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Exploring Books, Lagos (2025)

31/10/2025

Some books don’t just speak to you, they speak for the version of you that had to stay quiet for far too long. "Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" is one of those rare, healing companions. Stephanie Kriesberg writes with such clarity and compassion that readers who have lived under the emotional shadow of a narcissistic mother will finally feel truly seen, not as the “problem,” not as the “too sensitive” one, but as a human being deserving of tenderness, peace, and self-trust.

Below are seven transformative lessons this book helps us internalize; slowly, gently, and powerfully.

1. Understanding the emotional inheritance
Kriesberg explains how narcissistic mothers often make affection conditional; praise comes when you perform, criticism arrives when you show independence. Recognizing this emotional blueprint is the first step in rewriting it. The book validates that your mother’s inability to love emotionally was never your fault.

2. Why the “good daughter” role feels impossible to escape
So many daughters become high-achievers, pleasers, fixers; always hoping that this time they’ll finally be “enough.” The book reveals how this survival role becomes an adult burden, shaping relationships, careers, and self-worth. And then, it teaches how to gently put that burden down.

3. Boundaries aren’t cruelty, they are healing
Setting limits with a narcissistic parent often triggers guilt, fear, and backlash. Kriesberg offers scripts, tools, and the permission many women need: protecting your mental health is not disrespectful, it is self-respect.

4. Grieving the mother you needed but didn’t get
This is the hardest part — accepting that the nurturing, emotionally safe mother you hoped for may never exist. Kriesberg guides readers through this grief with such delicacy. The lesson: healing requires mourning, not minimizing.

5. Learning to trust your inner voice again
Narcissistic parents often train children to doubt their perceptions. “That never happened,” “You’re too sensitive,” “Don’t be dramatic.” The book shows how to reclaim your intuition, to believe your memories, honor your feelings, and choose yourself.

6. Releasing the shame that was never yours
Daughters often internalize their mother’s projections; her rage, her insecurity, her emptiness. Kriesberg helps readers hand that shame back. The message comes through powerfully: you were not born broken, you were made to feel that way.

This book doesn’t ask you to hate your mother, it asks you to stop abandoning yourself. It invites you to reclaim your voice, your worth, your future. And page by page, it replaces a lifetime of emotional noise with something steadier, kinder, and true:

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31/10/2025

Some people don’t say thank you. They weaponize silence. People who only know closeness as control, and intimacy as invasion. People whose love feels more like a trap than a refuge. You try. You stay kind. You make excuses. But deep down, it hurts. Over and over again.

Debbie Ellis knows these people intimately, not because she’s met them, but because we all have one. A parent, a partner, a sibling, a friend, someone whose emotional spikes make closeness feel like self-betrayal. Sometimes, we are the porcupines—bristling with fear disguised as fury, pushing away the hands that long to soothe us.

How to Hug a Porcupine isn’t about changing that person or fixing the impossible. It’s about changing you—the way you respond, the stories you carry, the boundaries you set. It’s about how to love someone without letting them undo you. It’s for the part of you that wants to keep caring without being consumed. Here are five lessons I carried away like bandages:

1. The Dance of Dysfunction Has Two Partners
Here’s the hard truth Ellis doesn’t shy away from: painful relationships need our participation to keep existing. Not because we cause their behavior—but because we respond to it in familiar, predictable ways. We absorb. We chase. We over-function. We confuse intensity for love and chaos for closeness.

It’s not about blame—it’s about awareness. We reach for their quills, hoping this time they won’t cut. Ellis invites us to step out of that dance. To realize that while we can’t control their patterns, we can choose different choreography. The moment you stop playing your part in the cycle, everything shifts.

2. Boundaries Are Love Letters to Yourself
We’ve been taught that boundaries are mean. That they push people away. That they make us cold. But Ellis flips that on its head: boundaries, she says, are sacred. They aren’t punishments—they’re protection. And not just for you, but sometimes for the relationship itself.

