Healing loudly this time

15/12/2025

One of the deepest wounds after sexual assault isn’t just what happened to you ,it’s when family members don’t believe you because they “know” the person who hurt you.

I spoke to a lady I met over the weekend the hurt in her eyes,the confusion of Why don't they believe me cuts deep.I know this feeling all to well

They say things like “He would never do that” or “She’s known him for years.”
But knowing someone does not mean they are incapable of violence.

When family chooses comfort over truth, the survivor is left carrying not only the trauma of r**e, but the pain of betrayal.
Being doubted by the people who were supposed to protect you cuts deeper than words can explain.

Disbelief doesn’t change what happened.
Silence doesn’t erase harm.
And protecting an abuser does not protect a family, it breaks one.

R**e is not always committed by strangers in dark alleys.
Most survivors are hurt by someone familiar. Someone trusted. Someone “known.”

To survivors walking this lonely road:
Your truth does not need their permission to exist.
You are not lying. You are not dramatic. You are not tearing the family apart.

The responsibility lies with the person who assaulted you and with those who chose denial over your safety.

Believe survivors.
Even when it’s uncomfortable.
Especially when it’s close to home.

27/11/2025

Why Sexual Assault and Addiction Often Walk Together

People never talk about this enough, but sexual assault and addiction often go hand in hand. Not because survivors are weak, but because trauma changes everything.

When you’ve carried pain that deep, your body stays in survival mode.
Your mind never truly rests.
Your heart is fighting battles no one sees.

Addiction doesn’t start with a “bad choice.”
It starts with a wound.

A wound that:

tries to silence the flashbacks

numbs the shame

calms the panic

gives a moment of escape from a reality that was never your fault

Survivors don’t pick up substances to destroy themselves , they pick them up to cope, to breathe, to stop hurting for just one second.

But here’s the truth:
The problem was never the survivor.
The problem was the trauma they were forced to carry.

When we start healing the trauma, the addiction loses its power.
When we speak about it, we break the shame.
And when survivors finally get support, they begin to find themselves again.

To every survivor who numbed the pain just to get through another day:
You were coping the best way you knew how.
Your story is valid.
Your healing is possible

17/11/2025

One of the saddest places to live is inside the identity of a victim. It keeps you small, silent, and afraid. But the moment you see yourself as a SURVIVOR, everything shifts. Strength grows, Hope returns and your story starts becoming yours again.

11/11/2025

Happy 60th Birthday to my beautiful mom.

Today I celebrate you mommy the strongest woman I know. You’ve been my rock through every storm, my comfort through every tear. As a survivor of r**e, one of my biggest fears was not being believed , BUT you believed me from day one. You never turned your back on me, and that gave me the courage to heal out loud.

My page Healing Out Loudly exists because of you Mom.. your love, your strength, and your unwavering support inspired me to turn my pain into purpose.

My wish for you, Mom, is that life continues to bless you with the same love, peace, and light you’ve given me all these years. May your 60s be filled with joy, laughter, and everything your heart desires.

I love you endlessly. ❤️

31/10/2025

Today is my birthday, and I woke up feeling deeply grateful. 💜
As a child of sexual assault and r**e, my journey has not been easy , but creating my Healing Loudly page has given my pain a purpose.

Every message, every story, every person I’ve connected with reminds me that healing is possible and that our voices matter.

I’m thankful that my page can bring comfort and hope to someone who needs it. Today, I celebrate life, strength, and the beauty of turning pain into purpose. 🌸✨

20/10/2025

There are support options in the U.S. for parents of sexual assault survivors. Here are a few good ones:

The RAINN (R**e, Abuse & In**st National Network) hotline is available 24/7 for survivors and their loved ones. You can call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), chat online, or text “HOPE” to 64673.
RAINN

The National Parent Helpline is a resource specifically for parents/caregivers needing emotional support and connection to resources. The number is 1-855-4A-PARENT (855-427-2736).
Reddit
+1

The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD / 800-422-4453) can also help parents navigate situations of child sexual abuse, including supporting the parent.
Verywell Mind
+1

Your privacy and safety are crucial. Please make sure you are in a safe place and that you are using a secure device and Internet connection. Please note that while we have taken numerous measures to keep your communications safe while using our site, no Internet transmission is 100%  secure.

20/10/2025

I was the first to speak the truth.
For years, my uncle carried his darkness from one person to the next, stealing voices, breaking innocence,
teaching silence like it was a family tradition.

But I refused to carry that curse any longer.
I opened a case not just for me,
but for every soul he wounded
and every person who still sleeps afraid and gets triggered

I am the crack in his power,
the voice that will not be buried.
What he tried to destroy, I am rebuilding in truth.
And this time, the silence ends with me.

