SONIC Southern Oconee News/Information Channel (2025)

19/04/2025

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Mary Winstead

Email: [email protected]

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Puritan Community Relocates to Golden Corner Commerce Park to “Preserve Decency” Amid Cultural Shift

FAIR PLAY, SC (April 19, 2025) – A newly formed Puritan community from Massachusetts has announced its relocation to the Golden Corner Commerce Park in Fair Play, SC, citing growing concern over “moral decay” allegedly associated with recent developments in the area.

The move comes just weeks after the arrival of a nudist collective, the Golden Age Community, who migrated from Michigan and established a private living compound near Lake Hartwell. Though the group claims to promote “natural wellness and open living,” members of the Puritan community say their presence has already led to “an unsettling relaxation of local standards.”

“Our mission is simple,” said community spokesperson Reverend Caleb Thatcher. “To restore modesty, order, and reverence to a region we believe is under cultural siege.”

While the nudist group has kept a relatively low profile, rumors have spread that they are running an underground bakery, Sweet Briar Bakery, to rival the local established bakery, a family-run staple in downtown Fair Play. Though the bakery’s ownership records now list a shell corporation based in Kalamazoo, MI, no direct link to the Golden Age Community has been confirmed.

“People say the new cinnamon buns are ‘liberating.’ I say they’re laced with rebellion,” said local resident Ethel Monroe, a vocal supporter of the Puritan group’s arrival.

The Puritan settlement, officially named “New Providence,” will include a chapel, textile workshop, and a “morality hall” intended for community meetings and scripture-based discussion on current events. They’ve also expressed interest in opening a bakery of their own — “one that serves virtue along with sourdough.”

Local officials have not commented on the ideological standoff but confirmed both groups are in compliance with zoning laws — for now.

As Fair Play becomes the unlikely battleground for a 21st-century culture clash, one thing is clear: the town’s quiet days may be over.

02/04/2025

In related news…

New Peanut Roasting Factory to Open in Fair Play, SC, with Unique Workforce and Local Ties

Fair Play, SC – A new business is set to bring jobs, flavor, and a touch of the unexpected to Oconee County. Deez Oconee Nutz, a peanut roasting and packaging company, has announced plans to open its doors at the Golden Corner Commerce Park in Fair Play. The factory will source premium peanuts from nearby Georgia farms and aims to provide a uniquely local, high-quality snack.

However, it’s the workforce that’s generating the most buzz. The company has partnered with the Golden Age Nudist Colony, located on the same property, to staff its roasting and packaging operations. Employees will work in a distinctive uniform—custom-made loincloths crafted by local artisans using sustainable, regionally sourced fabrics.

“We’re all about keeping things natural,” said Daniel Alexander, founder and CEO of Deez Oconee Nutz. “Our peanuts are simple and wholesome, and we wanted our workforce to reflect that same purity of spirit. Plus, it gets pretty hot in a roasting facility, so why not let folks be comfortable?”

Oconee County officials have welcomed the new business, citing its commitment to regional agriculture and job creation. “This is exactly the kind of innovative, community-focused industry we want to attract,” said Marcy Brock, an economic development coordinator for the county. “Deez Oconee Nutz is bringing in sustainable jobs while celebrating local culture in a way that, well, certainly sets us apart.”

The company’s products will initially be available in local markets and roadside stands, with plans to expand into larger retailers. Signature flavors will include Golden Corner Honey Roast, Barely Salted, and Full Monty Spicy Cajun.

Construction on the facility is set to begin this summer, with operations expected to start early next year. Interested applicants at the Golden Age Nudist Colony have already begun training sessions, with an emphasis on food safety, roasting techniques, and strategic loincloth adjustments.

“We’re proud to support local business,” said Earl Merritt, a longtime resident of the colony and one of the company’s first hires. “I’ve always loved peanuts, and now I get to help bring them to people while staying true to my way of life. It’s a win-win.”

With a combination of Georgia’s finest peanuts, a passionate workforce, and a commitment to “keeping it natural,” Deez Oconee Nutz is poised to become one of the most talked-about businesses in the region.