When you stop absorbing someone else’s dysfunction, you stop enabling it. When you step back instead of rushing in, you give them space to grow—or not. You stop trying to fix, manage, or cushion every consequence. You let your “no” become an act of clarity, not cruelty. And sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is stop turning yourself into a sponge for someone else's pain.

3. You Cannot Heal What You Did Not Break
One of the most freeing things Ellis offers is this: Their pain is not your project.
Yes, they’re wounded. Yes, their cruelty probably comes from their own unhealed places. But you didn’t cause that. And you can’t cure it. Trying to love someone into healing doesn’t make you a hero—it makes you exhausted.

You don’t have to carry what doesn’t belong to you. You don’t have to keep bleeding just because they never learned how to be soft. Letting go of the responsibility for someone else's healing might be the first real act of love you’ve shown yourself.

4. Love Without Rescue Is Still Love
This book is a quiet rebellion against everything we were taught about love needing to “save.” You can care deeply for someone and still step back. You can want the best for them without making yourself the offering. Ellis reminds us that love doesn’t mean losing yourself in someone else’s chaos. It means bearing witness to their pain without making it your identity. You don’t have to be the hero. You don’t have to be the fix. You just have to be whole. And sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is model wholeness—even if they never choose to follow.

5. Your Softness Can Survive This
Here’s the beautiful ache at the center of it all: even after everything, your heart can remain open. Not wide open to harm, but open in its wisdom. Soft without being naïve. Compassionate without collapsing. Ellis doesn’t ask you to walk away from the people you love. She asks you to stop walking away from yourself.

The goal isn’t to turn porcupines into puppies. It’s to stop pretending their spikes are your fault. To stop shrinking yourself just to feel safe. To stop calling it love when it only ever leaves you bleeding.

The book not only teaches you to survive difficult people, but it also reminds you of your own worth in their presence. It’s a gentle, necessary reminder that you can love deeply and still keep your skin intact. Because real love, healthy love, doesn’t pierce. It protects.

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31/10/2025

When I first saw the title Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them by Dr. Susan Forward, I hesitated. The word hate felt too harsh, too exaggerated. Surely it couldn’t apply to the man I once loved—the one who could be tender one moment and distant the next. But as I kept reading, my resistance softened into recognition. This wasn’t a book about villains—it was about the subtle, quiet forms of harm that exist in relationships we tell ourselves are simply “complicated.”

Dr. Susan Forward writes with the precision of a therapist and the empathy of someone who has listened to countless women try to understand how they lost themselves in love. Her tone is gentle but firm, compassionate yet uncompromising. She names the behaviors we’ve excused, the red flags we’ve repainted, the pain we’ve mistaken for passion.

She reveals how some men carry deep, unhealed resentment toward women—anger born long before you entered the picture—and how that buried hostility emerges as control, sarcasm, emotional distance, and the steady erosion of a woman’s self-worth.

These men may never yell or hit, but you still find yourself shrinking—quietly contorting to keep the peace. And this book forces you to confront what that shrinking costs.

Lessons That Changed Me

Love cannot cure contempt
No amount of patience or tenderness can heal someone who feels powerful by making you small. Until he confronts his own wounds, your love will only become another battlefield.

Emotional abuse wears a charming face
Warm today, cold tomorrow—just enough love to keep you hopeful, just enough cruelty to keep you questioning yourself. The confusion is not accidental; it’s control disguised as care. Recognizing it is your first step to freedom.

Self-blame is the invisible prison
You start whispering to yourself:
If I were calmer… more understanding… less sensitive…
Dr. Forward dismantles that lie. You are not too much. He simply needs you to be less so he can feel more.

Boundaries are not cruelty—they’re clarity
Saying no to mistreatment isn’t punishment; it’s protection. When you stop labeling disrespect as “stress” or “miscommunication,” you begin to rediscover your self-worth.

Healing sometimes means leaving
We fall in love with potential—the version of him who made us feel seen at first. But hope without change is just another form of heartbreak. Choosing yourself isn’t betrayal—it’s the beginning of recovery.