09/10/2025

When healing from sexual assault begins to truly take root, it doesn’t always feel peaceful right away. It’s often a mix of pain, clarity, exhaustion, and tiny moments of relief that start showing up between the chaos. Here’s what it can start to feel like, bit by bit:

🌿 1. The weight shifts, even slightly.
There’s a moment when you notice you can breathe a little easier. Maybe the memories still come, but they don’t choke you as much as before. You begin to realize you’re not inside the trauma anymore you’re remembering it from the outside.

💭 2. You question less whether it was your fault.
One day, instead of replaying “What if I had…” your mind whispers, “Wait, I didn’t deserve that.” That single truth becomes louder and clearer with time.

💔 3. It still hurts but in a cleaner way.
Healing doesn’t mean the pain is gone. It means it’s no longer rotting you from the inside it’s something you can hold, look at, and even talk about without collapsing.

💬 4. Your silence starts breaking.
You start saying things out loud to yourself, to a journal, to someone safe. And each time, your voice shakes less.

🔥 5. You feel anger that’s directed correctly.
Instead of hating yourself, you start getting angry at what was done to you. That anger is powerful it’s self-respect waking up.

💧 6. You crave softness, not punishment.
You begin to choose rest over guilt. Comfort over chaos. You stop needing to “earn” your right to be okay.

🌸 7. You start catching glimpses of who you were before and who you’re becoming after.
You realize that the person who survived is strong, tender, wise and worthy of love.

Healing doesn’t arrive like a sunrise it comes in flickers. Some days, it feels like you’ve gone backward. But even those days are part of the process your body and soul learning safety again, piece by piece.

11/09/2025

I often wonder if my pain had a purpose. The truth is, nothing could ever justify what I went through. But if sharing my story helps someone else feel less alone, if it gives another survivor the courage to speak or the strength to keep going, then something powerful has grown from my wounds.
My pain will never define me, but I can choose to let it serve others. In that choice, I find purpose,not in what was done to me, but in how I rise beyond it.

05/09/2025

Today's thoughts

Anyone else get angry when people say forgive the perpetrator so you can heal

It can actually feel invalidating. Healing isn’t linear, and forgiveness isn’t something that should be forced, especially if it feels like it’s for the benefit of someone who hurt you rather than for your own peace.

When people say things like "forgive them so you can heal," they often don’t understand that healing is a personal, complex journey. It’s not about letting the person off the hook or absolving them of their actions; it’s about reclaiming your own power and peace, and forgiveness doesn’t always play a role in that.

It’s natural to feel anger because that statement can dismiss your experience and put the emotional burden on you to forgive someone who caused you harm. No one should tell you when or how to forgive, or suggest that it’s required for you to heal. That choice belongs to you, and if forgiveness doesn’t feel right, that’s totally valid.

How do you usually respond when someone says that?

05/09/2025

🖤 My Truth

"To the Family Who Heard the Truth and Chose Silence"

I finally speak my truth, clearly and without shame.

I was sexually assaulted by a member of my family and all of my family knows his identity

I didn’t imagine it. I didn’t lie about it. I didn’t make it up for attention, revenge, or drama. It happened. And I’ve carried the pain of it ever since,on top of the pain of your denial, silence, and disbelief.

I came to you because I thought family meant protection, not betrayal. I thought you’d hold me, believe me, and help me carry something no one should ever have to bear alone. But instead, I was met with doubt, and a wall of silence I didn’t deserve.

You heard him admit what he did to me.You witnessed a confession, but refused to carry the weight of the truth.Iam NOT the only VICTIM but that,,you already knew.

The whispers, the stories for years between the family it's not just abuse it's a cover-up,the truth buried

Let me be very clear: your refusal to believe me (even after he admitted to assaulting me)-will never erase what happened to me.

Whether or not you accept it, I was harmed. I live with the effects of that harm every single day. And instead of standing with me, some of you stood with the abuser, directly or indirectly. That’s something I will never forget.
(Thank God for my Mother's unwavering support)

This letter isn’t a plea for your validation. It’s a boundary.

I no longer have space in my life for people who choose comfort over truth. I am protecting myself emotionally, mentally, spiritually. If you can’t meet me with belief, respect, and care, then you do not get access to me.

I am speaking out because staying silent helps no one, but speaking might just protect someone else.

Iam a Survivor, I wont lose myself to secrets that were never mine to keep.

02/09/2025

Dear Little Me,

I see you. I know how much you’ve carried, and I am so sorry you went through what you did. None of it was your fault. You deserved love, protection, and safety.

I want you to know that you are no longer alone. I am here now, and I will protect you. I will listen to you, believe you, and honour your feelings. You are precious, worthy, and loved exactly as you are.

From today forward, I will carry you with kindness and give you the care you always needed. You are safe with me now.

With all my love,
Your Grown Self 💙