Big Family Love

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Big Family Love

There is no one-size-fits-all with family. Dynamics, personalities, and experiences make every family relationship unique. Here, we share the hard stuff.

We cheer each other on. We celebrate uniqueness. We connect. We are honest. Real Life. Together.

09/11/2021

Malawi for the win! I am a little bit jealous, but a lot bit excited. My first time in Africa was more than life changing—it was soul shaping.

Two weeks in June 2022, Adam and JoJo are working in the refugee camps building and serving. We just wish it could be longer and that we could all go. That we could do more for all our brothers and sisters across the world experiencing displacement. And our even bigger wish, just like with adoption, is that there was no need for refugee camps . . . Anywhere!

We hope our loaves and fishes offerings, however small and insufficient, multiply throughout our family so our children and their children are ensconced in lighted service. Because people are the only thing God is concerned with—all of us. Every single one.

It doesn’t matter what we do. It only matters that we do something!

15/10/2021

Hannah was baptized by her big brother, JoJo, two weeks ago. Her birth was his first miracle. Jojo prayed her here and has loved and protected her ever since. So this baptism was extra beautiful to witness. A perfect capstone to our family’s blending through foster care, adoption, and fertility treatments.

Hannah marches to her own beat—more than any of our other children. I guess she kind of has to. She survived months in cryo-freeze, threatened miscarriage, months of bed rest, preeclampsia, and an emergency c-section all just to get here. And she remained perfectly calm and healthy through the whole ordeal—all thirty weeks and two pounds of her.

She’s also the only bio kid, blonde kid, and the only one who doesn’t have a sibling buddy near her age. She and her stuffed animal friends make their own way. And she chooses to follow the Way Maker as she goes along.

The Bible she is holding is her great-grandmother’s. This shell-cased treasure was purchased in Israel in the early 1970s. I know great-grandma Pearl was smiling on this day!

I believe that Jesus loves everyone. That his grace is sufficient. That he is our exemplar in all things. And I choose to follow him. My one true wish is that my children and their children will choose him too.

09/10/2021

13 years. It doesn’t feel like enough time. I know it never will. Grateful she allows us access to her adult life to share meaningful moments. Binding moments. Sacred moments.

From the dark echoing halls of a Colombian orphanage to the sanctifying halls of our temple and the years and space in between, radiating light spills out of her. The beauty of this week is nearly indescribable.

25/08/2021

I’m not sure why I am blessed with many amazing friends. Like the literal best. Dinner. Texts. Funny Marcos. An Amazon delivery. Planning future trips. But mostly prayers and love and careful concern. They have all made this colossally crappy two weeks bearable.

I am overcome by gratitude today for “each life that touches ours for good.” My cup is full, even in the darkest moments, because of meaningful relationships.

Send that text. Write that thank you card. Deliver that meal. Drop off that cookie. Sit with someone who’s hurting. You don’t need words. Just sit still with them. Pray for that minutely specific need you happen to know about. Just do it. Whatever it is, intentionally act—every day.

Many small, individual acts of caring culminate into an overflowing bucket of purpose and grace. Orchestrated by the divine. For our good.

I have been both the giver and receiver—hopefully given more than taken—on many occasions, and both roles work symbiotically to buoy us individually and collectively. I may not be worthy of such relationships, but I am most grateful they exist. Today. I am just so grateful.

Now off to read the aforementioned Amazon gift—Greenlights.

12/08/2021

As I’m headed back from Cali—“Hey Babe, I might take the girls backpacking tomorrow.” No big deal. Let me just switch gears and help make that happen.

Things move fast in a large family—the windows of opportunity are sometimes elusive when managing many schedules. So we grab the moments when they arise. And lately we’ve been holding every single moment we have.

As summer ticks down and so does our gaggle of teens in the home this coming year, we feel ourselves packing in as much memory making, as many experiences, as many moments of meaning as we possibly can.

I’ll never be in this space again. I’ll never have seven teens at once, 10 kids under one roof, or even babies or toddlers ever again.

I know most moms feel this way this time of year. Sending your last kid to kinder or your last kid to Senior Year or your first kid to college. It always seems to be the beginning of the end as chapters open and close at lightning pace.

I’m grateful for a Yes Dad as my partner who snatches the opportunities. I’m grateful for children who want to be snatched. I’m grateful for friends and sisters who see the world the same way and are up for our crazy adventures!

Basically, I’m grateful for the molecular moments that make this life full and beautiful!

30/07/2021

I am currently parenting my seventh 14-year-old. Yep. Still floating above water. Barely some days. But usually gliding along with the help of some incredible teens/young adults currently in the home. Teens are awesome for so many reasons. They can be funny, helpful, good travel companions, movie buddies, and game players. They are willing to talk about anything and are forming their own opinions that allow for deep, thoughtful conversation. Give me all the teens—even though they are straight up dumb at times—because of their potential.