Reading this book feels like someone pulling open the curtains after years of darkness. You begin to see the truth you never had words for. You realize that love should not require your disappearance.

Dr. Forward doesn’t offer easy comfort—she offers a way back.
Back to self-trust.
Back to dignity.
Back to a kind of love that nurtures, not diminishes.

Because real love isn’t the kind that finally saves him—
it’s the kind that finally saves you.

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31/10/2025

The Laws of Luck by Brian Tracy is not just another self-help book that promises to reveal the secret formula to success. Instead, it is an insightful exploration of how we can unlock opportunities, increase our chances of success, and shape our own version of luck through practical strategies and a shift in mindset. Tracy, renowned for his expertise in personal development, applies his decades of experience to dissect how we often misinterpret luck as something entirely out of our control. In this book, he offers a refreshing perspective—one that redefines luck as a combination of preparation, action, and attitude. This book was a revelation for me, showing that luck isn’t a random stroke of fate, but rather something we can actively create through our daily choices. Here are seven key lessons that have helped me rethink luck and how we can all become more "lucky" in our own lives.

7 Lessons I Learned from The Laws of Luck:

1. Luck is a Result of Preparation
Tracy's central thesis is that luck isn’t something that simply happens to us; it’s a result of preparation meeting opportunity. He argues that the more prepared we are in our personal and professional lives, the more "lucky" we will appear to be. This idea shifted my view completely. Rather than waiting for luck to find me, I now see the value in being ready for it, knowing that consistent effort and preparation create the conditions for lucky breaks to occur.

2. Your Attitude Determines Your Luck
Tracy emphasizes the power of a positive, proactive attitude. He suggests that a mindset focused on opportunity and growth attracts luck, whereas a negative or closed-off attitude repels it. This lesson taught me that luck is not purely about external factors but is deeply influenced by the way we think and perceive the world around us. A shift in attitude, therefore, has been the most practical change I’ve made in increasing my own luck.

3. The Law of Cause and Effect
One of the most powerful laws discussed in the book is the Law of Cause and Effect, which states that everything we do has consequences. Tracy explains that by consistently taking positive actions, we generate positive results, which in turn increases our chances of attracting good fortune. I was reminded that luck is often a consequence of the actions we take, and every small decision or effort contributes to the larger picture of our success.

4. You Must Take Risks to Create Luck
Tracy writes extensively about the importance of taking calculated risks in order to generate opportunities for luck. While fear of failure often holds us back, Tracy argues that the most successful people are those who are willing to step outside their comfort zones and take chances. This lesson was eye-opening for me—it encouraged me to embrace risk as an integral part of creating my own luck rather than something to be feared.

5. Opportunities are Everywhere—You Just Have to See Them
One of the most valuable takeaways from the book is that opportunities are often disguised as challenges or obstacles. Tracy teaches us to train ourselves to spot these hidden opportunities and make the most of them. I realized how often I’ve overlooked potential "lucky" moments simply because I didn’t recognize them in the form they took. Now, I approach challenges with curiosity, knowing that there might be a hidden opportunity waiting for me.

6. Luck is Linked to Persistence
Another core lesson in The Laws of Luck is the importance of persistence. Tracy emphasizes that luck often comes to those who refuse to give up, even when the odds are against them. Success is not just about brilliance or breakthrough moments; it’s about staying the course and continuing to push forward, even when the path seems unclear. This lesson reminded me that true luck isn’t just about moments of serendipity—it’s about creating a momentum that attracts favorable outcomes over time.

7. The Law of Attraction Works with Focused Intent
Finally, Tracy connects the concept of luck to the Law of Attraction, emphasizing that by focusing on specific goals and intentions, we are more likely to draw opportunities toward us. He explains that by visualizing success and putting our energy into our goals, we make ourselves more likely to "attract" the conditions needed for our luck to manifest. This lesson inspired me to not only set clear goals but also to concentrate my energy and focus on them with the belief that the universe will conspire to bring those goals into reality.

