withholding affection, or acting in ways that fueled their doubts.

And that’s where the right skills come in.
It’s not just about managing your emotions.

It’s about learning to tell the difference between your own triggers and the red flags in your relationship.

It’s about developing the confidence to speak up when something feels off, and the clarity to know when it’s not just in your head.

Because the truth is, sometimes it’s not about fixing jealousy.
Sometimes it’s about addressing the behavior that’s making you feel this way.

If you’re ready to build the skills to understand what’s really going on and take action from a place of strength, join me in Beyond Jealousy Here. Let’s make that transformation a reality together.

If you still have questions, just dm me

04/06/2026

The thing nobody talks about in non-monogamy is how healing it is to be in a room where nobody questions your relationship style.

02/06/2026

People often ask:

"What exactly do you teach inside Beyond Jealousy?"

Not magic.
Not toxic positivity.
Not "just be more secure."

We work on things like:

→ nervous system regulation
→ attachment patterns
→ communication tools
→ self-worth
→ emotional processing
→ comparison spirals
→ boundaries
→ reassurance
→ somatic practices

Because jealousy isn't usually the root issue.

It's the symptom.

When you start addressing what's underneath the jealousy, everything changes.

Including how you show up in your relationships. 💜

01/06/2026

One of the things I hear most often from people before they join Beyond Jealousy is:

"I feel ridiculous for struggling this much."

They're exhausted.

Constantly checking.
Comparing.
Overthinking.
Trying to predict every possible outcome.
Feeling embarrassed by how activated they get.

And I get it.

Because I used to be that person too.

The good news is you don't have to become a person who never feels jealous.

You just need to become someone who knows how to support themselves when jealousy shows up.

That's a very different goal.

And it's a whole lot more achievable. 💜

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