But 14 is still no joke. It’s hard sometimes for them and for us. I taught 14-year-olds for several years before parenting, so I know all the ins and outs. The tips and tricks. The expectations and the limitations. And yet, it’s still tricky. Cause each kid is different. Each reacts to changing hormones and changing in general differently. Some cry a lot. Some don’t cry at all. Some laugh at everything and are utterly helpless in their awkwardness. And some. Well, some are just joy-suckers no matter what tool of the trade is unearthed on them.

We are all becoming. And at 14 we kind of become all at once. And right when we need to be checked in the most as parents, we tend to completely check out. Some parents don’t know how to handle the alien invader inside. Some don’t like confrontation—taking the ostrich approach for a few years. And some simply think their kids don’t need them anymore.

Wrong. Wrong. And Wrong.

Be checked in. It’s worth expecting they will look people in the eye. Answer intelligibly. Get up before noon. Be productive members of the family and the community. And be respectful and courteous and kind.

Eventually, we end up with strong, capable, confident, emerging adults who influence the world for good.

Most of my kids have experienced significant trauma in their lives. But we still EXPECT. Because we know they will eventually BECOME. It just takes some longer than others—just like all of us…as we choose to be molded into something better!

That is always worth it!

08/07/2021

I was so uncertain about bringing newborns home at 43. And that first year was HARD! But now, two years later, they are just light.

In a home where seven of our kids are ages 14-20, these two brighten the emotional load. The trauma issues. The hormones. The heartache and heartbreak. The poor decisions. The indecision. The crises of faith and the growing of faith. The letting go and welcoming home. We are all in for all of it. But these two with their cuddles and wonder—where everything is magical and new—ground us in goodness and patience and love.

We wouldn’t change a thing about any of it!

02/03/2021

And then there were 10 . . . officially anyway. Lilah and Lucy are finally and legally McCrackens.

We had no idea the judge would finalize at our hearing yesterday, but toward the middle of the hearing he seemed to be satisfied and decided to close our case out. A huge thank you to for appearing and clearing up that we and our bio family have no part in the state’s ongoing investigation of our former adoption attorney. We appreciate the extra time they’ve taken on our behalf.

So, alas, no cool adoption pics or signs or parties or matching t-shirts or family and friends on the zoom hearing to celebrate with us. You all know we love that stuff. But it doesn’t matter. We are family. We are together.

I would LOVE if you left Lilah and Lucy a note in the comment or send a text or DM for their Life Books.

24/02/2021

Remember when you slept on the hard floor all night outside your parents’ room so you could be by them but still be big? Yeah, me neither! 🤪

(I think she just didn’t want to clean up her fort before bed.)

22/02/2021

Big family photo shoot means all hands on deck. 🤦🏼‍♀️You get the picture (pun intended)!

19/02/2021

When you have 12 people to outfit for family pics and your bestie moves to Texas so you can raid her kids’ (all 13 of them) closets anymore. And two of your sons, whose fashion sense is nil, don’t live with you anymore. AND you have to find two of everything for the toddlers...in the same size! 🤦🏼‍♀️

But seriously, this picture is really important to me. We haven’t seen one of our boys in person for over two years. And we’ve added the twins in that time. This will likely be the last family picture before the Army and missions and marriage and grandkids start to snowball . . . the culminating result of starting with seven kids under ten. They all seem to leave at once. A chapter nearing its end. A new one beginning.

Please pray for cloud cover over our family tomorrow so we have beautifully diffused light in the desert. 🌴🌥

02/02/2021

Adoption Day ended in Non-Adoption Day!

Our attorney called us EIGHT minutes before our scheduled hearing to say the judge unexpectedly postponed. 🤷🏼‍♀️I felt very much like I was back on the familiar foster care roller coaster—except these babes aren’t fosters. 🥴

We have spent almost two years waiting, filing extra documents, getting the all-clear from the attorney general’s office, waiting some more, COVID, new paternity search, new paperwork notarized by first Mama, and then waiting some more.

And now . . . We wait. Again. There will be another round with the state attorney general. More declaration requests. More questions about the efficacy of our particular adoption.

Don’t they know I woke two toddlers up from their nap today?!? I even curled my hair, dang it! And PS, powers that be—I am a child advocate. That is literally what I do every day of my life.

And . . . It’s still always worth it.

The girls aren’t going anywhere. Their place in our family is secure. They are cared for. And happy. And the best little cabooses. Lilah and Lucy have a first family and a forever family that surround them with stability and love.

So we will continue forward in faith with gratitude. For adoption. And reunification. And family—of all kinds. And the ability to advocate for things that matter.

I also choose grace toward those who I feel like punching in the face right now. 😂🙄
———————————
If you know someone going through an adoption or foster placement—even if it seems straightforward—it’s probably not. Some situations are messier than others, for sure! But there is loss every time.

When adoption hiccups or foster removals or negative court hearings come, the person you are rooting for will need a text or a call or a Diet Coke and peanut m&m’s. Sometimes all three. But mostly, they need to feel your warmth. I’ve been a grateful recipient of a lot of goodness and warmth over the years. I hope I can give as good as I’ve got over the next 40 years.

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