In conclusion, The Laws of Luck is a masterclass in understanding how we can shape our own fortunes through intentional action, attitude, and persistence. Brian Tracy does a remarkable job of showing us that luck is not just about waiting for a chance encounter or a random stroke of fortune—it’s about creating the right conditions in our lives to allow opportunities to flow. These seven lessons have deeply impacted my outlook on success and have inspired me to take control of my own destiny, knowing that luck is not just something we hope for, but something we can actively create.

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30/10/2025

💛 "Strong Mothers, Strong Sons" — Reflections on Raising Boys with Strength and Heart

“Strong Mothers, Strong Sons” by Dr. Meg Meeker isn’t just another parenting book.
It’s a heartfelt guide that reminds mothers they play one of the most powerful roles in shaping a man’s future — not through perfection, but through love, faith, and presence.
Here are some key takeaways that truly stayed with me:

1. The Power of a Mother-Son Bond
A boy’s first understanding of love, trust, and respect comes from his mother.
Meeker shows that a mother’s steady presence builds her son’s confidence and teaches him what emotional safety feels like.

2. Emotional Connection Matters
It’s not about fixing your son’s problems — it’s about listening.
Creating a space where he feels seen, heard, and accepted helps him grow into a man who isn’t afraid of emotions.

3. Boundaries Create Security
Strong mothers don’t let love turn into leniency.
They set clear limits, not out of control, but out of care — showing their sons that real love sometimes says “no.”

4. Building Confidence Through Encouragement
Every boy needs to know that his mother believes in him.
Praise him for his effort, guide him through mistakes, and remind him that his worth isn’t tied to success or failure.

5. Teaching Independence and Resilience
Letting your son struggle doesn’t make you a bad mom.
It makes you brave.
Because the moment you let him fall — and watch him rise again — you’re teaching him how to live with courage.

6. Instilling Values and Integrity
Kindness, honesty, empathy — these aren’t just words, they’re habits learned at home.
When mothers model these virtues, sons carry them into the world.

7. Navigating Peer Pressure and Social Media
The world is louder than ever, and boys are constantly being told who they should be.
Meeker reminds mothers to help their sons stay grounded — guiding them through the noise with calm and clarity.

8. Supporting Dreams and Curiosity
Encourage your son to ask questions, explore, and even fail.
The best thing a mother can do for her son’s future is to nurture his curiosity and support his passions, wherever they lead.

9. Modeling Healthy Relationships
Boys learn what love looks like from the women who raise them.
When a mother shows respect, communicates openly, and sets boundaries, her son learns how to build relationships rooted in the same values.

10. Celebrating Masculinity
To raise a strong man, we must honor masculinity — not by hardening boys, but by teaching them that strength and gentleness can coexist.
True manhood, Meeker reminds us, is built on courage, compassion, and character.

This book doesn’t preach.
It speaks — softly, truthfully — to every mother who’s ever wondered if she’s doing enough.
It reminds us that being strong doesn’t mean being perfect; it means showing up, again and again, with love that never quits.

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30/10/2025

Key insights from the book Decoding Boys by Dr. Cara Natterson,

There’s this moment every parent of a boy hits—it sneaks up on you. One day he’s telling you everything, the next he’s quiet, locked in his room, face glowing from a screen, and you’re wondering, “Where did my little boy go?”

Reading Decoding Boys felt like finally sitting with someone who gets it. Dr. Cara Natterson doesn’t lecture or hand out impossible rules. She just pulls back the curtain on what’s happening inside boys as they move through puberty—emotionally, physically, mentally—and shows us how to meet them where they are instead of where we wish they’d be.

What I loved most is how real it feels. She talks about the awkward silences, the rolled eyes, the moments you think you’ve lost him forever. But beneath it all, there’s still that same little boy who wants to know you’ve got his back. It’s just that his world is suddenly changing so fast—body, hormones, friendships, the unspoken pressure to “be a man”—and he doesn’t have the words for it yet.

