Finding Your Heartlight

13/11/2025

World Kindness Day 2025

In the spirit of today, I suggest you perform an act of kindness for someone—anyone! It doesn't matter if it's for a stranger or a friend, simple or complex, or even if your action goes unacknowledged.

True kindness is powerful because it requires neither recognition nor repayment, yet it deeply touches our spirit. One of the most effective ways to help ourselves is by genuinely helping others.

Think about how a simple gesture—a smile, a sincere inquiry about your well-being—can lift your spirits when you're feeling down. Recall the positive shift you've seen in someone when you offered help, provided assistance, or simply held a door open.

Here is a challenge for today that can be used anytime: The next time you feel alone, anxious, sad, invisible, or burdened by any difficult emotion, perform an act of kindness.

By doing so, you will instantly impact the lives of at least two people—yourself and the recipient. And, you might just start a beautiful ripple effect that touches many more.

Unexpected kindness... try it and feel its power!

06/11/2025

Perception post follow-up: Three steps to change how you see the world.

Step 1: Develop Self-Awareness
The first and most critical step is to become aware of the negative mental filters or cognitive distortions that color your perception.

Identify Negative Self-Talk: Pay close attention to the endless stream of thoughts that run through your head, especially when you encounter an unpleasant or challenging situation.

Recognize Distortions: Look for common unhelpful thought patterns:
Filtering: Focusing only on the negative details and magnifying them while ignoring all the positive ones.
Personalizing: Automatically blaming yourself when something bad occurs.
Catastrophizing: Automatically anticipating the worst possible outcome without evidence.
Black-and-White Thinking: Seeing things as all good or all bad, with no middle ground.

Journaling/Reflection: Write down a conflict or a negative experience. Free-writing helps you externalize your thoughts and discover the underlying assumptions that are driving your perspective.

Step 2: Challenge and Reframe Your Thoughts
Once you "catch" an unhelpful thought, you need to "check" it by rationally examining its validity and then "change" it to a more balanced view.

Question the Evidence: Ask yourself: "How likely is the outcome I'm worried about?" and "What objective evidence supports this thought?" This helps you step back from pure emotional reaction.

Look for Alternative Explanations: Actively search for other ways to look at the situation. Instead of assuming your friend canceled plans because they don't like you, consider other possibilities (they are sick, busy, or stressed).

Practice Positive Self-Talk: Actively respond to a negative thought with a rational, positive, or neutral affirmation. Treat yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you would offer a friend.

Focus on Gratitude: Make a conscious effort to notice and appreciate the things you have. This shifts your focus from what you lack (which creates a negative, scarcity paradigm) to what you possess (which fosters a positive, abundance paradigm).

Step 3: Change Your Actions
A true paradigm shift results in new behavior and attitude, not the other way around. Focus on what you can control.

Be Proactive: Recognize that between any stimulus (what happens to you) and your response (how you react) lies your freedom to choose. Stop allowing external circumstances to dictate your internal state.

Seek First to Understand: When dealing with others, shift your primary goal from getting your point across to truly understanding their perspective. This act of empathy forces you to momentarily step into another person's shoes, instantly broadening your view of the situation.

Change Your Environment: Surround yourself with positive, supportive people and content (books, podcasts, movies) that align with the perspective you want to achieve.

Renew Yourself: Continuously improve yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This continuous self-renewal strengthens your inner character, making your primary lens clearer and more resilient.

06/11/2025

"We do not see the world as the world is, we see the world as we are." - Stephen Covey

This statement highlights that we don't have direct access to objective reality. Our experiences, beliefs, values, past trauma, mood, and expectations act as a lens or a filter through which we interpret everything.

Our internal state dictates our view: If a person is generally fearful or cynical, they will likely perceive threats and negative intentions everywhere, even in neutral situations. Conversely, someone who is optimistic and grateful might see opportunities and kindness where others only see obstacles. The world itself hasn't changed, but the observer's interpretation of it has.

The Power of Paradigms: Stephen Covey often referred to paradigms, or the way we "see" the world mentally. Our personal paradigm is like a map—it guides our decisions and behavior. If our map is flawed (i.e., based on limiting or negative beliefs), we will struggle to navigate the actual territory effectively, regardless of how accurate the territory (the world) truly is.

