29/01/2023
Honestly, I have spent over 20 years of my life resenting being a women⦠there were moments where I have continually questioned my s*xuality, my s*xual orientation & all of the above.
At some phases I have done everything in power to cut off my femininity and wanted to become a boy.
I spent years trying to be āone of the boysā because at least If I was one of them, maybe then I wouldnāt have men projecting on to me how much they wanted to āf* me all the time.
Why?
Because of trauma, like many women my s*xual innocence got taken away from me at a young age⦠Iāll share more of this another time.
More recently, however, no matter how hard I try⦠I just canāt get away from the soft plush hues of pink and soft rose. I feel what femininity means to me has been coming alive and with the the whole world questioning their orientation. I have become more and more in love with the fact that itās taken me almost 30 years to truly identify and claim being a sensual & feminine women⦠and I love that about me.
Itās been coming in for about 5 years nowā¦
During my teens I spent a lot of time in my āTom boyā phase. I was extremely melancholic, spent a lot time in my room listening to Panic at the Disco, Blink 182 and Green Day. Wearing a lot of black covered in piercings, camping rising motorbikes and drinking Bundaberg rum ā¦. I know right ;)
(Swipe left for some insights)
However, the more healing and clearing I have done on my womb & heart space. The more powerful I am understanding my role as a feminine being. I slowly let go and dropped my punk rock bad girl vibes..
We can spend our whole lives trying to fit in, find a label and identify with characters that we get to play. To make us feel safe & in control.
Ultimately, we are here to learn how to truly be in our own bodies. Once we move past the ego phases of trying to be something or anything other then what we are born to be.
We can truly make room to be in service to othersā¦
You donāt need to wear pink or black or any colour to be feminine or identify with being a women.
This is my version of my own storyā¦coming to light with how this expression and identity moves through me currently šļø