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Kalimari's Hot Takes A wonderful place for reviews and s**tposts.

Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City movie review (spoiler free):So to set the scene, I'm a big resident evil fan and ...
27/12/2021

Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City movie review (spoiler free):

So to set the scene, I'm a big resident evil fan and not been a fan of the original movies that released, I was intrigued to learn that holy s**t, there's going to be a reboot covering the first 2 games? The trailers drop, and they all look interesting, I'm not too bothered about the characters looking different to the source material, whatever, as long as the acting, story and comparisons to the game keep hitting those marks, I'll be sold!

And then we come to today, where I finally watched it. It was, for lack of a better word, awful.

I have a lot of issues with this film and not really many positives to say either to the point where it's hard to know where to start but I'll try:

I'll keep this spoiler free but the changes to the story aren't done well, they leave fans like myself feeling confused as to why they changed anything in the first place, I understand you can't exactly have Chris, Jill, Claire and Leon standing around reading notes to get the story across like what happens in the game but they made weird choices to the story that only make you question people's motives further, not to mention filling in spaces that simply didn't need to be made around Chris and Claire's childhood for example.

One of the best parts about the first game is Lisa Trevor, what a terrifying but sad story she has, it's haunting but finding her is a great moment in the original game. Having her be a guide for Claire is just so weird and questionable, within the first couple of minutes in the film she's watching over Child Claire and Claire asks 'where do you live?' To which Lisa writes a note stating 'Below'. My issue with this is, if she can just appear at the umbrella orphanage and casually talk to the children, she could just escape, and proveably does only a couple of minutes later when it jumps forward to Claire as an adult and you see Lisa again. It undermines Lisa's tragic story if you're sitting there questioning why she doesn't just...leave? And it also ruins the scary reveal in the original game.

The references to the games are both a blessing and a curse in this instance and by that I mean that some of the set design is fantastic, yep! That's the R.P.D. I remember, that's the Spencer Mansion I remember! But then it very quickly falls apart when they change stuff for convenience sake, there's a scene that features the room you find the piano in the first game where you play Moonlight Sonata, but instead of having Jill solve what to do, Wesker (who by the way is just chilling with Jill the whole time up till this point) whips out his Umbrella provided palmpilot and instantly solves the puzzle. One of the scariest parts about the games is how lost you can feel at first, the tension of not knowing what to do and things like that, I'd have loved for them to portray that somehow in the movie but they don't even attempt it in the slightest.

Another thing I want to mention is the changes to Wesker's character. They, for some reason, spend a LOT of time establishing the characters, their personalities and such, which makes me question who exactly this film is for? You have all these references slapping you in the face, screaming at you THIS IS THE THING YOU LOVE but then you still treat the people watching like it's the first time they've seen this cast? Anyway, they make out as if Wesker was bought out by Umbrella essentially, he took money to help make sure evidence doesn't get out against Umbrella and he feels reluctant to screw over his S.T.A.R.S. compadres. The issue with this is that Wesker isn't meant to be relatable, he's a huge as***le and you're not meant to like or feel sorry for him, every choice they made changing the story or characters left me incredibly confused.

Any moment that could've been cool, like the zombie writing 'itchy tasty' on the window would've been a nice, subtle nod to one of the most famous notes in any video game ever, but then they have the zombie literally scream ITCHY, TASTY and suddenly the moment was ruined for me, those nods should be subtle in my opinion, having it right in your face isn't very enjoyable or clever, the sonic movie somehow handled subtle references much better than this

Another problem I had was that they did the reveal of the first zombie you see in the game, in the movie. However, it was done like half an hour into the movie, after you've already seen regular zombies, zombie dogs, zombie crow and so on, not to mention the practical effects really don't look good in this movie at all.

It really feels like they didn't know what direction to go in here: do we make an obscure but celebrated film hyperfocusing on recreating the games exactly in the movie medium or do we make a more generalised film to bring in a wider audience? Why not try both! Well, they did that it feels, and it falls flat on it's face in the process.

I'll be glad to give more thoughts in the comments if anybody's interested but I'll wrap this up for now

I think the performances were bad, the directing and camera work was flat and not memorable at all, the cgi and practical effects look dated, the story changes were distracting and frustrating, trying to force that many character stories and personalities in such a quick speed whilst simultaneously making it boring or inaccurate wasn't any fun to watch, the lighting was bad for the most part too, horrors can be scary in bright lights, the original game is a prime example of that, the mansion is lit up perfectly fine but the situation is the terror, not if it's dark or not, shame they didn't translate that into the movie either

Overall I give this a generous 2/10, there is very little I enjoyed here, the occasional moment of 'heh, I recognise that' just couldn't win me over because then they'd have Chris saying things like 'Birkin is like a dad to me' which is just...absurd. also no Barry Burton.

