The Gentlewoman Boss

05/05/2023

It's been almost four years since my phone rang and my supervisor told me l was fired - after raising some ethical, financial, & potentially illegal concerns to her and her superiors.

Being fired because you deserve it is one thing.

Being fired because those in *power* need a scapegoat is another animal all together...and it brought out the animal in me.

A three and a half year wrongful termination / retaliation / whistleblower lawsuit ensued.

Here are my takeaways for anyone facing a similar situation:

🔹️Speaking up is always the right thing to do...just be sure you understand it may cost you your job. Have an exit plan in place.

🔹️Be 100% clear on the culture and ethics/principles of where & who you work at and for. Take off the rose colored glasses and don't kid yourself.

🔹️Elitists with fancy degrees, titles & social connections are capable of as much, if not more, corruption as your average Joe. Don't be fooled into thinking they will do the right thing by you. They won't.

🔹️Don't allow work relationships to become personal. In the end, even the sweetest of souls will protect their own interests rather than be loyal to you.

🔹️Weigh carefully the pros & cons of litigation. Justice is rarely delivered in these situations; you won't get an apology or your job back, and if you receive financial compensation, it will rarely be equal to the physical, mental, emotional and financial toll a lawsuit takes on you, your family, other relationships & your career.

🔹️Be prepared to sail that ship solo. The legal process is achingly archaic & slow, and it is designed to wear you down so that you give up. The initial support you get from family & friends is great, but it doesn't last.

🔹️No one cares if your heart is broken, that your soul is crushed, that you still cry everyday, that you question whether it's worth it to live, that nightmares wake you up shaking, that you question whether you can ever trust anyone again, that your terrified you'll never be able to work again. IT'S BUSINESS. The sooner you can remove any & all emotion from your case, the better. This is much easier said than done.

🔹️Whatever you decide to do, understand that it is your decision, and yours alone. No two situations are exactly alike, and only you know what is at stake & how much you can handle.

🔹️You are more than your job. If you've been unfairly let go, they probably didn’t deserve you anyway. Rest, but don't quit. You have so much to offer, you just need to find a place where you are truly valued & appreciated.

I want to thank my legal team for all their support, guidance, patience, & for having my back during a time that I felt very alone & vulnerable.

What a ride. 🎢🎢🎢

06/01/2023

I have reached 100 followers! Thank you for your continued support. I could not have done it without each of you. 🙏🤗🎉

27/10/2022

We were on vacation last week, so I'm a few days late posting about International Workplace Bullying Awareness Week (October 16-22, 2022).

Some of you already know my workplace abuse story, but for those who are new in my network, here are the cliff notes.

On a Monday afternoon in 2019, I raised ethical/financial concerns at work.

Two days later, on Wednesday morning, I was fired over the phone.

Cause? Eventually, they labeled it "Insubordination".

Leaders: If your employees can't ask questions or for clarification re: work/decisions that directly affects them, the company, and/or the shareholders, you shouldn't be in a leadership role.

If the culture where you work stifles communication, questions, sharing information or lacks transparency, get out now.

Creating a healthy workplace means creating a psychologically safe workplace, where employees won't fear retaliation, punishment, loss of job, loss of health insurance, and the heavy toll it all takes on their mental health.

Three+ years later, with a new job that I enjoy alongside a fun, respectful, supportive team & boss, I still have nightmares, get flashbacks, get triggered into rumination & scare easily. Workplace abuse PTSD...I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

While it's everyone's job to contribute to healthy workplace cultures, it's Leadership that must pave the way, not just in word, but in deed.

14/09/2022

If you need some diamonds or a new watch, I'm your girl!

Excited to start a new adventure into the world of fine jewelry & watches at Macy's.

Cheers to new beginnings ✨️ 🥂💎

23/08/2022

New episode is out on The Gentlewoman Boss Podcast! Join me as I share my review of seeing Dr No on the big screen...from the perspective of a Bond Girl. 👠🍸💄
The Red Velvet Shoe Vintage Clothing

07/08/2022

Trailer is out!

cc: The Red Velvet Shoe Vintage Clothing

#

Season Two of The Gentlewoman Boss Podcast has launched! Be a darling and follow me on Anchor FM ~ our new podcast host.