Have you ever experienced a complete turnaround in your attitude towards something once you understood a different viewpoint? That is known as a paradigm shift, and you can feel the difference immediately.

We often project our internal feelings and self-image onto others. If you struggle with insecurity, you might interpret a neutral glance from a colleague as judgment. If you are deeply stressed, you might perceive a partner's quietness as anger rather than simple fatigue. The colleague and partner are acting as they are, but you are seeing them as you are.

The most effective way to change our experience of the world is not to try and change the world itself, but to change the way we look at it. By working on our own character, self-awareness, and personal paradigms, we can clean the lens through which we view life. This allows us to move closer to a more objective, balanced, and productive understanding of reality. Once you understand, life gets a lot easier.

Want to change how you see the world? Check back here tomorrow for some steps you can take.

04/11/2025

Have you set your theme for November? We suggest gratitude!

True happiness doesn't lead to gratitude; true gratitude leads to happiness.

The secret is being profoundly thankful for your life exactly as it is right now.

Drop the "I'll be happy when..." mindset. Instead of waiting for [that promotion, new house, or ideal situation], focus on the abundance that already surrounds you. This simple shift in perspective will open your eyes to an endless stream of things to appreciate.

As your gratitude deepens, your happiness will follow suit. They are partners, constantly building each other up. Start the practice today. Look for the good in your daily life, feel that appreciation in your core, and notice how quickly it becomes the dominant feeling, transforming your world.

Gratitude has a domino effect. Your attitude, emotions, peace, and perceptions will all be impacted. You will see yourself differently and see the world differently.

You have the power to decide. Choose gratitude today and every day. It is one decision that you will never regret!

10/10/2025

• A JOYful Suggestion • If today gets difficult, remember the sound of your favorite person’s laugh, the feeling you get when a song you love comes on, the way sunlight bounces off a window and that we are here to take care of each other. ~Nanea Hoffman, Sweatpants & Coffee

Sherri 🍂🧡🍁🧡 Incredible JOY

10/10/2025

Many of us grew up in homes where emotions were treated like something to fix, silence, or fear.
“Stop crying.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“You have nothing to be upset about.”

It wasn’t our emotions that scared the adults around us — it was our reaction to them.
So we learned to shrink. To hide what we felt. To believe that being emotional meant being too much.

But feelings don’t disappear just because they’re ignored. They wait — and they resurface later as stress, anxiety, or the deep sense that we can’t trust what we feel.

If we want to do better — for ourselves and our children — we have to unlearn that fear.
We have to remember that emotions aren’t the enemy. They’re messengers.

Our children don’t need us to make their big feelings disappear.
They need us to help them make sense of them.

That starts with co-regulation — meeting their chaos with calm, their tears with presence, their fear with safety.

Sit with them through the wave.
Name what’s happening.
Hold them if they reach for you.
And wait.

The calm will return — more quickly, more deeply — when their feelings are met, not managed.

Later, when the storm has passed, you can talk about it — to understand what they were really trying to say, once they’re calm enough to find the words.

But first, we have to let them have all of their emotions.

Because the goal isn’t to stop them from feeling.
It’s to raise children who don’t have to heal from being human. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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10/10/2025

October theme suggestion: above the line thinking

Here we are already 10 days into October, and in Canada, we are preparing for our Thanksgiving weekend.

This weekend is all about gratitude, and this month is all about having a growth mindset, which is above the line thinking. I have previously shared my poem about this subject, and I think it deserves re-posting as a light-hearted summary!

Above and Below The Line

Let’s start off with an attitude check.
See a glass as half empty you may be headed for a wreck.
See a glass as half full, you may be living right.
See a glass as refillable and it is a beautiful sight!

Imagine the water level as the line.
Keep your head above and you will be fine,
Sink below and the battle will begin,
A fight for survival, much to your chagrin.

Above the line means accountability and owning your lessons,
Living in peace and harmony, roadblocks are just new sessions.
Being responsible and no holding back,
Going your own way, trusting you are on the right track.

Below the line means victim mentality and nothing is your fault,
Living in fear and judgement, love locked away in a vault.
Blaming others and making excuses to avoid taking action,
Stuck in the mud, the challenge is to get traction.