This book made me rethink how I talk to boys. Instead of drilling them with questions they’ll never answer, Dr. Natterson shows how listening—truly listening—can be more powerful than any lecture. She reminds us that boys need space to figure things out, but they also need safe adults who won’t freak out when they finally open up.

There’s humor here too. Puberty is messy and weird, and the book lets you laugh about it instead of treating it like a crisis. At the same time, it quietly asks us to be brave enough to talk about the hard stuff—mental health, body image, even porn—because silence only makes boys feel more alone.

The biggest gift Decoding Boys gives is hope. Hope that even when your son slams the door, you can still build connection. Hope that the clumsy conversations you’re having now are laying down trust he’ll return to later. Hope that this wild, awkward stage isn’t the end of closeness but the start of a new kind of relationship.

If you’ve ever looked at your son and thought, “I’m losing him,” this book feels like someone gently taking your hand and whispering, “You’re not. You just need a new way to reach him.”

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30/10/2025

"Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong enough."

Og Mandino’s early life was filled with hardship and despair. Born in 1923, he struggled with alcoholism, depression, and failed attempts at a career, even contemplating su***de. One day, he discovered a book in a library that changed everything: it inspired him to rewrite his life through discipline, persistence, and self-belief. This personal transformation became the foundation for The Greatest Salesman in the World, a book designed to teach timeless principles of success, not just in sales, but in life. Mandino’s story shows that the habits we cultivate and the mindset we adopt can turn the most broken circumstances into extraordinary achievements.

7 Lessons from The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino

1. Form good habits and follow them daily.
Mandino emphasizes that small, consistent actions — repeated every day — compound into massive success. Success is not a single act but the sum of disciplined routines.

2. Embrace persistence over talent.
Even the most skilled person fails without persistence. Mandino’s scrolls teach that determination, resilience, and unwavering commitment to your goals outweigh natural ability.

3. Live each day as if it were your last.
Value time, make meaningful choices, and act with purpose. Business owners thrive when every decision is intentional and every interaction counted.

4. Love yourself and others in your work.
Selling and leadership are not just about transactions — they are about relationships. Mandino highlights that genuine care and integrity create trust, loyalty, and long-term success.

5. Control your emotions, especially fear and anger.
Emotions can derail both personal and business success. Mandino teaches that self-mastery allows you to respond rationally and confidently, even in the face of challenges.

6. Set clear goals and visualize success.
A clear vision guides action and fosters motivation. By imagining success vividly, you prime your mind to take the steps necessary to achieve it.

7. Treat failures as lessons, not defeats.
Every setback is an opportunity to learn, grow, and refine your approach. Mandino stresses that those who persevere and adapt ultimately achieve greatness.

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30/10/2025

The book Atomic Habits by James Clear teaches that tiny habits practiced daily can lead to substantial improvements. It's part of the series '15 Books That Will Change Your Life'.

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30/10/2025

It has been passed down through the ages, highly coveted, hidden, lost, stolen, and bought for vast sums of money. Fragments of this Great Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries. It has been understood by some of the most prominent people in history: Plato, Galileo, Beethoven, Edison, Carnegie, and Einstein, along with other renowned inventors, theologians, scientists, and great thinkers.
For the first time, all the pieces of the Secret come together in an incredible revelation that will be life transforming for all who experience it.

In this audiobook you will discover the Secret, and you will learn how to have, do, or be anything you want. You will learn how to use the Secret in every area of your life. You will hear from modern-day teachers - men and women who have used the Secret to achieve health, prosperity, relationships, and happiness. They share their incredible stories of using the Secret to eradicate disease, acquire massive wealth, overcome obstacles, and achieve what many would regard as impossible. Through them, you will begin to understand the hidden, untapped power that is within you, and the true magnificence that awaits you.

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30/10/2025

"You don’t need to win every battle—just stop letting people pull you into them."

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30/10/2025

Have you ever felt your throat tighten with unspoken words, your heart heavy with feelings you couldn’t name—let alone express? Have you ever sat in silence, wondering if anyone could truly understand you… if only you knew how to tell them what was going on inside?