05/08/2022

We're Baaaaaack!

The Red Velvet Shoe Vintage Clothing 🎉🥳🎊

30/07/2022

We needed this reminder today, too.

Don't waste your time at the wrong table, in the wrong room, in the wrong ring, trying to get the attention of, or conquer, what's beneath you.

Don't ever diminish your light, your efforts, your work, your passion, just to be dismissed, diminished, discounted, or ignored by those you wish to serve.

Reach higher...they don't deserve you.

25/05/2022

My daughter was in elementary school when Sandy Hook happened.

I still feel nauseous at the memory of that hideous day.

Followed by the memory of dropping her off, the following Monday morning, "assured" by the Superintendent that she would be perfectly safe...seeing Police Cruisers everywhere as I drove up to the drop-off site.

In a nanosecond, as she climbed out of the back seat, I fought the ferocious mother instinct to grab her, pull her back into the relative safety of our SUV, and take her back home.

Instead, I hugged her, kissed her cheek, and said, as I always did "Have a great day, my pie, see you at pick-up!"

I took extra note of the smell of her hair, of her soft cheek, her sweet breath, exhaled in a mix of laughter & exasperation for holding onto her for too long.

She skipped brightly toward the door, then turned and cheerily waved, smiling back at me, as she always did.

I waved and smiled as cheerfully as I could muster.

As I turned away, my eyes met those of the other parents at drop-off. Weak smiles, dark circles, nods of fearful understanding, unspoken words, terror.

I pulled forward in the exit lane, to the curb, opened the car door & threw up in the street.

I experienced the same nausea, shock, horror, and anger today, when I learned of yet another preventable massacre of innocent children at Uvalde Elementary School.

This. Has. To. Stop.

24/03/2022

"What makes this story different is that we hear, and are used to hearing, about these issues every day in every sector, entertainment, sports, the government and corporate America. We haven’t heard it much in the Non-Profit sector, and surely, it happens.
What rings sad here is that these are the very people who are tasked with doing good for our larger society.
Lisa’s story is only one of many and I am proud she had the courage to tell it.
I encourage you, if after reading this, you say, or just think, “Oh, yeah. . . ” please, lift YOUR voice. For it is only when we join together as a chorus, the song becomes too loud to ignore."

(Excerpt from Foreword by Gretchen Carlson for newly released Best Selling book "Harasshole: A Cautionary Tale of My Time at “America’s Favorite Charity”" by Lisa Bowman.)

23/03/2022

In part one of my interview for The Gentlewoman Boss Podcast with Best Selling Author, Lisa Bowman, Lisa discusses the reasons she felt obligated to speak up about the unethical environment at United Way; an environment she says violated Title VII and had done so for years. Her concerns and complaints fell on the deaf ears of fellow C-Suite Executives and the both the US and Global Boards of Trustees , and within a few months she was wrongfully terminated.

Lisa speaks about the disappointment and sense of betrayal at the realization that other powerful women who could have stood up for her and the other women she was trying to protect (many of whom were women of color), chose instead to abandon ship, walk away with generous separation packages, and move on to senior roles in other organizations. She speaks to the failure of the Boards in governance, choosing, instead, to protect long-time CEO, Brian Gallagher.

The sense of personal accountability to protect other women who would come after her led Lisa to file an EEOC claim and to take her story public, and ultimately led her to publish her new BEST SELLING book "Harasshole: A Cautionary Tale of My Time at “America’s Favorite Charity”.

The links to her book & her website are in the comments below. On behalf of Lisa, thank you to everyone that bought a copy of her book, or shared it to their network - it's hit number one for New Releases and is on the Best Sellers list in multiple categories. It truly takes a village to effect change, thank you for your help & support.

https://youtu.be/19bci8xRgnQ

Your Host: Michelle HorlbogenInterview with Lisa Bowman, Former Global Chief Marketing Officer of United Way WorldwideIn part one of this two-part interview,...

21/03/2022

Over the past few weeks, thanks to technology and global media, we've witnessed incredible acts of courage and bravery play out on the world scene. We've seen common, every day people stand up for what they believe in, for their rights, for each other. Only the coldest of hearts couldn't be moved by it.