02/04/2025

Senior Nudist Colony Relocates from Michigan to Oconee County, South Carolina.

April 1, 2025

Fair Play, SC - In an unexpected move that has the small town of Fair Play abuzz, the prestigious "Golden Age Nudists" senior community, one of Michigan's most well-known nudist colonies, has announced its relocation to rural South Carolina. This decision, which was made after months of deliberation and planning, marks a new chapter for the colony, which has been a staple of Michigan's nudist community for nearly 40 years.

"We’ve loved our time in Michigan, but the weather just wasn’t cutting it for us anymore," says the colony's spokesperson, 75-year-old Harry Wood, who has been a member of the community for over two decades. "South Carolina offers warmer climates, more sun, and a peaceful environment where we can fully embrace the freedom and relaxation that nudism offers."

The decision to uproot the entire community, which consists of over 300 members ranging from ages 60 to 90, is part of a broader trend in nudist communities seeking more favorable climates. According to sources, the Michigan colony was struggling with the region's cold, unpredictable winters, which limited outdoor activities and contributed to members’ increasing requests for a change.

"After years of enduring the bitter Michigan winters, it became clear that relocating to a place where we can spend more time in nature—without having to bundle up in multiple layers—was necessary," says Alice Green, a resident of the colony for the past 15 years. "The South Carolina countryside has the perfect combination of sunshine, scenic views, and room to expand."

The move to Fair Play, a town with a population of just under 600, was initially met with mixed reactions. Local residents were reportedly shocked by the announcement, with some expressing concerns over how the new nudist community would integrate into the town’s family-friendly atmosphere. However, local officials have assured residents that the colony will respect the town’s values, with one representative stating, "It’s not like they’re going to be parading to the bakery, flower shop or Dollar General in the buff—well, at least, not without warning."

The Golden Age Nudists have already signed a deal with the local authorities for the purchase of 100 acres of land on the outskirts of Fair Play at the Golden Corner Commerce Park. Plans for the site include an extensive series of private, clothing-optional homes, a spa, and a community garden. The land will also feature a series of walking trails, a pond, and even a small vineyard, where residents plan to produce their own wine for "relaxing afternoons" by the lake.

Despite concerns, the relocation is already creating some excitement in the area. Local businesses are hoping to capitalize on the influx of senior residents and their visitors. "We’re preparing for the potential boom in tourism,” says Tom Brown, the owner of a local diner. "We already have a small following from travelers who pass through, and this could definitely put Fair Play on the map in a way that it hasn’t been before."

The "Golden Age Nudists" community has made a name for itself by offering an environment where seniors can live free of clothing constraints, experiencing a lifestyle of comfort, acceptance, and natural beauty. The transition to South Carolina marks their desire to not only find a sunnier climate but also to embrace the idea of freedom and inclusivity in a new cultural setting.

"We believe in body positivity, freedom, and living life to the fullest," Harry Wood explained. "This move is about creating a space where our members can thrive, connect with nature, and enjoy the golden years of life the way we’ve always dreamed."

The colony will begin welcoming its residents to the new property in late spring, with an official opening ceremony planned for the first week of May. For the locals of Fair Play, this new chapter may just bring more than sunshine—it could be the start of an unexpected cultural shift.

In the words of one hopeful new resident, "It’s about time we bring a little more freedom to the South, and even more fitting that we’re bringing our golden agers to the golden corner!”