Change your thinking to change your course,
There are always options, be open, no need to force.
A different direction discovers a new find,
Choose your path to control your state of mind.

On this World Mental Health Day, stay above the line, seek solutions, learn the lessons, be open to possibilities, and be accountable. This is its own reward and good for your mental health!

03/09/2025

September theme idea: Meanings and Stories

Why Stories Matter: The Deeper Meanings
Every story, whether it's an epic legend or a simple memory, is a container for meaning. This "meaning" is the wisdom, emotion, or truth we extract from an experience. Think of it this way: a car trip is just a series of turns and highways, but the story of that road trip holds the meaning—the laughter, the wrong turns, the bonds formed.

Stories are how we teach our most important lessons. They give us a way to pass on values like courage, kindness, and perseverance without just listing them. For example, a parent doesn't just tell their child to be brave; they tell a story about a time they had to face a fear.

They also provide a sense of identity. The stories we tell about ourselves—our successes, our failures, our defining moments—are what create our personal narrative. The stories our families tell about where they came from and what they went through give us a sense of belonging. They are the threads that connect us to a larger tapestry.

The Power of Sharing
When we share our stories, we're not just speaking; we're giving a part of ourselves away. This act of vulnerability creates a bridge between two people. By listening to someone else's story, we step into their world and build empathy. We find common ground in shared emotions—joy, sadness, or struggle—even if the details of our lives are completely different.

The meanings and stories we share are what keep us human. They are the antidote to isolation. They remind us that our experiences, no matter how small they seem, are significant and connected to the larger human experience.

What's a simple story you've heard that holds a profound meaning for you?

03/09/2025

What non-commitment story are you telling yourself?

Does it sound like any of these:
Let's meet soon.
We should catch up.
I should reach out.
One day I will.
I wish I could.

How long have you been telling yourself this?
How much longer will you continue to tell yourself this?
What are you getting out of staying in replay mode?

If you actually want to do any of the things you have been putting off, make the choice to make it happen.

Make yourself a priority.
Make the commitment.
Make a plan.
Make it happen.
Make your story about experiences instead of wishes.

Take action today and make today that "one day" you have been talking about for too long already!

03/09/2025

Be the author of your story and edit it as often as you wish.

Your Story, Your Life

Your life is a story, and you are the author. Every experience, good or bad, is a chapter. You get to decide what each chapter means. What you believe about yourself—and what you're capable of—is directly shaped by the stories you tell. As John Assaraf said, "The stories we tell ourselves shape our lives. They shape who we believe we are, and this belief translates into who we become."

Your beliefs are the foundation of everything—your values, your goals, your relationships, and the life you build. They determine your standards and what you'll accept. They can either open your mind to new possibilities or hold you back from opportunities.

So, where are you today? Are you living the life you imagined? The person you are and the life you have are a result of your current story. Are you waiting for things to change, or are you actively working to create change?

If you want to create a different future, you have to start with a new story. You can't keep doing the same thing and expect a different result. Change begins with you and the narrative you choose.

Here are a few suggestions to help get you started to rewrite your story:

Revisit Your Past: Don't just look at past experiences as setbacks or failures. Examine them for what you learned and the strength you gained. See how those moments shaped you for the better. This new perspective can change the meaning of your stories.

Challenge Old Beliefs: As your stories change, your old beliefs—the ones that held you back—will begin to lose their power. You can then replace them with new, empowering beliefs that serve the person you want to become. This opens up your mind to new possibilities and opportunities you never considered before.

Create a New Chapter: Now, think about who you want to be. Imagine yourself one, five, and even ten years from now. What does that person believe? How do those new beliefs help them achieve their goals? What action will you take to live that story?

It’s your story. It's your life. What do you want it to be?

05/08/2025

August theme suggestion: Empowerment

Empowerment is:
❤️trusting yourself
❤️believing yourself
❤️owning yourself
❤️speaking your truth
❤️honoring your boundaries
❤️being comfortable with who you are
❤️being yourself

Empowerment is living life on your terms.
Unapologetically.
Without asking for permission to be yourself.

It is time to rise and let yourself shine!
Focus on your self-awareness of who you authentically are and all that you have to offer. You will thank yourself for it.