Reading Communicate Your Feelings by Nic Saluppo felt like opening a window in a room I didn’t realize had grown so dark. It’s not just a guide to saying what’s on your mind—it’s a compassionate invitation to return to yourself, to listen to the messages your emotions are quietly trying to send. This book doesn’t rush you. It doesn’t shame you. Instead, it gently teaches you that your feelings are not burdens or problems to be solved—but signals. Invitations. Truths.

In these pages, I didn’t just learn how to communicate better—I learned how to feel more honestly. And in doing so, I uncovered parts of myself I’d long ignored. Below are 10 introspective lessons I gathered from this journey—lessons that didn’t just inform me, but slowly, gently, began to transform me.

1. Feelings are messengers, not enemies.
For years, I treated my emotions like interruptions—something to suppress, justify, or fix. But Saluppo reframes them as internal signals carrying valuable information. I started asking: What is this feeling trying to tell me? That simple question shifted everything. Anxiety became a cue to check my boundaries. Sadness became a signal of loss or unmet needs. And anger? A defender of my dignity.

2. Emotional awareness starts with slowing down.
We rush through our days, barely registering how we feel. Saluppo helped me see that emotional literacy requires presence. I began taking pauses throughout the day—just 30 seconds to notice my body, my breath, my internal weather. These moments of stillness helped me catch emotions in real time instead of after they erupted.

3. You cannot express what you don’t first understand.
There was a time I tried to “talk it out” while still tangled in emotional confusion. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t go well. Saluppo offers a process: notice, name, explore, then express. I started journaling before hard conversations. I mapped my feelings like a landscape. By the time I opened my mouth, clarity had replaced chaos.

4. Avoiding conflict is a slow erosion of self.
I used to believe that silence kept the peace. But in truth, it bred resentment. I learned that avoiding emotional honesty slowly chips away at intimacy and self-respect. Speaking up doesn’t destroy connection—it deepens it when done with courage and care.

5. You don’t need to fix others’ emotions to validate them.
This one hit me hard. I’ve always been the fixer, the comforter. But Saluppo taught me the sacredness of simply being with someone in their feeling. “That sounds really painful,” has become one of the most powerful things I can say. No fixing. Just witnessing.

6. Vulnerability is not weakness—it’s clarity wrapped in courage.
I used to tremble at the idea of saying, “I feel hurt.” Now I see it as the beginning of healing. Vulnerability has changed my relationships. When I began using feeling statements instead of blame, people heard me differently. Walls came down. Hearts softened.

7. Repression leads to explosions. Expression leads to peace.
Bottling up my feelings never made them disappear—it only delayed their impact. Saluppo helped me understand the difference between emotional control and emotional suppression. Expression, I’ve learned, is a release valve for the soul. A way to prevent the build-up from becoming a blow-up.

8. Emotional fluency is a practice, not a personality trait.
I used to say, “I’m just not good at talking about my feelings.” That was a story I learned to unlearn. Saluppo breaks emotional communication down into accessible steps. With practice, I’ve built muscles I never thought I had. And like any language, fluency grows with use.

9. Listening is a form of love.
Before, I listened to respond. Now, I listen to understand. Saluppo reminds us that holding space for someone’s emotions without judgment is one of the most powerful gifts we can offer. I’ve learned to be present, to reflect back what I hear, to offer curiosity instead of correction.

10. You deserve to be heard—especially by yourself.
This final lesson was perhaps the most healing. For so long, I minimized my feelings, questioned my right to voice them. Saluppo’s words invited me to come home to myself. To sit with my truth, without apology. And in doing so, I’ve started building a life where my feelings are no longer hidden—but honored.

If you’ve ever longed to feel seen—not just by others, but by yourself—Communicate Your Feelings is the guide you didn’t know you needed. It doesn’t promise quick fixes or perfect conversations. But it does offer something more lasting: the tools to speak from the heart, live with integrity, and connect with others in ways that are brave, tender, and true.

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Exploring Books

31/10/2025

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