Over the past few years, there have been other acts of courage and bravery going on that few are even aware of.

Like the courage and bravery Lisa Bowman displayed when she spoke up about sexual harassment at America's Favorite Charity, United Way and subsequently got fired.

Lisa wasn't a new hire or an entry-level employee; she was the Chief Marketing Officer of United Way Global - THE CMO.

Despite her well-earned seat in the C-Suite; Lisa still experienced harassment and was retaliated against for speaking up, not just for herself, but for her reports, who feared retaliation if they said anything. She, in essence, took the bullet for them all.

Today, Lisa announced the release of her book: "Harasshole - A Cautionary Tale of My Time at "America's Favorite Charity"".

I couldn't be more proud of her.

"I believe the answer to toxic leadership and the environment of harassment that continues to plague the workplace is to fight back, not give up. Such behavior must not be normalized through silent acceptance. Courageously speaking up about injustice or harm may not always help, and it certainly creates personal risks to those who do it.

One thing is certain: remaining silent in the face of injustice will not create a better and more equitable world devoid of this behavior."

Lisa Bowman
​Author of Harasshole, Speaker and Activist

Today, I'm asking you to let your heart be moved by this woman who stood up for what she believed in, for her rights, and for the rights of others.

If you have a means to get this story in front of the masses, through technology or global media, I'm asking you to do it. If you are financially able to purchase a copy of her book, I'm asking you to do so. If you are not, and you or someone you know needs to read this, please send me a DM and I will purchase a copy for you.

Please visit the comments below for the link to purchase her book, her website and more.

Thank you.

08/02/2022

"The ruling says an employee will only need to prove that their whistleblowing was a “contributing factor” in their firing, demotion or discipline."

“That means it was one reason among others, rather than the sole reason or the 'real' reason,” said Berkeley Law professor Catherine Fisk. “This rule makes it easier for whistleblowers to win when they sue for wrongful termination or other retaliation after they blow the whistle.”

14/01/2022

Stop letting people who have disappointed, used, manipulated, abused, bullied, and excluded you still have a say.

If they've turned their back, they don't get a say in what happens behind it.

Stop letting them have a voice in something they forfeited.

Their choice. Their consequences.

You write the narrative now, they don't get a say.

01/01/2022

As we wrap up 2021, I thought I'd share some takeaways from the latest Bond film, "No Time To Die".

>We don't have all the time in the world - hug your people, chase the dream, eat the cake, wear the lingerie, use the crystal, forgive, forget.

>We have gut instinct for a reason - trust it.

>Never trust a guy with a bulging eyeball.

>Avoid hitting animals while driving if at all possible; it's the kind thing to do, no matter what danger your in.

>Never doubt the power of a magnet.

>Don't blame it on bad luck when it was really bad judgment; own that stuff.

>Ladies, never leave the house without double sided tape.

>Women who can run in heels should be feared.

>It never hurts to know how to fly a plane.

>Never say "never" again...

Now, I'm off to mix a vodka martini, shaken, not stirred, reflecting on what a difference a moment can make and how quickly just a minute can alter eternity.

RIP 007.

See you all next year...

#007

20/12/2021

So much for the time of year people preach good tidings, cheer, comfort & joy 🙄.

I read an interesting post over the weekend about another *influencer* tactic; paying for earned media.

If you're willing to dish out enough $$$, you can end up on the covers of magazines, on "Best Whatever" Lists, on the News, on Documentaries, even on National Television.

I tagged someone on the post who, based on multiple conversations on this topic, I knew it would resonate with since they are also trying to raise awareness about the shenanigans often employed to appear as an expert and garner public trust.

Below was their reply. 🤯

Then they blocked me. 😳

First, this is a perfect example of how things can be mis-read, misunderstood, mistaken in context on social media.

Second, I may be many things, but I'm not a bully.

Third, it's time for this gal to take a break from cyberville & unplug.

The Gentlewoman Boss Podcast is on hold for the foreseeable future. Thanks to anyone that's listened.

However your spending the holidays, just try to be kind and treat others with grace.

This year can't be over soon enough.