A Christian Response to the Transformed Wife

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A Christian Response to the Transformed Wife Living in grace and dignity

03/01/2026

It’s fascinating to watch patriarchal men jibber jabber about how being a full-time wife and mother is the most valuable and important job in the world (they love to lecture about how it needs to be uplifted and honored more in society) and THEN subsequently treat their wives as subordinates who owe them s*x and obedience for their unilateral economic provision.

This is a dynamic that stinks to high heaven that is very present in patriarchal Christianity.

Here’s the deal:

If a man believes his economic provision entitles him to a subservient wife, he does NOT actually truly believe that being a full-time wife and mother is inherently the most important, valuable job a woman could have.

Men who truly believe that being a
full-time wife and mother is a very valuable job with inherent dignity will regard his wife as CONTRIBUTING EQUALLY to the household and to the “team” even though her labor is unpaid.

And when a man truly believes his wife is contributing equally to the household, it is impossible for him to be of the mindset that he is owed anything or should be absolved of assisting with basic household help because of his economic provision for her.

When a man really and truly views a wife’s contributions as different BUT EQUAL, there is mutual gratefulness and respect for what each is bringing to the table for the good of the household. Being the financial breadwinner will not bring a sense of entitlement or superiority.

I can think of a lot of awful things that can weaken and destroy a marriage (i.e. infidelity, addiction, lying, verbal a...
02/01/2026

I can think of a lot of awful things that can weaken and destroy a marriage (i.e. infidelity, addiction, lying, verbal abuse). A husband doing the dishes doesn’t usually make my list.😂

Frankly, this assertion by TTW is a glimpse into her own marriage. Once again, she is projecting her own marriage problems onto all women and promoting dysfunction.

Lest you think I am making assumptions, here is Ken, TTW’s husband, in his own words on an old blog post where he detailed TTW’s frustration that he was not doing enough to help her. (Link in comments)

“Hardly was I focused on housework after working a sixty hour week, and to be honest, I really detested household chores. But I had no issues caring for the kids, or cooking meals, and vacuuming. But dishes and cleaning was not my idea of my role in the relationship.”

So, there you have It. I can (unfortunately) somewhat understand why TTW thinks that asking a husband to wash dishes can destroy a marriage. It likely caused much tension in her own marriage as it is clear from Ken’s writing that there were household tasks he just didn’t think he was obligated to do. In his words, he “detested household chores.”

And while I agree that a SAHM will shoulder more housework than her husband due to primarily being at home , she is not a maid. She works AS MUCH OR MORE in the home as her husband does in the workforce. She puts in her “sixty hours” each week and is deserving of household help from her husband WHO IS AN ADULT AND LIVES IN THE HOUSE.

In internet speak, I am SMH.🤷🏻‍♀️

01/01/2026

As I wrote yesterday, it seems TTW has tended to be a bossy and controlling person throughout her life. She herself acknowledged this in her own words. (See yesterday’s post).

Not surprisingly, this behavior caused some major problems in her marriage, which has resulted in her “teaching” that most women are as controlling and dreadful as she was before she was “transformed.”

I refute this notion.

When I read what TTW has written about her behavior early in her marriage, I do NOT view it as typical of most women. She seemed immature, selfish, and manipulative—like she didn’t know how to get along with other people.

Consider this anectode from her blog:

“I do have a funny story to end this with. Ken told me I could stay home after I had my second baby. I was a full-time school teacher. I wanted to stay home with Alyssa so badly that I put a hole in my diaphragm and we conceived Ryan! I was so happy because I got to stay home and raise my babies.

Now, I don't recommend using deceit like this in anyway to get your way. I wasn't a submissive wife back then at all but I did get to stay home. Nothing is worth harming the relationship between you and your husband, though. God will not honor that behavior….” (Link in comments).

I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure what part of that story was “funny.” There is nothing cute about deceiving one’s husband and completely destroying marital trust by secretly and deliberately taking actions that leave one partner in the dark about something of extreme significance. Most women I know would NOT essentially lie to their husband about matters pertaining to creating another human life. 🤷🏻‍♀️

She was also completely insufferable to Ken when it came to his diet.

She writes that she would “pout, stew, and try to manipulate him to eat better” and said she “ruined” many fun times because she was “mad” that he opted for something like steak or French fries. Ken apparently had to “sneak” in junk food when Lori wasn’t around. (Link in comments).

Let me just say that all of what you just read is red flag behavior - it is extremely controlling, and most women DO NOT act like this with their husbands. It may make TTW feel better to project accusations of controlling behavior onto other women, but the truth is that TTW seems to have had her own issues to deal with here. (And judging from her online platforms,she is still quite controlling of other women).

I am tired of TTW claiming that most women are controlling, want control, or want to rule over their husbands. It seems she is projecting her own nature onto all of us and then calling it the “truth.”

I will not stand for it.

This post represents the narrative TTW spins frequently: Women are hopelessly emotionally unstable, and because of Eve’s...
31/12/2025

This post represents the narrative TTW spins frequently: Women are hopelessly emotionally unstable, and because of Eve’s curse and “feminism,” they are bound to be nasty to their husbands.

In TTW’s world, virtually all women are like this unless they undergo a “transformation” like hers that molds them into being a sweeter and more submissive wife.

Whenever I see TTW make this type of post, I find myself becoming irritated.