07/06/2021
12/02/2021

A classic English advert for Mario Kart GBA.

26/01/2021

Yakuza: Like A Dragon is a game in which you learn the value of friendship, loyalty and respect. It's also a game where you fight a chimp in a digger.

22/07/2020

Yes.

11/07/2020

How can you not love these games?

Full credit to on Twitter.

(OC)
10/07/2020

(OC)

10/07/2020

I have 100 followers now 😇

07/07/2020

FF7R but it's a scene from an Indian soap opera

Full credit to on Twitter.

Old news by now im sure but starfox 64 was a great game from my childhood so this was upsetting to see. RIP Rick May
06/07/2020

Old news by now im sure but starfox 64 was a great game from my childhood so this was upsetting to see.

RIP Rick May

Care reacts only
05/07/2020

Care reacts only

average smash player Vito Scaletta.
29/06/2020

average smash player Vito Scaletta.

So, an old Youtuber, Cryaotic, also known as Cry, casually admits in this video to dating minors. Didn't see this coming...
22/06/2020

So, an old Youtuber, Cryaotic, also known as Cry, casually admits in this video to dating minors. Didn't see this coming since he just didn't seem like the type. Some of you will probably recognise him from years ago when he used to play with Pewdiepie and CinnamonToastKen back in the old Let's Play days.

Just thought you should know. He said in the comments he's going to make a follow up video in better detail.

https://youtu.be/H4E5B0-8q2E

21/06/2020

I guess even Mafia II: Definitive Edition says ACAB

(cop on left fu***ng jumps off the roof)

Woody was kind of a c**t, huh
21/06/2020

Woody was kind of a c**t, huh

Been a while since I've posted; im not dead I swear. Instead of doing a review of every single marvel movie (aside from ...
21/06/2020

Been a while since I've posted; im not dead I swear.

Instead of doing a review of every single marvel movie (aside from Hulk, I forgot to watch that, and I'm not counting Spiderman: Far From Home as its after endgame), I decided to just make a tier list based on how much i enjoyed watching them.

Some clarification; I don't think any of the marvel movies are poorly made, they all clearly have good teams working on them and they have a budget to back up their ideas. I also don't think some of the movies are better or worse necessarily than the ones around it (Guardians Vol.2 and Infinity War are equal to me for example) and the only movies I didnt enjoy at all were the iron man movies.

Hey, been a while, I know. I've been busy and I also didn't really want to post during all the BLM protests out of respe...
09/06/2020

Hey, been a while, I know. I've been busy and I also didn't really want to post during all the BLM protests out of respect for their cause.

I'm posting because of this.

There's currently a bundle that has over 700 games in it for as little as $5. All the money goes to charities helping racial justice and equality. This might be a good enough incentive for some of you to donate, every little bit will help the cause overall.

Black lives matter.

https://itch.io/b/520/bundle-for-racial-justice-and-equality

Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality: 745 items for $5.00

whoopsie
24/05/2020

whoopsie

Terry Kirby says Trans Rights
08/05/2020

Terry Kirby says Trans Rights

Day 234

Oh lord
04/05/2020

Oh lord

Is this a fu***ng Tiger King reference in Call Of Duty?Same mustache, mulletEven has a crown in the bundle, too
03/05/2020

Is this a fu***ng Tiger King reference in Call Of Duty?

Same mustache, mullet

Even has a crown in the bundle, too

02/05/2020

French Kiryu

French Kiryu

I was cleaning out my room and found this legendary title. That date written on it is when I bought it, only a year afte...
01/05/2020

I was cleaning out my room and found this legendary title.

That date written on it is when I bought it, only a year after it released for £50... as you can see, I got it for £4 and it was already dead by then lmao

3 seconds is all I need
25/04/2020

3 seconds is all I need

Sh*tty OC
21/04/2020

Sh*tty OC

This isn't a beach, this is a bath tubCredit to  on Twitter.
20/04/2020

This isn't a beach, this is a bath tub

Credit to on Twitter.

Jojo Rabbit (2019, Movie)Not going to properly review this because i really do think its something you need to experienc...
19/04/2020

Jojo Rabbit (2019, Movie)

Not going to properly review this because i really do think its something you need to experience for yourself but it's such a fantastic movie.

It was definitely advertised as a dark comedy, you can even see that from the poster, however, it goes much deeper than that and has a lot to say about indoctrination and how easy it was for horrific people to control the minds of their people.

Absolute 10/10, everybody's performance was amazing and I have no complaints whatsoever.

12/04/2020

achoo

Strange choice for a video game but ok
09/04/2020

Strange choice for a video game but ok

Directed and written by Ruggero Deodato himself

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