07/06/2025
I hate to see TTW recommend Michael and Debi Pearl's book, "To Train Up a Child." It is an awful, graceless book, and contrary to Lori's opinion, the recommended tactics are abusive.
A main theme of this book is obedience training. (Side note: The Pearls liken obedience training in children to training animals, (Pages 3 and 4) which is off-putting since children are NOT animals; they are HUMAN BEINGS with a spirit, soul, personality, and emotions).
But back to the training. Michael and Debi Pearl describe it like this: "Training is the conditioning of the child's mind before the crisis arises. It is preparation for future, instant unquestioning obedience." (Page 4)
Disturbingly, the Pearls recommend starting obedience training when children are babies. Yes, babies.
Here is what they write:
"When my children were able to crawl (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions.
Try it yourself. Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in a "No-No" corner or on the apple juice table (another name for the coffee table). When they spy it and make a dive for it, in a calm voice say, "No, don't touch that."
Since they are already familiar with the word, "No," they will pause, look at you in wonder and then turn around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously say, "No." Remember, you are not disciplining, you are training.
One spat with a little switch is enough. They will again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between the object, their desire, the command, and the little reinforcing pain. It may take several times, but if you are consistent, they will learn to consistently obey, even in your absence." (Page 5)
They then bizarrely compare this scenario to Adam and Eve being commanded not to partake in the forbidden fruit (Page 5). (As if a curious BABY reaching for objects can at all, with any credibility, be compared to the serpent appearing to two adults in the garden and dissuading them from believing the instructions God himself had just given them).
As I read through this book, I am struck by how the Pearls can seemingly think of few other ways to parent children than to use violence. Here is another scenario they share:
"One of our girls, who developed mobility early, had a fascination with crawling up stairs. At five months, she was too unknowing to be punished for disobedience. But for her own good we attempted to train her not to climb the stairs by coordinating the voice command of "No" with little spats on her bare legs. The switch was a twelve-inch long, one-eighth-inch diameter sprig from a willow tree." (Page 9)
I'm not sure why the Pearls would rather hit their baby with a switch rather than just get a baby gate. ?? Apart from that, I would frankly feel like a terrible person if I did this to a baby. It is appalling all the way around.
There is nothing virtuous about the Pearls' parenting methods, and TTW's glowing endorsement of them is problematic.