First, I dislike that she is stereotyping the vast majority of women.

It is unfortunate that TTW got married and became a dreadful person to be around through her “ugly emotions.” But for her to presume that most all women become equally dreadful upon getting married is presumptious and inaccurate.

Second, BEHAVIOR DOES NOT OCCUR IN A VACUUM.

The person who gets agitated and flies into a fit of road rage before marriage will most likely have a short temper with their spouse.

The person who is relentlessly critical of others before marriage will most likely be relentlessly critical of their spouse upon entering a marriage.

A person who is bossy and controlling before marriage will be bossy and controlling with a spouse after getting married.

Again, behavior does not occur in a vacuum.

What I am getting at is this: TTW’s behavior in her marriage was not anything that emerged out of the blue. She herself has stated that she had a tendency to be a bossy and controlling person.

In one of her older blogs (link in comments), she writes,

“My sisters and I were not that close growing up. I was bossy and controlling and they didn't like that…..lmagine that. In the past year, however, we have gotten very close and it is wonderful. I am sad it took that long but with me being so sick for such a long time, it didn't help.”

We all have our weaknesses, and it’s good to be be able to recognize them so we can work to improve.

What I do NOT appreciate is TTW’s insistence that most women enter marriage and then, out of nowhere, become bossy and controlling with “ugly emotions.” This is a ridiculous assertion.

In reality, it seems that TTW was a bossy and controlling person to those around her for much of her life, and her marriage was simply a continuation of that behavior.

24/12/2025

Merry Christmas Eve to all of you here on this page!

May the light and love of Christ fill you with hope and courage.

May the presence of Jesus, the One who was pronounced to be the everlasting father and the prince of peace, be healing to your soul. (Isaiah 9:6)

May the birth of Christ remind you that God loves you deeply—now and forever. May His love permeate your heart and strengthen your spirit today and always.

19/12/2025

You cannot say you love women if you refuse to teach them that God’s design for them is to be deeply loved and cherished by their husbands. Love always WANTS THE BEST FOR OTHERS - it hopes all things. (1 Cor 13:7)

18/12/2025

Relentlessly shaming and chastising other women is not feminine.

I appreciate Joel setting TTW straight AND also loving his wife well. I would recommend every woman find a Joel.
18/12/2025

I appreciate Joel setting TTW straight AND also loving his wife well.

I would recommend every woman find a Joel.

16/12/2025

Worship God, not your marriage.

It’s interesting to me that TTW references the virtuous wife of Proverbs 31:10 whose “price is above rubies,” and then c...
15/12/2025

It’s interesting to me that TTW references the virtuous wife of Proverbs 31:10 whose “price is above rubies,” and then completely ignores the WHOLE REST OF THE CHAPTER, which goes into detail about what the virtuous wife mentioned in Proverbs 31:10 actually does.

Instead, she provides her own narrative about the virtuous wife who is “above rubies” by predictably shifting to topics like wife-only submission, never declining s*x, and never working outside of the home.

This is an irresponsible representation of scripture.

Join me in imagining this:

You have zero knowledge of the Bible and stumble upon this Facebook post from TTW. You don’t understand fully what she is conveying, so you google ‘virtuous wife above rubies,’ which points you to Proverbs 31:10. You then read the rest of the chapter and learn the following about the Proverbs 31 virtuous wife:

-she has a husband who fully trusts her (this means he is NOT micromanaging her) vs 11

-she is diligent about providing nourishing food for her family and her servants (vs 15)

-she is buying land and seems to have entrepreneurial endeavors because she has PROFITS from which she plants a vineyard (vs 16)

-her trading is profitable - again, she is an entrepreneur (vs 18)

-she helps the poor (vs 20)

-she sells garments she has made (yes, she is making money on her own — and she wasn’t at home making online sales on Etsy 😉)

-she is dignified and has a positive outlook (vs 25)

-she is wise (vs 26)

-she is not idle (vs 27) (probably not chiding other women for hours every day)

I don’t know about you, but upon completing the chapter, I would find it confusing that the TTW would reference a specific part of the Bible about a woman who is “above rubies” and then fail to represent it accurately AS IT IS PORTRAYED IN THE PASSAGE.

Nowhere in Proverbs 31 do we read about a virtuous woman being “above rubies” because she is one-sidedly submissive and reverent to her husband, always s*xually available, and a keeper of the home with no other work outside of the home.

Instead, the portrayal of a woman who is “above rubies” is filled with references to her business savvy, her productivity, her character, and her ability to both care for her family AND independently engage in business endeavors. She is making HER OWN MONEY OUTSIDE OF THE HOME.

(Additionally, if anyone is ‘reverenced’ in Proverbs 31, it is the woman— not her husband— who is celebrated and honored for how much of a rockstar she is). (Vs 31)

There are so many problems with this post by TTW. (It also comes across as holier-than-thou, which I think we should avoid as Christians). Being a virtuous woman is far more encompassing than what the TTW will “allow” for women, and this is unfortunate.

BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) is a fairly well known international organization that does in-depth studies of the Bible t...
12/12/2025

BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) is a fairly well known international organization that does in-depth studies of the Bible through teaching, discussion, and workbook type questions.

If TTW learned “nothing of lasting value” through her involvement in BSF, maybe she is not very teachable.

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