26/06/2025
"There are only four kinds of people in the world:
Those who have been caregivers,
those who are currently caregivers,
those who will be caregivers and
those who will need a caregiver."
Rosalynn Carter
My guest for Thursday, June 26, on Life on the Illinois Prairie, Marsha L. Estell-Gude, knows first hand, the pain, heartache, and frustration that occurs when a loved one develops dementia. Marsha is a Mattoon, Illinois native, currently living in Indianapolis, Indiana. Her story about what happened to her beloved husband, Richard, is incredibly sad and a cautionary tale for anyone having a loved one in a nursing home or adult care facility. A former aide in a nursing home herself as a young girl, Marsha was shocked to see how standards for patient care have eroded over the years.
Trying to come to terms with losing a spouse is always difficult, but losing a spouse incrementally to dementia is entirely different. Unable to express their own needs, they are often totally dependent on the employees of a facility. When you have to question every aspect of their care and cannot trust the people hired to take care of them, it weighs on your spirit. Marsha was an outspoken advocate for her husband, but too many people languishing in nursing homes do not have anyone to speak for them or stand up to the nursing home staff. They often are at the mercy of an uncaring staff.
Marsha was fortunate in having friends and a loving, helpful family and together they brought Richard home to be in a safe, familiar, loving, environment. Having him home where she could monitor his care, brought a measure of peace of mind.
If you have anyone in a nursing home or care facility, please listen to Marsha's story. She has tips for things to watch out for and to be aware of in the adult care environment. She is a devout Christian, and at times it was a struggle to keep moving forward, especially after Richard passed. They had a deep love and a marriage bound by God, and Marsha went the extra mile to make Richard as happy and comfortable as anyone living with dementia can be.
Marsha is currently working as a caregiver. She says that she enjoys doing that kind of work. She has empathy and loves helping others. Too many people these days just do the job for a paycheck and not because they have the calling to help people. Don't let your loved one become a victim of neglect.
Link to podcast:
https://redcircle.com/shows/5dc7f4c2-5444-4ca2-88d1-80100d3d5db1
Link to watch the PBS documentary "Caregiving":
https://www.pbs.org/show/caregiving/