11/08/2026
There’s this idea floating around in the coaching and creator world that “performing” is the opposite of being real.
I get it... Nobody wants to watch someone who feels like they’re reading from a teleprompter, even when they say good morning. The stiffness, the over-produced energy, the content that feels like a press release from a person…
That’s what we don’t want to feel like when we say “I just want to be real.”
But what I think we’re actually saying is: I haven’t learned the craft yet, and I’m preemptively naming that as a value.
I trained as an actor. The whole thing about acting (the part most people don’t know) is that the goal is never to “perform”. The goal is to be so prepared that you can be completely present. You basically do the work so the “work” disappears and it comes across as “easy”, as “natural”. But there has to be preparation before the camera starts rolling.
Being relaxed on camera is a skill. Being warm and specific and not weird about eye contact is a skill. Knowing when to pause, when to speed up, how to hold a thought without losing the thread… all of it, learnable. None of it is natural in the beginning. Noooone of it!
So when someone tells me they don’t want to perform, I always want to ask: what do you think performing actually is?
If your answer is “being fake,” then we agree completely. But if performing means being intentional, being prepared, being someone who has actually thought about what they want to say and how they want to say it… I’d push back.
That’s not performing.. that’s actually *respect* for the person watching.
The coaches who act like being good on camera is beneath them... I find that SO interesting. Because what they’re really saying is: I shouldn’t have to try.
They think they’re being humble, but that’s just snobbery (with a softer name).
You can be real AND be skilled. Those are not in competition. The most present people on camera (the ones who feel like they’re just talking to you) have usually put in the most work to get there.
Save this for the next time someone tells you performing is the same as being fake.
