Healing loudly this time

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Healing loudly this time No longer suffering in silence but healing loudly this time..

19/03/2026

One of the hardest parts of healing is realizing that not everyone will handle your story with care.

Sometimes the very thing that shaped you gets passed around like it’s just a conversation and it can reopen wounds you thought were finally healing.

But I’m reminding myself, my story is still mine. My healing is still valid. And I’m allowed to take a step back from anything that doesn’t feel safe.

Protect your peace. Not everyone deserves access to your most vulnerable parts.

And that’s okay.




16/03/2026

When a traumatic moment hits you in the middle of an ordinary day, it can feel like the world suddenly shifts. One minute you are going about your normal routine, and the next your body and mind are pulled back into a memory you didn’t ask for. Your heart may race, your chest may tighten, and everything around you can feel distant or overwhelming.

Trauma doesn’t follow a schedule. It doesn’t wait for a quiet moment or a safe place. Sometimes it shows up in the middle of a normal day, in a smell, a sound, a word, or even a passing thought. And when it does, it can feel like you are reliving something you worked so hard to survive.

But those moments are not a sign that you are weak. They are a reminder that your body remembers what it went through and that you are still here despite it. Healing is not a straight line. Some days feel calm, and other days memories rise to the surface when you least expect them.

In those moments, the most important thing is to remind yourself.... I am safe now. I survived. This moment will pass.

Trauma may interrupt ordinary days
And every time you move through one of those moments and keep going, that is healing too.






10/03/2026

Trauma thrives in silence.

Silence is where shame grows.
Silence is where perpetrators feel safe.
Silence is where survivors are made to feel small, confused, and alone.

For so long many of us were taught to keep quiet. To protect families. To avoid “drama.” To not speak about the things that hurt us the most. But the truth is, silence was never meant to protect us,it protected the harm.

When survivors begin to speak, something powerful happens. The weight of secrecy begins to lift. Shame begins to lose its grip. And the truth finally has room to breathe.

Your voice matters.
Your story matters.
What happened to you was not your fault.

Speaking out is not about revenge or destroying anyone. It’s about reclaiming your power, your dignity, and your healing. It’s about refusing to carry the burden of someone else’s wrongdoing in silence any longer.

To every survivor who is still quiet because you’re afraid, unsure, or not believed your voice is still valid. Speak when you are ready. Speak in your own way. Speak in your own time.

But know this: your voice has the power to break cycles, expose darkness, and help others feel less alone.

Silence protects trauma.
Truth begins to heal it.







09/03/2026

Some perpetrators have a “job” that no one ever wants to see on a resume. Their work is to lie, manipulate, and cover up the abuse they commit. They rely on secrecy, shame, and the hope that no one will speak out.

But we, as survivors, see through them. We recognize their lies, their manipulation, and their false masks. We know the truth, and we refuse to be silenced.

Their job ends where our voices begin. Every story shared, every truth spoken, every survivor standing tall chips away at their power.

We speak. We expose. We heal. And in doing so, we reclaim our lives from their deception.

To all survivors: your voice is your fiercest weapon,use it boldly and Loudly.








Healing out loud sometimes comes with judgment. People may not always understand your journey, your truth, or your coura...
05/03/2026

Healing out loud sometimes comes with judgment. People may not always understand your journey, your truth, or your courage to speak.

But I want to encourage someone today: Do not stop your healing because of other people’s opinions.

Your healing matters. Your voice matters. Your story matters.

For too long many of us carried pain in silence. That is why I chose to share my story in my book *Healing Loudly: No More Shame. No More Silence.*

My prayer is that it reminds someone that they are not alone and that healing is possible.

Keep healing. Keep growing. And never feel ashamed of choosing yourself. 🤍

23/02/2026

To the person who just lost their case against their abuser…

I want you to hear this loud and clear
A verdict does NOT determine your truth.

The justice system has limits.
Your truth does not.

A courtroom can fail you.
A system can silence you.
But that does not erase what happened.
And it does not erase your courage.

You spoke.
You stood.
You faced what most people spend a lifetime running from.

And here is what they never tell you
You can give the shame back.
It was never yours to carry.
It belongs to the one who caused the harm.

And know this:
A perpetrator hates when you keep using your voice.
Even after the case is dismissed.
Even after the system closes the file.
Because your truth still lives and they can’t control that.

Healing is still possible.
Even now.
Even after the outcome you never wanted.
Even when it feels like everything was for nothing.

It wasn’t for nothing.

Your truth is still yours.
Your voice is still powerful.
And your healing is still within reach.

This is not the end of your story.
It’s the part where you choose yourself LOUDLY. 💛






10/02/2026

Living in victim mode, I could never finish the things I wanted to start. Sometimes I didn’t even begin. I would say things like, “I’m going to study this,” or “I’ll start that business,” but I just couldn’t follow through.

Once my healing process began, everything changed.

Today, I celebrate starting and finishing my book. I am so proud of myself for this achievement, for finally owning something that belongs to me. I never knew that writing a book could be both healing and devastating at the same time.

But I’ve learned this: Expression releases what silence stores
Trauma thrives in silence. Whether through writing, speaking, crying, prayer, and therapy expression gives pain somewhere to go.









08/02/2026

Today, as I cook lunch for my family, my mind drifts to the family I chose to cut out of my life. I think about my mom’s eldest sister the one who chose silence when she learned I was a victim at the hands of her brother. She chose not to get involved, even though that same man had victimized her own daughter when she was young.

