Just Plain Stupid Blog

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Just Plain Stupid Blog Just my little spot for random thoughts, stories, and the quirky stuff I come up with.

02/09/2023

Taking pets and old people for medical attention is basically the same thing. You must convince each to get in some type of transport, they’re not happy or usually willing to do so, and when they come back home chances are they won’t associate with you for a few days afterwards.

21/08/2023

This is old news, but apparently a whistleblower confirmed aliens and UFOs exist. The joke was on the government though because literally nobody gave one f**k about it. The world has become so desensitized to chaos now that only som**hing truly messed up will impress. If Russia dropped a nuke nobody would give a damn and just continue sipping their beverage of choice. Now if Russia dropped a nuke on a puppy orphanage, s**t would go down. I honestly believe people are actively looking forward to the apocalypse because it would be more peaceful than the last three years. The universe needs to embrace sobriety instead of having a hold my beer and m**h pipe mentality.

11/08/2023

Girl Scout cookies and m**h belong on the same drug schedule. I’m almost certain the Mexican drug cartels have looked to the Girl Scouts cookie business for inspiration. I’m worried that one day I’ll get gunned down in the streets for forgetting to pay for a box of Thin Mints. The merit badges and sashes are skill sets, gang rankings, and colors. Don’t be fooled by the cuteness, The Girl Scouts are the most vicious drug dealers in America, and they’re responsible for untold harm to elderly diabetics across the nation and world.

10/08/2023

Mother Nature has recently decided to change her name to Methany Lynn while adopting a backwoods trailer park mentality. She’s so strung-out that she offered fe****io to the man in the moon because he has crack craters, so he must be holding. The icecaps melting isn’t global warming. It’s really just Mother Nature taking her bra off to fight the raccoon that jacked her favorite m**h pipe. The planet hasn’t been hit by an asteroid lately because they’re afraid to hit that s**t because they’ll get som**hing bleach won’t kill and Ajax won’t scrub off. Mother Nature needs to go to rehab and get her s**t together.

09/08/2023

Everybody needs that one friend who’s the equivalent of the old dog at the pound nobody wants. Yes, it may be mostly deaf, have no nuts. smell funny, growl and bite at you at first, a weird attitude, and a limp, but that animal will be the loyalist being in your life if you treat it well. Be that kind of friend to others. That friend’s me, I’m that friend, but at least I still have my nuts.

07/08/2023

Sometimes I wonder if God has an assistant that keeps him from making weird s**t, but that assistant sucks at his job. You know, “God maybe you shouldn’t create an animal from the spare parts bin?
“Kevin, I’m God so I’ve got this. What could go wrong with a venomous duck beaver. I’m gonna call it the platypus.”
“But God, that’s not the best idea.”
“Shut the f**k up Kevin.”
Three Hours later
“What have I done? Kevin. Why didn’t you stop me?”
“I tried but you told me to shut the f**k up.”
“Okay. I’ll make a place for it on earth and call it Australia. We’ll just put it there and forget about it.”

06/08/2023

A psychological breakdown of the seven dwarfs. D***y is MR, Sleepy is narcoleptic, Sneezy is a hypochondriac, Doc really isn't a doctor unless you count holistic medicine, Happy is over-medicated, Bashful is the result of a sheltered childhood, and Grumpy is a clinically depressed sociopath who has realized that only a bunch of mismatched dwarfs would let him crash with them. In summary, the seven dwarfs may have some severe mental illnesses, but they love each other and work well as a dysfunctional family.

06/08/2023

I swear to Christ, my dogs have the strangest personalities. One weighs two pounds, takes offense to the word "fat", and she has the personality of a social media influencer that wants to tell people about her love of Dog Jesus and toast. The other one doesn't care about her weight, but she appears to be a conspiracy nut that believes cheese was created by the man to drug her species. Joe Rogan could be her spirit animal.

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