04/02/2025

Could Oconee be the next site for some mysterious guidestones to appear?
As everyone has heard by now, the Georgia Guidestones were damaged by an early morning explosion and then completely demolished this week. While this story is still unfolding and being investigated from all levels of government from the local law enforcement to the FBI, our crack team of reporters have discovered a link to the destruction of the guidestones to our very own county government. It seems the Oconee County Development Alliance, along with the Oconee Sewer Joint Region Initiative and Blazer Construction, LLC (owned by Mr. Davis Cain of the council) are tied to the demise of the guidestones. In a leaked memo to the various members of the organizations above, Robert C**t of the OSJRI outlined a plan to finalize the sewer expansion in Southern Oconee and bring prosperity to the area that has seemingly been forgotten by county council. By destroying the guidestones and building a similar monument in the now defunct golden corner commerce park, C**t feels that the curious and the skeptical would likely visit the site since they no longer can visit the Georgia site. He feels that the attraction could possibly rekindle interest in the area and maybe find a buyer willing to pay the $10,000 an acre asking price for the parcel. C**t proposed using recycled materials from the recent renovations of the local Dollar Generals to keep costs to a minimum and keep those materials out of the landfill. He further stated that the county rock quarry could supply adequate stone mock ups with help from the engineers at the nuclear power plant and probably a couple of the engineering faculty from Clemson. He went on to suggest that the vandals who damaged Howard’s rock at the university would be ideal candidates to carry out the mission in Elberton, since they had real world experience in damaging notable pieces of stone under cover of darkness. We contacted Mr. C**t, who agreed to speak with us off the record about the secret project. Our editors all had their fingers crossed when the deal was made, so here we are printing this story. C**t said he’d like to place a time capsule at the monument, much like the one in Elbert. He said that this has been in the works for the golden corner commerce park after the rumored solar farm didn’t materialize, and he’s glad to see it finally coming into fruition. We asked about the contents of the time capsule, and he gave us a list. It includes a plug of to***co once chewed by Danny Ford, a rock from Burrell’s Ford, a half used jar of moonshine made by Louis Redmond in Walhalla, a cvs receipt from each of the stores in Oconee, a scoop of contaminated mud from lake Hartwell, a vial of water from the cooling pool at Oconee Nuclear, a pillow from the Walhalla Motel, a pickled egg from Durham’s Store in Fair Play, a can of potted meat from the Country Junction, a hot dog from Pat’s Cash and Carry, handcuffs worn by Doyle Cannon, a crack pipe from Westminster, and a banjo string from the movie Deliverance.
C**t anticipates to get started soon on phase 2 of the plan, now that phase 1 is complete in Georgia.

Joanna Whitmire reporting for SONIC News

04/02/2025

Atlanta based restaurant chain Ho***rs has announced the recent acquisition of the former Elliot’s Fish Camp near exit 4 on 1-85 in Oconee County, South Carolina. When asked why they are opening another location so close to the existing location at exit 19, just a 15 minute drive from the new location, CEO Terrance Marks said that the Lake Hartwell backdrop is the perfect place to enjoy Ho***rs famous wings and hospitality. “Besides, can you really have too many Ho***rs?” Renovations are set to begin in the spring, with a patio and docks to conveniently accommodate boaters, fishers, and anyone who would like to take in all the scenery. Marks went on to say that locally sourced wings and produce will be utilized in an effort to support the folks in the local community who will be supporting the newest franchise. Grand opening is targeted for Friday, July 3, just in time to celebrate the 4th of July weekend.

(Pope Hearken reporting for SONIC, the Southern Oconee News/Information Channel)

04/02/2025

Exciting news for Southern Oconee!
SONIC News was granted an exclusive interview this morning with Terry Brown, Executive Vice President and Professor Emeritus of the Hospitality, Ecotourism, and Yankee relocation for a Better Oconee (HeyBo). Brown revealed plans to open up a combination chicken processing plant, petting zoo, and a 12 lane bowling alley on the lands at the Golden Corner Commerce Park. Cluck-n-Chuck, as it will be named, will offer hands on tours of the free range chicken processing plant, where patrons can experience firsthand the chicken slaughtering process, and even pick out a chicken to process from the petting zoo, as long as there are chickens available. Folks can finish out their tour of the facility with a round of bowling, or head on over to Lake Hartwell and do some noodling for catfish, or ride by the h**p farm and observe juvenile h**p plants in their early stages of growth.

Reporting for SONIC, this is Pope Hearken

SONIC Southern Oconee News/Information Channel

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