I think about my mom’s older brother, who cried when he heard what happened to me, yet still chose to drive back to the family who silenced the rest of them. He was always the angry uncle, the one we didn’t really question, the one who controlled his own family in quiet, unsettling ways.

And I realize now if a family can overlook their own daughter being violated, if they can excuse harm and call it peace, then who am I to them? Who was my mom? Our pain was never going to matter there.

I also think about my mom’s youngest brother,someone I loved dearly, now a pastor. When the truth came out, he and his wife decided they would not give a statement. This, even though his own brother had tried to victimize his wife while she was sleeping.

Their silence didn’t end there. They chose to say that I lied, words echoed and shouted by my mom’s eldest brother turning truth into something they could dismiss, and pain into something they could deny.

And in that moment, I understood: this was never about not knowing. It was about choosing comfort over truth, silence over protection.

But I also know this,I have a mother, a husband, a son, brothers, a father, and a sister who stand with me. And most importantly, I have God. While they made their own plans in silence, God had His own plan, one rooted in truth, justice, and healing.






06/02/2026

To every parent whose child came to them and said, “this happened to me.”

If you are lying awake replaying every moment, asking yourself how did I not know? where was I? how did I miss this? please pause and breathe.

Not knowing does not mean you didn’t protect your child.
Predators are calculated. They groom, manipulate, and hide in plain sight.
Children often stay silent not because they don’t trust you but because they are scared, confused, ashamed, or trying to survive.

If you feel guilt so heavy it hurts even to breathe, anger so intense you want to bring hell on earth for the person who hurt your child, or thoughts that scare you because you feel you failed , you are not alone. These feelings are common. They come from love, not failure.

But hear this clearly: your child does not see you as the enemy.
They came to you because somewhere deep inside, they knew you were safe now.

Right now, your child doesn’t need you to have all the answers.
They don’t need revenge spoken out loud.
(Easier said than done)
They need to be believed.
They need to feel protected emotionally.
They need to see that your love is steady, even while your heart is breaking.

Survival looks different for every child
For me at the time of telling my truth, I didn't wanna be interrogated or asked why didn't you speak sooner because I still felt ashamed of what happened to me by an uncle

Try to remember: this is not the moment to interrogate, to question why they didn’t speak sooner, or to search for reasons. Trauma silences. Fear freezes.

The most powerful words you can offer are simple:
“I believe you. This is not your fault. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

You didn’t fail your child.
You are being invited into the hardest part of parenting walking beside them through pain you didn’t cause, but can help them heal from.

Let your love be louder than your guilt.
Let your presence be stronger than your anger.
Healing begins when your child knows they are still safe in your arms.

Thank you to my Mom for believing me,stood by me,and protected me, even when it ment loosing your own family.







🤍

05/02/2026

Sometimes as a teen, I wondered if there was no way my family/friends could see that I had changed.
That I wasn’t myself anymore.

I made poor choices.
I became a “difficult” teen.
I acted in ways that didn’t reflect who I truly was.

And deep down, I wished someone would stop and ask,
“What’s wrong with you?”
Not in anger,but in concern.
Not after the damage was done but earlier, when I was still trying to survive quietly.

I wish I didn’t have to behave badly for my pain to be visible.
I wish I didn’t have to carry the weight alone until the only words left were the hardest ones to say that I had been r***d.

I wasn’t acting out because I was bad.
I was hurting.
I was changed by something I didn’t have the words or safety to explain.

I needed someone to see past my behavior and notice my brokenness.
To see the child behind the choices.
To ask before the silence swallowed me.

Even now, I grieve the younger version of myself who was misunderstood instead of protected.
But I also recognize that GOD saw what others couldn’t.
And because GOD stayed with me, I eventually found the strength to speak, to name the truth, and to begin healing.And the moment I spoke everything shifted for me.





04/02/2026

Growing up at my granny’s house should have felt safe.
Instead, it’s where the sexual abuse by an uncle began when I was a little girl.

As a child, I wondered if she knew. Years later, I found out she was told by someone and her response was to say that person was lying and to go play outside. Not just about me, but about others too.

When she was dying, I sat by her hospital bed and cried. People probably thought I was there because I missed her. The truth is, I was overwhelmed with anger, hurt, grief, and feelings I didn’t yet have words for.

What made it even more painful is that the man who abused me was also there, standing at her bedside, saying his goodbyes. Sitting in that room with my ra**st while watching her pass was unbearable. It’s something that still stays with me.

I cried uncontrollably at her funeral not just out of love, but out of unresolved pain and unanswered questions. I chose to forgive her, not because what happened was okay, but because I didn’t want to carry the weight anymore. Still, sometimes I wonder… was it because he was her son?

This post isn’t about blame or sympathy.
It’s about truth.
It’s about acknowledging that silence and denial cause lifelong wounds.
And it’s about reminding survivors that their feelings even mixed, confusing ones are valid.

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone.
Your story matters.
And what happened to you was never your fault.

And just so you know:
If this conversation brings up intense feelings or makes things feel shaky, it might help to talk to someone off-line too a trusted person, a counsellor, or a support line. In South Africa, Lifeline SA (0861 322 322) and Childline (116) can offer support, even for adults who experienced abuse as children. Reaching out isn’t a weakness; it’s support for a wound that deserved care a long time ago.









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